Part 13 (1/2)

”I guess I've taken up enough of your time, Doctor.”

Goldman smiled. ”I hope I was helpful.”

”You were,” she responded. ”I think I needed to hear myself say a few things.”

”To get them off your chest?”

”Yes, you could put it that way.”

”Listen,” he said as he opened his desk drawer, ”if you ever feel that you want to do this again, here's my card.” He handed her the card with the address and phone number of his private office.

Evelyn took the card, appearing appreciative of the gesture. In a more cynical moment she might have suspected him of drumming up business, but no such thought crossed her mind. She trusted him, though she would probably never avail herself of his offer. She had said what she'd come to say, and that was the end of it. She'd harbored no illusions that her confession would ease her remorse, and left Harold Goldman's office feeling much the same as she had upon entering it. Nothing was different, and in her mind nothing ever would be. She simply lacked the strength to change; otherwise, she would have done so years ago.

CHAPTER 19.

Joshua received five years probation from a deal worked out with the DA. A charge of involuntary manslaughter, an explanation to the judge as to what had happened-absent his editorializing-and that was that. His sole lesson from all this was that Rothman was right: n.o.body gave a s.h.i.+t.

It was odd that Jerome and his mother, both of whom were present at the hearing, didn't protest. Odd, but not surprising. Joshua figured Alfred Sims was probably going to take good care of them.

He was home within two days, and had the weekend before returning to school. He wasn't worried what the kids in school might say or think, all he cared about was finding Celeste. Nothing else mattered.

His mother insisted he stay at home until Monday. It was becoming harder for him to defy her, without feeling guilty. He promised himself this would be the last time.

”Joshua, where do you think you're going?” Loretta asked as he walked toward the front door. He didn't answer, for she knew exactly where he was headed, and the determination in his step made it clear that he wasn't going to be stopped. She didn't go after him, didn't yell or say anything else. The only sound that followed her question was the door as it closed.

He got off the elevator, and looked at the stairway leading to the bas.e.m.e.nt. He paused for a second, feeling a surge of anguish. Loretta had told him that Jerome and his mother had moved out just after the funeral, yet he could still hear screams coming from downstairs. He wondered when the screams would stop.

He walked out into the street, knowing precisely where he would begin his search. As he headed towards the old neighborhood, he swore he would find Celeste, bring her home, and personally deliver her to her mother and Jerome, wherever they were. Perhaps that would make amends. He also swore to himself that he would avoid trouble at all costs. He couldn't break his mother's heart again. How he would do all this, however, he hadn't a clue. He would leave it in G.o.d's hands. His first religious moment.

Joshua approached the corner where Big Bob conducted most of his business. Instead of Bones, another thug was standing around, negotiating with the ladies. Joshua didn't recognize him. New blood on the streets. He figured Bones was inside with Big Bob, counting the day's profits.

He walked into the store and over to the cash register. Mr. Powell was listening to the horse races on a small transistor radio.

”Well, well. Looky what we got here,” Powell commented.

”Go right ahead and press that buzzer,” Joshua said, trying to appear undaunted.

Almost immediately, the back door opened and Bones stepped out. He saw Joshua right away. ”I'll be, see here what the cat dragged in,” Bones muttered.

Joshua was silent.

”I hear you been having some problems with the law,” Bones said, giving Powell a laugh. He walked toward Joshua. ”Word is, you killed the girlfriend's old man and got away with it because of that rich Jew your mama works for.”

Joshua was still silent.

Bones stood in Joshua's face. ”I suppose you ain't got that money you owe us, right?”

Joshua backed away.

”So then, I ask myself, 'What the f.u.c.k you doing' here?' I know you ain't looking for work, so you must be looking for your girl.”

”That's right,” Joshua replied.

”Maybe I don't know where she's at anymore.”

”And that depends on...”

”On what you're willing to pay for the information.”

As Joshua had expected, it all came down to money. He also knew that what he already owed Big Bob wouldn't cut it at this point. ”Guess I should be talking to Big Bob,” he said, needling Bones, who wasn't empowered to negotiate.

”Yeah, well, maybe you got that right,” Bones said, his anger showing. ”I'll see if he's available.” He turned and walked toward the back room.

Joshua stood, waiting, staring into s.p.a.ce. Much of his youth had been spent hanging around this store, running errands, doing this and that for Big Bob. He wondered if he would ever truly get away from it. He glanced over at Mr. Powell, who was sitting on a stool behind the counter, still listening to the horses. The old man's expression was impa.s.sive; just another ordinary day in the neighborhood.

Joshua heard the door in the back open as Big Bob emerged.

”So I hear you wanna see me, talk some business?” Big Bob said.

Joshua nodded.

”I hear you ain't found that poor girl yet. Also heard her daddy met with a terrible accident.” Big Bob brandished his sneer.

Joshua wondered why anybody would constantly show off such disgusting teeth, but figured Big Bob relished displaying all his gold, wherever he had it.

”Then you know why I'm here,” Joshua answered.

”Then you know its gonna cost you.”

Joshua looked into Big Bob's eyes, waiting for the terms. The look was to let Big Bob know that he wasn't intimidated any more. And he wasn't. True, Big Bob could hurt him, even kill him, a convenient way to send a message to others about the consequences of disloyalty. But Joshua wasn't scared. He saw Big Bob for the low-down, dirty, slime-ball, pimping, drug dealer he was, a man who probably wouldn't last much longer, before one of his aspiring underlings got too ambitious. It was a liberating realization, one that helped him see himself more clearly. Perhaps there was hope for him yet. But first, there was the matter of Celeste.

”Here's what I'm gonna do for you,” Big Bob said. ”First, I'm not saying I know where the girl is. Let's make that clear from the start.”

Joshua nodded. It wasn't time to argue, it was time for business. Big Bob couldn't be trusted, but that wasn't important. All that mattered was the money, and Joshua knew that if he had it, Big Bob would come up with the girl.

”What I am saying is that I-as you know-have a way of finding things out. But as you also know, these things come at a price.”

Joshua nodded again.

”Now, If I'm correct, you're already into me for...” He stopped to calculate in his mind; this too, Joshua knew, was part of the ritual.

”Fifteen hundred,” Joshua interjected.

”Yes, I believe that's it. But that was a few days ago; now, I guess a fair price would be, about, let's see...” He hesitated again. ”How about, twenty five hundred?”

The question was rhetorical. Twenty five hundred would be the amount, and if Joshua didn't produce it soon, it would increase. His problem was, where was he going to get it?