Part 21 (1/2)
”Don't call yourself such an ugly name! It's vile and horribly untrue.”
”Not to your father.”
”He's wrong.”
”But still your father.”
That was inarguable. ”Why the devil do you want to be an English lady?
I haven't asked it of you, and I doubt that Dominic and Meriel did.”
”I've spent too much of my life being despised for being different,” she whispered. ”I thought that in Britain I could blend in better. But I'm just as foreign here as I was in China.”
He took her hand between both of his. ”Some people hate anyone who is different from them. Others are charmed and fascinated by such differences.
Which people would you prefer to have as your friends?”
She gave a surprised little hiccup. ”I... I never thought of it that way.”
”Understandable, given that you've spent much of your life feeling like an outsider. I won't lie to you, Troth. Anywhere you go in Britain, you'll attract attention because you look different. But given a chance, most Britons are fairly tolerant. Wherever you choose to live, you can cultivate a circle of friends who will love you for the rare and appealing woman that you are.”
”You make it sound easy.”
”Not easy, perhaps, but not impossible, either.” His hand tightened around hers. ”Return to Dornleigh and we'll find a way for you to gain your freedom without ruining your reputation.”
Her mouth curled. ”Dornleigh was designed by the devil to oppress spirits.”
”Then change it. You told me about... feng shui, was it? The art of harmonious placement. You have my permission to make Dornleigh into a happier place. In fact, I'll be delighted at any improvements you make, since I'm facing a life sentence there.”
”I doubt that Lord Wrexham would approve of my altering his home.”
”He will grant permission-I guarantee it. He's also decided it's time to go to London and the House of Lords. He'll leave the day after the reception.”
She gnawed on her lower lip, intrigued, then shook her head. ”What's the point? The sooner I leave, the sooner any scandal will die down. If I go to Scotland under my own name, who will know or care that I was temporarily Lady Maxwell? ”
He didn't want her to leave. But his selfish desire wasn't a good enough reason to ask her to stay. ”I think I've found a way for us to separate without scandal. No one except my closest family knows exactly what happened between us in that cell, and they won't discuss our private business with outsiders. We pledged ourselves with a very old form of wedding ceremony, but there is another Scottish custom called a handfast.”
”A handfast?”
”It's a trial marriage to determine if two people will suit. At the end of a year and a day, they may go their separate ways if one or both partners chooses.”
”What if there is a baby?”
”The father is liable for the child's support. Often the couple decide to contract a permanent union, but if they don't, they can separate with no stigma attached and find new mates later.”
”The Scots have odd marriage customs,” she said dryly. ”How does that help us?”
”We can say that I wanted to help you leave China, so I made you Lady Maxwell by handfast. At the end of a year and a day, you're free to go. In the meantime, it explains why you've been introduced as Lady Maxwell- for now it's true. We haven't been... cohabiting, so it should be easy enough to say that we simply contracted a temporary marriage of convenience to help you.”
She glanced askance when he mentioned cohabitation, but said only, ”You have a devious mind, Lord Maxwell.''
”Thank you.”
Her mouth curved. ”That wasn't a compliment.”
”It's been a hard year. I'll take compliments where I find them.” Glad to see her with a suggestion of a smile, he rose and helped her from the floor. ”This version of events may not be literally true, but it's close enough to the spirit of what happened, and it provides an explanation that doesn't injure your reputation.”
”I'm not important enough to have a reputation, but handfasting does sound more respectable than a false marriage.”
”Does this mean you'll return to Dornleigh until the year and a day have pa.s.sed?” That would give him more of her company. ”Think of the pleasure you'll have turning that mausoleum upside down and making it more livable.”
Her eyes narrowed with calculation. ”I suppose I can bear it that long. During that time, will you take me to Scotland? It will be easier if you are with me.”
If she wanted to seek her father's relatives, Lady Maxwell would be received more courteously than plain Miss Montgomery. ”It will be my pleasure, though we should wait a few weeks until the weather improves. While we're there, I'd like to take you to our house in the Highlands. Staying at Kinnockburn will teach you as much about Scotland as your father's stories.”
”If I return, it won't be as a decorous English lady.” she warned. ”I've spent most of my life pretending to be something I'm not, and I'm weary unto death of pretense.”
”I understand. I had to travel halfway around the world to find out who I was. You've also come halfway around the world, so perhaps Dornleigh is a good place for you to discover the nature of your true self.” His clasp tightened on the hand he was still holding. ”But please-promise me you'll never try to injure yourself again.”
She smiled crookedly. ”I would have turned the knife away at the last moment, but I had to do something to show how... how vast my rage was.”
”You succeeded. I probably have gray hairs now,” he said. ”Though I've never had Dominic's charm, neither have I ever driven a woman to attempt suicide to get away from me. Very bad for my amour propre.”
”You think your brother more charming?”
”Definitely-he has a much easier disposition. I've more of my father's stiffness. I'll try to do better.”
”A wise resolution.” She gave him a cat-eyed glance. ”The house is not the only thing in need of improvement.”
She swept from the room, leaving him to collect her carpetbags. Her manner had changed from demure and near-invisible to something grander and far more unpredictable. He wondered what she would be like now that she had stopped trying to be what others expected of her.
He suspected that she would be even more entrancing than she was now.
Chapter 34.
There was much to be said for abandoning hope, Troth decided after she returned to Dornleigh. Looking back, she recognized that she'd been cheris.h.i.+ng secret hopes that Kyle would decide that he loved her and wanted her to be his wife for always if she tried hard enough, was respectable and obliging.
Her delusions had been ripped away when it became obvious that he'd never once considered the possibility of remaining married. He liked her, he wished her well, he had a sense of obligation to her-but he didn't see her as his wife. At least, unlike his father, he hadn't made his decision from bigotry.
How lucky Constancia had been to be loved by a man with such a faithful heart.
Instead of hope, Troth had a fierce and lonely freedom. Except for Kyle, she no longer cared what any of these people thought of her, for soon she would be gone. Wrexham she greeted with a cool nod, no longer bothering to be deferential, since she'd been judged and found wanting for reasons over which she had no control.
His glance slid away; he seemed ashamed of what he'd said to his son, but he made no attempt to apologize. She doubted he knew how. She rather admired his total lack of hypocrisy. He despised her and thought she would ruin his son's life, and that was that. Very straightforward.
How nice that he was going to London. She'd be sure to be gone by the time he returned. That would make both of them happy.