Volume Ii Part 53 (1/2)
”That is true; if monseigneur wishes, I will go to see if Bahuchet is coming.”
”No, no! Cadedis! I have no desire to be forced to ring another hour, to recall you.--Sandioux! this water is getting cold; my page is making a fool of his master!”
”Perhaps the spots are difficult to remove.”
”I am afraid--I am s.h.i.+vering--I shall take cold.--Go, tell the bath attendant to bring me some hot water.”
In those days, persons who indulged in baths had not at their hand faucets with which to heat or cool the water at pleasure; bath keepers have progressed, like other people; but at that time the attendant brought water in a pail to put in the bath tub.
Plumard went out to perform his master's commission.
”The fire's out,” said the attendant, ”there's no more hot water; your tall, withered master has been in the bath more than an hour, and the best thing he can do is to go away; it will take too long to start up the fire again.”
”Well-managed baths these, on my word! It's evident enough that Master Hugonnet is drinking and that his daughter is away from home!”
And Plumard returned to the chevalier, who was beginning to s.h.i.+ver.
”I regret to announce, monseigneur, that there is no more hot water in the establishment.”
”No more hot water? Cadedis! what does this mean? are they laughing at me?”
”No, my honored master; but the attendant has allowed the fire to go out that heats the water for the baths. Master Hugonnet has been drinking so much with some friends that it is impossible to obtain anything from him!”
”O fair Ambroisine! it is evident that you pa.s.s all your time with a countess! These baths are being managed wretchedly; it will be very hot when I bathe here again!--And that rascally page does not return!--I cannot pa.s.s the whole day in the water, however; it weakens me terribly!”
”If monsieur le chevalier wishes--there must be some second-hand shop hereabout; I could go there and buy a doublet and a pair of breeches!”
”I' faith! you are right; that is what we should have done long ago.--Here, take my purse, which, luckily enough, I did not leave in my short-clothes, and hasten to buy me something to wear--the first things that you see, provided they are decent.”
”Yes, monseigneur.”
”And of some light color--they are most becoming to me. Do not consider the price, but make haste, sandioux! for I am all gooseflesh. Have you my purse?”
”Yes, monseigneur; I fly to the second-hand shop.”
Plumard left the cabinet, and called to the attendant as he pa.s.sed through the shop:
”We will do without your hot water; my master is going to leave the bath.”
”In that case,” said the attendant to himself, as he looked after the esquire, ”it seems that the tall, thin man won't want it any more; if he's going to get out of his bath, I can begin to draw the water out of his tub.”
He went to a room situated directly beneath the men's bathrooms, pressed a spring corresponding to the tub that he proposed to empty, and opened a c.o.c.k through which the water ran out of doors.
As for Master Hugonnet, urged by his friends, and no longer in full possession of his reason, he had left his house, to make himself completely drunk at his favorite wine shop.
Pa.s.sedix sat in his tub, as motionless as a statue, because he knew that the more one moves about, the more quickly the water grows cool. That in his tub had fallen nearly to zero. The poor chevalier turned purple and counted the minutes, saying to himself:
”Capedebious! I trust that my esquire will move more rapidly than my page; I should have left him unrestricted in the matter of colors; he will try to find a pretty shade, and that will delay him.--Well, what does this mean? I have no water on my shoulders! But I had some a moment ago. One would say that my bath was running away! Why, yes--it is not a dream--my water is falling--my breast is dry!--Ah! ten thousand muskets!
this is the climax of our adventures!--Who is the gallows-bird, the villain, the blockhead, that amuses himself emptying my bath tub? It must be that dolt of an attendant! By Roland! the rascal shall pay me for this! In a moment I shall be left high and dry, and all naked! This is horrible! May the devil fly away with my esquire and my page!--Let us ring! let us ring!--Ah! I shall not forget this bath!”