Volume I Part 35 (2/2)
In either case, an equal chance is run; For, keep or turn him out, my lord's undone.
You want a hand to clear a filthy sink; No cleanly workman can endure the stink.
A strong dilemma in a desperate case!
To act with infamy, or quit the place.
A bungler thus, who scarce the nail can hit, With driving wrong will make the panel split: Nor dares an abler workman undertake To drive a second, lest the whole should break.
In every court the parallel will hold; And kings, like private folks, are bought and sold.
The ruling rogue, who dreads to be cashler'd, Contrives, as he is hated, to be fear'd; Confounds accounts, perplexes all affairs: For vengeance more embroils, than skill repairs.
So robbers, (and their ends are just the same,) To 'scape inquiries, leave the house in flame.
I knew a brazen minister of state,[12]
Who bore for twice ten years the public hate.
In every mouth the question most in vogue Was, when will they turn out this odious rogue?
A juncture happen'd in his highest pride: While he went robbing on, his master died.[13]
We thought there now remain'd no room to doubt; The work is done, the minister must out.
The court invited more than one or two: Will you, Sir Spencer?[14] or will you, or you?
But not a soul his office durst accept; The subtle knave had all the plunder swept: And, such was then the temper of the times, He owed his preservation to his crimes.
The candidates observed his dirty paws; Nor found it difficult to guess the cause: But, when they smelt such foul corruptions round him, Away they fled, and left him as they found him.
Thus, when a greedy sloven once has thrown His snot into the mess, 'tis all his own.
[Footnote 1: The Dean having been told by an intimate friend that the Duke of Queensberry had employed Mr. Gay to inspect the accounts and management of his grace's receivers and stewards (which, however, proved to be a mistake), wrote this Epistle to his friend.--_H_. Through the whole piece, under the pretext of instructing Gay in his duty as the duke's auditor of accounts, he satirizes the conduct of Sir Robert Walpole, then Prime Minister.--_Scott_.]
[Footnote 2: See the ”Libel on Dr. Delany and Lord Carteret,” _post_.]
[Footnote 3: The Countess of Suffolk.--_H._]
[Footnote 4: Sir Robert Walpole.--_Faulkner_.]
[Footnote 5: The post of gentleman-usher to the Princess Louisa was offered to Gay, which he and his friends considered as a great indignity, her royal highness being a mere infant.--_Scott_.]
[Footnote 6: The Duke and d.u.c.h.ess of Queensberry.]
[Footnote 7: A t.i.tle given to every duke by the heralds.--_Faulkner_.]
[Footnote 8: Counting the numbers of a division. A horse dealer's term.--_W. E. B._]
[Footnote 9: Alluding to the magnificence of Houghton, the seat of Sir Robert Walpole, by which he greatly impaired his fortune.
”What brought Sir Visto's ill-got wealth to waste?
Some Demon whispered, 'Visto! have a Taste.'”
POPE, _Moral Essays_, Epist. iv.--_W. E. B._]
[Footnote 10: These lines are thought to allude to some story concerning a vast quant.i.ty of mahogany declared rotten, and then applied by somebody to wainscots, stairs, door-cases, etc.--_Dublin edition_.]
[Footnote 11: He hath practised this trade for many years, and still continues it with success; and after he hath ruined one lord, is earnestly solicited to take another.--_Dublin edition_.
Properly Walter, a dexterous and unscrupulous attorney.
”Wise Peter sees the world's respect for gold, And therefore hopes this nation may be sold.”
POPE, _Moral Essays_, Epist. iii.
And see his character fully displayed in Sir Chas. Hanbury Williams'
poem, ”Peter and my Lord Quidam,” Works, with notes, edit. 1822. Peter was the original of Peter Pounce in Fielding's ”Joseph Andrews.”--_W. E. B._]
[Footnote 12: Sir Robert Walpole, who was called Sir Robert Bra.s.s.]
[Footnote 13: King George I, who died on the 12th June, 1727.--_W. E. B._]
[Footnote 14: Sir Spencer Compton, Speaker of the House of Commons, afterwards created Earl of Wilmington. George II, on his accession to the throne, intended that Compton should be Prime Minister, but Walpole, through the influence of the queen, retained his place, Compton having confessed ”his incapacity to undertake so arduous a task.” As Lord Wilmington, he is constantly ridiculed by Sir Chas. Hanbury Williams.
See his Works, with notes by Horace Walpole, edit. 1822.--_W. E. B._]
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