Part 27 (1/2)

I kept shaking my head, my body going into shock. Painful pinp.r.i.c.ks covered my skin and all my muscles wobbled like Jell-O. This couldnt be my fault. I didnt even know what this all meant, what Rusnak meant. I was f.u.c.king terrified, and he was yelling. My stomach contracted again and I gripped my middle, folding over my hand. ”You didnt. You didnt say anything. You didnt make it to the appointment, and I was worried. I didnt know.”

His chest rose and fell with force, but he stood up, no longer leaning over me. ”Your appointment?” He shook his head, eyes closed for a split second. ”f.u.c.k, I forgot.” His eyes dropped over me, icy as ever, but I wanted to read concern in them as he sighed. ”Youre not supposed to be here. You need to leave. Now.” He gripped my arm and pulled me to standing. There was nothing gentle in the way he tugged on me, he left no room for refusal.

”Ill walk on my own.” I tried to pull away, not able to stand anyones touch. My skin was burned with the memory of Rusnak on me.

”Nows not the time to fight me, not after the s.h.i.+t you just caused.” He pulled me in front of him, pus.h.i.+ng me down the hall to the back exit, forcing me to keep going or be tripped up by him and dragged.

”I didnt do anything. I didnt-”

”Bulls.h.i.+t. Youre here when Ive warned you not to be.” He pushed me out the back door, releasing me into the frigid air I was too far gone to feel. But his breath turned into an icy fog as he yelled, ”For once in your life if youd just f.u.c.king listen.”

”I didnt know he was here.” Thats all I could think. I didnt know. I didnt know.

I. Didnt. Know.

That didnt mean I didnt feel the destruction I had caused though. That didnt make the aftermath any easier to handle. But it didnt seem like Gage cared at all what I knew or didnt know.

The crunch of tires and headlights in the night had me jumping out of my skin, but I recognized the car that pulled up. Sal.

”Get in.” Gage opened the back door for me. ”Go home.”

”We need to talk. Whats going to happen now?” I stepped towards him, wanting him to look at me- to see me. I needed him to talk to me.

His hand went to my back, pus.h.i.+ng me into the car. ”Just get out of here.”

”No.” I attempted to plant my feet where they were, but he pushed harder, nearly picking me up to toss me in the car. Maybe he did pick me up because before I knew it, I was in the backseat, and the door closed in my face. I tried to open it and couldnt, the lock on the inside wouldnt work. I pounded on the window as Gage signaled for Sal to leave just as Ian and Cherry walked out the back, jackets, gloves and hoods pulled, ready to go.

”No.” I leaned forward in my seat to Sal. ”Stop. Stop. I have to talk to him.” I knew I was loosing it, but my panic only mounted as we pulled out of the parking lot. My yells strained as tears filled my throat.

”I have to take you home.” Sal spoke like it was any normal day.

I kicked the back of the seat, it shook as my boot made contact, and then I did the same thing to his seat, over and over. And over.

”Stop now,” he demanded, but didnt turn to face me.

I couldnt pull any of my emotions back in. I was melting down, swirling into chaos. I had no control over anything. Not my emotions, not my husband, not anything in my life. I couldnt even control where I was going right now, and for the life of me, I didnt know how I had gotten here. How I had become the girl no one listened to. How I hadnt even realized, until this moment, just how much I had lost of my life. For Gage. And he only cared if I did what he said, if I followed him without question. He only cared when it was convenient and didnt interfere with his other priorities.

I was full on sobbing, trying to catch my breath.

”Watch out,” Sal yelled, whipping the car to the side.

I looked up in time to see a car stopped in front of us, and then the world was spinning, street lights and night streaking around us. I braced one arm on the seat in front of me and one over my stomach. Then we bounced over a curb, onto the sidewalk, and the car stopped.

We stopped. Still. And we hadnt hit anything.

All my tears had dried up with the shock of our spin out, and relief swelled in me now. But the bright lights flooding into the car, growing brighter at an alarming rate, made me duck down in the seat and I curled into a ball.

”Oh f.u.c.k,” Sals voice was a heavy weight, just as a truck slammed into us at full speed.

The crunching of metal and shattering of gla.s.s was all there was. It sounded like h.e.l.l as the metal twisted and folded around me, over me, through me. It felt even worse, until it didnt. Until the pain burst and there was nothing. Only night. Only silence.

Hands were on me, pulling me out of the car into consciousness and then dropping me.

There was fire. I felt it through me but could only see the road beneath me. Someone lifted me, someone with grey timberlands. He wasnt lifting though; he was rolling me over, with his boot.

I choked, heat searing my lungs as if I was held underwater. Taking a breath had me spitting up. I turned to my side and coughed up blood. My eyes attached to it, refusing to let them roll back in my head. I struggled to push myself up but collapsed on my arm.

Please. Please. Please. All I could think as I struggled for a painful breath. Please.

”Hes not in there,” a voice yelled, cutting through the screeching metal echoing in my bones.

”f.u.c.k. We got to go man, copsll be here soon.”

Timberland crouched down, lifting my head; I had no control over the rest of me. ”Shes still alive.”

”Leave her. We got to go.”

”No. Well make sure the message gets through.”

Pain took my vision as he pulled on my hair.

”Can you hear me?”

I tried to groan, but it came out a splutter.

”Good.” His voice became the burning, the pain everywhere. ”No one interferes with Shadow. Remember that.”

He dropped my head, and I opened my eyes just as his boot connected to my side. My world exploded, shattering into nothing but a blood stained silence.

29: Drained.

I STRUGGLED TO PULL MYSELF OUT OF a nightmare, but it clung to me, pressing me down, leaving me gasping for air. The stinging intake of breath only added fuel to the burn.

Light was behind my eyes. I needed it, and I needed my heavy lids to open. Bright fluorescent lights blinded me. A stark white ceiling stretched across my vision. I blinked against the glare, the confusion, and against the crust that was stuck to my eyes, making them hard to keep open.

I lay still, too afraid to move. Everything hurt too much, but my thoughts were covered in a thick fog, untouchable.

Then Gages face cut across my vision. His red-rimed eyes were pools of tears reflecting the pain I felt. He was an instant relief. My next breath came a little easier, a little less painful, knowing that Id take it with him-that we were together.

”Youre awake.” His hand caressed my face, cold but soft. Barely there. A tear slid down his cheek, rolling onto his lip, trembling in a watery smile.

Focusing on him was easier than focusing on me, on anything else. I could get lost in the depths of his gaze, in the comfort there. I tried to grip his other hand that held mine and flinched at the stiffness in my muscles.