Chapter 298 The Desire to Receive Her Feelings (2/2)
However, I’m not particularly worried about Alice’s words, as I’m more worried about her earlier words about how she was going to disappear.
When I explained this to Alice, she let out a sigh of relief and continued with her story.
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[……As I said, at first, I treated Kaito-san as a substitute for my best friend. However, as I exchanged words with Kaito-san many times, the image of my best friend overlapping with Kaito-san’s image began to blur…… it’s more of a good way though. I was having fun being together with Kaito-san, not because Kaito-san is a replacement for my friend, but because the one I’m together with is Kaito-san…… Yes, I began to think like that.]
[……………….]
[However, this “Alice” character is a persona who would betray Kaito-san in the end and disappear. I was wondering if Kaito-san will lose your faith in others…… That was my fourth trial. Of course, I had my subordinates lurking in that place of abduction to prevent Kaito-san from being injured. And once Kaito-san had survived that trial, I had planned on having our connection remain as being your subordinate, not as Alice, but as the Phantasmal King, No Face.]
[……However, Alice saved me at that time.]
[……Yes. That was the biggest miscalculation I made…… and a miracle that I’m really happy about.]
Alice’s expression when she said that somehow looked gentle, and with a wry smile…… It seemed to show her trust in me, and it kinda makes me feel warm.
It’s almost as if Alice was saying that what she was looking for was someone laughable like this……
[At that time, I betrayed you as planned, and as I said goodbye…… Kaito-san smiled at me, right? You understand that I betrayed you, but still, you thought it couldn’t be helped…… When I saw that smile, my best friend and Kaito-san became completely separate entities in my mind. I thought that this person was the only one who couldn’t be replaced by anyone else……]
[…………………..]
[Before I knew it, I found myself breaking down the door that I was supposed to have closed. I advanced on the stage that I once got off. Not as Shalltear, not as No Face, but as “Alice” who was supposed to have disappeared…… From that moment on, Alice isn’t just a character I play…… but a new name for me.]
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From a girl to a hero, from a hero to a piece of illusion, from a piece of illusion to a faceless king, and from a faceless king…… she changed to this girl in front of me, to Alice I know well.
Hearing that…… I wonder why? I felt relieved. Now, I understand that the Alice in front of me isn’t an illusion, but Alice herself……
[……And that’s why I fell in love with you, Kaito-san…… but shameful it may sound, I suddenly felt scared.]
[Scared?]
[Yes. I thought that if Kaito-san knew about how I’ve been treating you as a replacement for my best friend, you would hate me…… No, more than that thought, this affection I feel for Kaito-san…… I began to wonder, “Did I really love Kaito-san”? Perhaps, was this feelings of mine just because I found the right person to fulfill my best friend’s wish……? I’ve been wondering, what my true wish is……]
[……………..]
I see, within Alice’s mind was her best friend’s wish to fall in love.
Whether it was because she fell in love with me, that her wish will come true…… or was it because she was trying to make her best friend’s wish come true, and that’s why she fell in love with me…… Perhaps, that was what she was worried about.
That’s why she would joke about how much she loved me, and then run away when I ride along with it……
[……The moment that God appeared, and thought that Kaito-san might die…… I was helplessly terrified. If Kaito-san died, I don’t think I would ever be able to stand up again, I don’t think I would be able to laugh again…… Because I understood that myself, ummm…… That’s why I acted a bit strange at that time.]
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[…………………]
[I’m sorry that I got off on a tangent. I was afraid that you might just feel indebted. I was afraid that our relationship that fills me with happiness will change. I’ve made various excuses. But in the end, I was just a coward…… I couldn’t tell Kaito-san about myself.]
Breaking her words and closing her eyes once…… Alice looks straight at me and finishes her words.
[……That’s the end of my story. No matter how Kaito-san receives it…… I’m ready for it. It’s okay if you think I’m pathetic or cruel. If you were to hate me, it can’t be hel…… Eh?]
Why would I do that? I’m not really sure but…… I found myself getting up from my seat and holding Alice’s small body in my embrace.
I still haven’t finished sorting through everything I’ve just heard in my head. I don’t think I can properly say what I’m feeling either.
But even so, I had an overflowing desire to tell her something.
[……Thank you, Alice. Even though talking about it may be difficult…… but you still told me everything.]
[……Kaito…… -san?]
[I don’t know if I could say it well…… Can you stay a little bit longer and listen to me too?]
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[……Yes…… No matter what it is…… To be honest, I’m about to cry already though……]
Dear Mom, Dad——– The thoughts and pain that Alice was carrying with her small body…… The words I would reply after hearing these. There is no need to adorn it with unnecessary words, the most important thing is that budding within me————- is the desire to receive her feelings.
Serious-senpai: [D*mn her, that freaking stuffed costume woman…… How dare she barricade my door…… C- Come, my serious development! ……Eh? It’s over for the meantime? The next chapters will be filled with vomit-inducing sweetness? Eh? E- Ehhhhh!?]
T/N: 28/196