Part 20 (1/2)

”_Judge._--Not that I am aware of. Now go on with your evidence.

”_Witness._--Well, yer honor, as I was about to tell ye, it was on Friday mornin' whin I heard the horn of a fish-cairt in front of my door. Sez I to myself--now Michael has come wid the porgies.

”_Judge_ (impatiently).--Mrs. O'Brien, I--

”_Witness._--Me name's not O'Brien; I'm a married woman, and me name is Flaherty; me name was...o...b..ien when I was a girl.

”_Judge._--Well, then, Mrs. Flaherty, O'Brien, or whatever your name is, I have heard of these porgies and that fish-cart so often that they have grown stale; now tell me what occurred between you and Timothy Mulrooney?

”_Witness._--How do I know but ye'll intherrupt me again before I have said five words?

”_Judge._--You may rest a.s.sured that I will not if you will tell what Tim Mulrooney has done that is contrary to law.

”_Witness._--I could tell ye enough to hang him a half-dozen times, if he had as manny necks as that; (to the prisoner) ye know I could, Tim, ye--

”_Judge_ (perspiringly).--Mrs. O'Flaherty--

”_Witness._--Flaherty, widout the O, yer honor.

”_Judge._--Well, whatever your name is, you must not say anything to the prisoner in this court. Go on now, and if you will tell what he has done I'll not interrupt you.

”_Witness._--Now remember yer promise, ye honor. It was on Friday mornin'--

”_Judge_ (despairingly).--You're at it again. I--

”_Witness._--Howly mother of Moses! I told yer honor how it would be wid ye; here I haven't said more nor five words before yer at yer owld thricks again.

”_Judge_ (much vexed).--What did Timothy do with your fish?

”_Witness._--He didn't do annything wid them that time, barrin' that he saw Michael bring them in the house, and I heard him tell Biddy Mulrooney, his mother, who lives in the next room to me, that he would rather live on praties and bread, as they was a doin', than to ate stinkin' porgies that n.o.body else would buy; I know the Mulrooneys was jealous.

”_Judge._--Did Timothy create any disturbance then?

”_Witness._--No, yer honor, he didn't.

”_Judge._--Then why did you have him arrested?

”_Witness._--It was afther thin that the spalpeen made the disturbance.

”_Judge._--When was that?

”_Witness._--It was yestherday mornin'.

”_Judge._--What did Timothy do?

”_Witness._--It wasn't Tim, but his cat.

”_Judge._--Then it seems that you have entered a charge against Timothy Mulrooney of disorderly conduct, which, by right, you should have made against Timothy Mulrooney's cat, always provided that cats are amenable to munic.i.p.al law.

”_Witness._--By my sowl, yer honor, ye've got it mixed up again. Now why didn't ye wait until I could tell ye.

”_Judge._--Go on; I am reconciled to my fate. As a particular favor, I should like to have you finish within a half hour.