Part 3 (1/2)

”Messing with your mind,” Ca.s.sie agreed.

8Jerking you around,”; Tobias said.

”Trying to baffle you with ... oh, never mind,”

Prince Jake said. ”The point is, you have two questions: How did Visser Three acquire this bird? And why did he morph it to attack you?”

”That's not the real question, though,” Ca.s.sie said.

”The real question is what are we going to do about this Hewlett Aldershot the Third?”

Marco stuck up his hand. ”Get him to change his name?”

”You know, it's a pretty good plan Visser Three has,” Prince Jake pointed out. ”He acquires our man Hewlett Aldershot the Third, then he walks into work at the Secret Service offices, punches up anything he wants on the computer, sits in on secret conferences, and ends up knowing everything the Secret Service knows.”

8What does the Secret Service know?”; I asked.

”A lot,” Marco said.

8Ah.”; ”It's not just what he can find out, it's who he can talk to and get access to,” Rachel said.

”He can find out if any information about Yeerk activities ever gets to--”

”Whoa!” Marco shot straight up on his two wobbly legs. I can never get past thinking humans will topple over when they do that.

”What whoa?” Prince Jake asked mildly.

”Whoa, as in whoa, Rachel is right. H.a.

Third can talk to anyone, right? He can talk to his boss, right? So, if he was to walk in and say, ”Boss, guess what? Parasite slugs from outer s.p.a.ce are invading Earth!”

Well, okay, they'd throw him in the nuthouse.

But if he was to walk in and say, ”Parasite slugs from outer s.p.a.ce are invading Earth, and guess what, I can turn into a rhinoceros,” and then he actually did turn into a rhinoceros ... well. Suddenly, boom! The secret is out. The Yeerks are screwed.”

”Unless his boss is a Controller,” Rachel said.

”If she were a Controller, why would Visser Three be bothering with H.a. Third?” Ca.s.sie pointed out. But then she turned to Marco. ”What exactly are you thinking? Are you talking about morphing Mr. Aldershot?”

”Duh. Yeah.”

”We don't do that,” Ca.s.sie said. ”I thought we decided we don't do that. We don't morph humans.”

8I morphed Prince Jake,”; I said.

I was excited by Marco's idea. But there are times when my human friends are reluctant to do whatever it takes to hurt the Yeerks. Sometimes so am I.

8And Ca.s.sie morphed Rachel that time,”; Tobias said.

”First of all, Ax, you're not a human, so maybe it's okay if you morph Jake. Besides, Jake would have given his permission if he hadn't been infested with a Yeerk. And Rachel did give me her permission,” Ca.s.sie said.

”Excuse me,” Marco said with an edge of sarcasm in his voice. ”Our man H.a.

Third can't give permission. He's a vegetable. He's a carrot. He's a cabbage. He's a tomato.”

”I thought tomatoes were fruit,” Rachel interrupted, trying to provoke Marco.

”It's called a ”persistent vegetative state,” thanks so much for your sensitivity, Marco,” Ca.s.sie said. ”But we don't know if Mr. Aldershot is that bad off. He could just be in a coma. We don't have the right to go stealing his DNA.”.

”The man is a brussels sprout,” Marco said.

”We'd never get in there, anyway,” Prince Jake said. ”Visser Three knows we know. We have to be in human form to ”acquire”

Aldershot's DNA. You think we could do that with Visser Three on guard? Not likely.”

Everyone looked downcast. Prince Jake was correct.

But then Ca.s.sie said, ”Oh, man.”

”What?” Marco demanded.

Ca.s.sie sighed. ”I'm totally against this. But ...”.

”But? But? But what?”

Ca.s.sie turned to me. ”Ax, is it possible to acquire DNA from blood alone?”

8allyes. It should be.”; ”Blood?” Rachel made a face.

”We're gonna get this guy's blood? Not me, my friend. Hepat.i.tis, HIV, uh-uh.”

8Diseases cannot be transmitted during acquiring,”; I said quickly. 8The acquiring process absorbs only DNA, and that DNA is isolated, encapsulated within your own bloodstream in a super-low temperature--and thus very stable--naltron molecule sphere. You see--”; ”I think my brain just fell asleep,”

Marco interrupted. ”So, okay, the blood is safe for us. So, Ca.s.sie, how do we get it?”

Ca.s.sie explained.

All the other humans, even Tobias, said ”gross.” They said ”gross” very loudly and repeatedly.

I've learned something from my time with humans.

When they say something is gross, they are almost always right.

CHAPTER 8.

”So how do I acquire it without it acquiring me at the same time?” Prince Jake asked nervously.