Part 21 (1/2)

I had no response and guilt merged into shame. His words twisted in me, until I recognized something in them. ”So you didnt step in for me. You stepped in for the baby?”

His jaw dropped. ”Dont tell me youre jealous of our child now? Grow up.”

I crossed my arms and looked out the window, tears burning the back of my throat as I choked them down. I couldnt say anymore, I didnt want to let her get further between us. The silence stretched till we pulled into our parking garage. Gage pulled up to the elevator and let the car idle.

”This was it, Regan. I dont want you coming around any of this. I know I said you could be involved, but that was before you were pregnant.”

I had been thinking the same thing, but it still hurt to hear him say it. ”So were going back to how it was before?”

”No. I dont have to be at the club as many hours. Ill still tell you things, Ill let you know what Im doing, but you cant be there.”

Until he opens the next club. The words were left unspoken.

I paused with my hands on the door. ”Where are you going now then?”

”I still have to talk to Sal and Ive got that meeting later, so dont wait up.”

I recalled he mentioned a meeting earlier, before I saw Anthony. It felt like days had pa.s.sed since then as opposed to hours.

I opened the door but stopped short of getting out. I couldnt leave with him thinking me so selfish, and it finally hit me how to word what I was feeling. ”I wasnt jealous of the baby. I was hurt that you wouldnt have stepped up for me otherwise. That you are all right with the way she treats me. That you hold her so high up.”

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. ”Im sorry.” His blue eyes opened, meeting mine. ”Thats not true at all, but Im sorry you felt that way.”

”Then you would have stepped in, if I wasnt pregnant?”

He shook his head. ”No. I mean yes, after you knocked her out. Because, lets face it, she needs someone to lay her out, to put her in her spot. I wouldnt have to stop her from touching you; I know you can do that on your own. Thats the only reason I wasnt jumping in before, you usually wouldnt want me to fight your battles.”

I nodded and slid out of the car. ”All right. I wont wait up. Ill see you in the morning.”

”Wait.” He hopped out of the car and came around the front to me.

I thought he might say something, but he didnt. His hand slid along my face and then behind my head, lips dropping down on mine, taking complete control. My only option was to go along with it as he pushed me back against the car, his body pressed to mine. His other hand came up, cradling the side of my head. His touch, his lips, his tongue created a heat that spread to my fingers and down to my toes. He pulled back with a smile that made me want those lips on me again.

”Wait up for me, okay? Ill try not to be too late?”

I sighed, trying to remember if I should still be angry. His kiss wiped away all thoughts, except the need I had for him. ”Maybe.”

He kissed my cheek before releasing me to stand on my own. ”Maybe.” His smile stretched as if maybe was a certain yes. ”I love you. Ill see you tonight.” He hit the elevator b.u.t.ton as he walked around the car to his driver side.

The doors slid open, and I stepped inside before he drove away.

23: Apologize.

I TURNED UP THE MUSIC AND TURNED down my thoughts. Something that was long overdue. It seemed like forever since Id embraced my solitude instead of fearing it, but fear kept trying to sneak in, and there was nothing in the spa.r.s.e gym in our building that could take it all away. The music couldnt get loud enough, but with enough time, Id made a dent in my anger and had the bliss of relaxed muscles.

The water hitting my skin almost pounded away the rest of my stress. Our shower had great pressure, ma.s.saging my muscles, and I indulged in it until the room was steamy and my skin wrinkly. My cell phone was hooked up to the speakers and music filled the air around me, letting me drown any thoughts that tried to ruin the moment.

I used a b.u.t.tercream on my skin, taking the time to explore any changes. There was maybe a slight b.u.mp, but that could be from my reduced gym time. Somehow this small little thing in me wasnt even large enough to make a physical b.u.mp, but it was wreaking havoc on my emotions, or maybe that was just an excuse.

I wasnt ready to open myself up to thoughts again, so I changed into my pajamas, the ones I knew Gage loved, thin cotton shorts and tank top. I wouldnt wait up for him, but Id let him see what he was missing, what he needed to try harder for. That was easier to say when he wasnt here making me want to try everything for him.

It was almost 11:30, and even though I didnt have cla.s.s to wake up for in the morning, I walked to the kitchen to turn off the music and go to bed. I had to be asleep for my plan to work.

But as I walked down the hall, the front door opened. I couldnt see the entrance, but the thump of boots dropping to the floor, one and then the other, rea.s.sured me that it was Gage. I came around the corner as he hung up his coat.

His lips spread into an easy grin as he looked towards me, eyes burning bright. ”You waited up.”

”You came home early.”

”I wanted to come sooner.” He crossed the distance between us, and his hand slid into my hair as he dropped his head, lips on me, taking my breath, taking my resolve. Mint filled my mouth as his tongue slipped in. He kept walking forward, forcing me to walk back, his other hand dragged up and over my s.h.i.+rt to my shoulders.

I had put my arms up between us, hands on his chest to keep him back, but my fingers curled on his s.h.i.+rt now, gripping him to me. This is what I meant, two seconds with him and all walls crumbled. h.e.l.l, Id knock them over to get to him.

He broke away, still close enough that his minty breath fanned over my lips, warming and cooling at the same time. ”So youre not mad?” The combination of his husky voice and fingers on my skin, grazing my neck, sent chills over me.

He could talk me into anything. I couldnt deny it, but I wanted to know I had the same hold on him, I know I use to. ”I dont know. You need to apologize.”

A sound grew from his chest, erupting in a deep hum. Then his lips were back on me. He pushed me against the wall, and his hands traveled down my body with a pressure that had me on fire, my skin craved that rough touch. His hands slid up my s.h.i.+rt, over and around my breast, weighing them, kneading them.

I rolled my neck back as his tongue slid down me, and he sucked a nipple between his lips. That deep hum of his was back, adding to the sensation. I wrapped my leg around his waist, wanting him pressed between my legs, needing to relieve the throbbing he caused with each swirl of his tongue.

He laughed, low and throaty, as his hands traveled up my thigh and into my shorts. He gripped my a.s.s before reaching around and grazing the front, teasing me with the tip of his fingers.

His lips moved to my ear. ”When do I get an apology?”

The challenge in his eye sparked something I hadnt felt in while. I didnt want to submit to him; tonight he was going to submit to me.

”You dont.” I dropped my leg, and his c.o.c.ky smile disappeared as I pushed him against the hall wall opposite us and covered his mouth with mine. I ran my hands up the inside of his s.h.i.+rt, feeling the ridges of his muscles, and then circled him and dipped down into the back of his jeans. His hands were back at it, running all over me, and I pushed them away. Then I lifted his s.h.i.+rt off of him.

His finger tips went to the bottom of my tank top, trying to remove it the same way, but I grabbed his hands and forced them to the wall. ”No. You dont get to touch. Not yet.”

He didnt understand, I could tell, but the desire on his face made it clear he was willing to play along.

I wasted no time undoing his belt and tossing it to the side. Then I unsnapped his jeans and pulled them down his legs, my body dropping with them. He stepped out of them, and I gripped the elastic of his boxers, sliding them down slow and licking along the way.

”Regan,” he groaned my name as I took the tip of him in my mouth. The muscles in his stomach clenched as I sucked him in deeper. I slid my hands around his thighs, gripping the strong muscles. When his hips started moving with my rhythm, I stopped and stood up.

He was breathless, chest rising and falling, eyes afire as they landed on me. Then his lips covered mine, and his hands tugged me to him, trying to lift my legs around his waist. But I stayed standing. I gripped his hair and took over the kiss as I pulled him to our bedroom.

I pushed him onto our bed and straddled his hips, grinding against him. His hands slid under my s.h.i.+rt, but I removed it before he could. He lifted himself up, arms circling me as his he tried to suck on my nipple. I pushed him back down, only this time he didnt fall back. He gripped me tighter and spun us so I was on my back and he was over me.

”Its my turn,” he demanded, sliding down my body, removing my shorts and underwear. He lifted my leg onto his shoulder as his tongue slid across the slit between them. A searing heat rushed through me, and I quit resisting. Id let him take over for this, especially since he had my body shaking within moments. Uncontrollable spasms rocked my body as he held my hips and sucked and lapped at me. He stayed at it as I dissolved, riding the wave of an o.r.g.a.s.m to completion. Then he was back over me, long length of his body pressing me into the mattress as he slid inside me. Filling me completely.