Part 5 (1/2)
After a few silent blinks, I found the air to speak, but it still came out shaky. ”That club. Those strippers. Are they really? Do you-”
”Jesus, Regan. Do you believe everything people say?”
It was a slap in the face. ”When it makes sense. Youve been hiding something.”
”Not this again.” He ran his hand over his face with a groan, and then took a step towards me, tone softening. ”You know me, I wouldnt do that.”
I shook my head and put my hand up, keeping him back. ”I dont know anything. You wont tell me anything.”
He kept coming forward, pressing into my hand. His fingers wrapped around my wrist, and he held my hand in place against his chest, eyes sinking into mine. ”Yes you do, you know me better than anyone.”
His face blurred as tears filled my eyes, but I didnt dare blink and release them. My arm shook under the weight of him, the weight of his words. I wish they were true, and it broke my heart to realize they no longer were.
”Theres too many secrets. I dont know you, not this person youve become.”
”Its still me.” He moved his hand over mine, pressing my palm to his heart. ”Feel that? Forget all the bulls.h.i.+t, its still me.”
I wanted to believe him. I searched his eyes for the truth, but all I saw was confusion and a desperate need to get me to believe. His light blue eyes were pulling me in. It felt impossible to physically push away, but I tried to keep the s.p.a.ce with my words. ”It hasnt felt like you for a while now.”
He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, like my words caused pain. But when he opened them his eyes were clear and focused, decision made. ”Let me show you.”
He collapsed into me, and my arm buckled between us as his lips covered mine. His strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me flush against his body. His strength held me up. My lips moved with his, a familiar dance but charged with desperation. I wanted this to be enough. I wanted to be enough for him.
My hands slid up his chest and shoulders, unable to resist the pull of the moment, of his gravity. I absorbed the feel of his lips, the safe warmth of his arms, the blissful rush of his tongue moving on mine, and the sensual moans he let escape when I tugged on his hair.
His hands crossed my back, pulling me closer to him. Our kiss so deep there was little air. His lips moved to the corner of my mouth, forehead pressing to mine as he sucked in ragged breaths. His fingers trailed a soft caress over the bare skin on my shoulders and arms.
”Babe, I love you.” He breathed between kisses over my chin.
Somehow my gasps for air were melting into shudders, holding back the tears that threatened. I had been the queen at using s.e.x to distract from the real issues. I feared thats what this was.
”Talk to me,” my voice pulled as I begged, straining under the emotion. ”Please. Tell me something. Be honest.” I gripped his hair, keeping our heads together. I didnt want to pull away. I wanted this moment to be real.
He sucked in a breath, hands moving to cup my face. ”You think Im lying to you?” He forced me to look at him, hurt clear on his face.
”I dont think youre telling me the truth, somethings going on at that club.” My hands dropped from his hair and slid lightly down his back, trying to encourage him to speak.
The muscles in his jaw flexed as he nodded, running his hand down my arm to grab my hand. He walked us to the couch, pulling me down next to him. My heart was about to leap out of my chest. The only warmth I felt was where his hand gripped mine.
”Its not that. I promise.” He slid his other hand over my thigh, squeezing lightly. ”Some of the girls there, they might try and sell themselves, and Alessandra and Viktor may want them to. But that doesnt go on when Im there.” He nodded like that made it all okay. ”I told you, this all would come back to me. The club is attached to my name, not theirs. Im working to clean it up.”
”Who hires the girls? What do you think you can do? What do they allow you to do?” Questions were bubbling in my mind, boiling over faster than I could speak them.
”Alessandra sets up the girls to work there. Theyre supposedly on a work visa, thats why theres high turnover, but...” He shook his head, cutting off his words. ”Its my name on all the paperwork, as long as their money is cleaned, I get to run it how I want.”
I leaned back some on the couch, stomach flipping as I weighed his words. I had only been to the club a few times and barely met the girls, but the few I saw had thick Russian accents.
Meeting his eyes, I didnt know what to say. I shrugged, trying to put words to the melancholy aching in me, an uncertainty snapping at my muscles. ”What are you going to do? You said youre going to clean it up?”
He pulled my legs to move me closer, and then his fingers slid to my hips, keeping me there. ”Im already cleaning it up. And once I get good people in there that I can trust, itll get easier.” His nose slid over my cheek, lips reaching my ear. ”Then I can be home more.” The tips of his fingers glided under my s.h.i.+rt, up the line of my spine, my skin breaking out in goose b.u.mps at the sensation. ”Thats enough talking for now.” His soft lips pressed to my shoulder, fingers pulling on the strap of my s.h.i.+rt, sliding it off and down my arm. ”Ive been thinking about being alone with you since we landed in Vegas.”
Each little movement increased my heartbeat and stripped away my thoughts. This is what this weekend was supposed to be about. He had opened up some, that was enough for now.
He stole my breath, tongue gliding over the top curve of my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and dipping down into my cleavage as he squeezed my b.o.o.bs together, kneading each one.
”Gage.” One nagging thought kept me from letting go completely. I gripped his shoulders to get his attention. ”Just-I need to know.” I swallowed my nerves, beginning to doubt if I should ask, but I had to, it tormented me too much. ”In all your nights out, did you do anything with those girls.”
His hands jumped off me like I burned him. ”What the h.e.l.l, Regan? Were married.”
That wasnt an answer. ”We are, but...we havent been together much and you sometimes come home in different clothes, if you come home at all. Those hours are longer than the club hours.”
He rose to his feet, body stiff, and anger rolling off him. ”So that means Im cheating on you? I just f.u.c.king explained things to you, but thats not enough? Can you not let things go for one night?” He gripped his hair, pulling at the ends. ”What the h.e.l.l do you want from me?”
I stood up and stared at him, disbelieving. The reaction was too big for what I had asked. After months of him being gone, he gave me a couple minutes of honesty, and Im supposed to take it and move on.
”I wanted everything from you.” I bit down the heat of my anger, my words coming out icy clear. ”But not anymore.”
I walked away and slammed the door to the bedroom. After a moment, it became clear he wasnt coming after me. I let the emotions of the night erupt in tears and cried into the soft pillows with only my arms and warm blankets as comfort.
I stepped out of the bedroom, dressed in shorts and a t-s.h.i.+rt and brus.h.i.+ng my still wet hair from a shower, just in time to see Gage zip up his suitcase.
”What are you doing?” I questioned, taking in his grey slacks and b.u.t.ton up s.h.i.+rt.
He rose to standing, back to me as he reached his full height. ”Ive got to go. Somethings come up.”
”Back to New York?” I stepped closer to him, gripping the brush in my hand. ”What time is the flight? Do we have time to say bye to Dexter and Leona?” But I choked on further questions as I noticed it was only his bag he had out.
He turned, his lips pressed together and avoiding my eyes. ”You should stay. Go to the birthday tomorrow. Ill see you on Sunday.” He picked up his luggage and paused in front of me. He hesitated then tried to give me a kiss, but I stepped back.
”Thats it? Youre leaving, and thats all you have to say?” I couldnt breathe as the reality settled on me. ”Youre leaving me here?”
”You can come back, but Im going to be busy. I thought youd prefer to stay.” He still wasnt meeting my eyes.
I snapped and pushed him, but he didnt stop me when I pushed him again. He just let his body fall back. ”Why?”
”Im sorry. Well talk on Sunday. I have to go.” He started to reach for me, but then he dropped his arm and walked away. He paused with his hand on the doork.n.o.b. ”I know how messed up this is. And I know you dont believe me, but I love you.”
Those words only added to my confusion, salt to the wound that was his betrayal. But closing my eyes I could still picture him in the hospital bed all too clearly and I couldnt let him walk away without saying it.