Book 5 - Page 128 (1/2)

“No, don’t,” I said, hating that he’d pulled away. Hating that I’d put that look of hurt on his face. “Look, I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t expect it, but I’m glad ….”

He pulled me into a firm embrace. “Then learn to expect it,” he said gruffly. “Because I’m not backing off this time, Gideon. We’re family. Maybe now we can start to think about what that means to all of us. You and me. Your mother, Christopher, and Ireland.”

Head bowed against his shoulder, I fought for some measure of composure. I was tired. Weary to my bones. My brain wasn’t processing anything well. That had to be why I felt … f.u.c.k. I didn’t know what I felt.

Eva’s father and Cary were devastated. Stanton … I couldn’t even begin to imagine how shattered he must be. Whatever I was feeling didn’t matter much in comparison.

Stressed, my mind straying, I spoke without thinking. “Christopher would need a complete personality transplant to ever be family to me.”

Chris stiffened and pulled away. “I know you and Christopher don’t get along, but—”

“Through no fault of mine. Let’s be clear about that.” I tried to fight the question, tried to swallow it back unsaid. “Has he ever discussed with you why he hates me?”

For f.u.c.k’s sake. Why? Why did I have to ask? It shouldn’t matter. Not after all these d.a.m.n years.

Chris pulled away, shaking his head. “He doesn’t hate you, Gideon.”

I straightened, willing myself not to shake—from exhaustion or emotion, I couldn’t tell. The past was behind me. I’d left it back there, shoved in a box where it belonged. I had Eva now—

d.a.m.n it. I hoped I still had Eva.

My wife had never pushed me to deal with Christopher, as she had with the rest of my family. My brother had gone too far in her eyes, used Magdalene too callously, which Cary had caught on video. Maybe Eva wouldn’t care if I resolved my relations.h.i.+p with Christopher ….

But maybe she’d be proud of me for trying.

And if she was, if it proved to her that I was different, that I’d changed in the way she needed me to … Son of a b.i.t.c.h. I had just backtracked on all the progress we’d made by not telling her about Monica’s death the moment I knew. If mending things with my family now would somehow help her forgive me for the lie I’d told, then it was worth whatever it cost me to make the effort.

I forced my hands to relax. When I spoke, my voice was low and even. “I need to show you something.”