Part 31 (2/2)
”Senora,” said the alferez furiously. ”Thank yourself that I don't forget that you are a woman; for if you were not, I would kick you to pieces, with all your curls and ribbons.”
”Se--se--senor al--alferez!” said Don Tiburcio.
”Go ahead! Kill us! You don't wear big enough trousers, you quack.”
And so the battle waged: words, gestures, cries, insults, and injuries. They brought out all the nasty things they could think of, all four speaking at the same time, and, saying so many things and bringing to light so many truths, that we will not relate here all that was said. The people who had gathered around to satisfy their curiosity, if they understood all the remarks, must have enjoyed themselves not a little. They were all waiting to see them come to blows. Unfortunately for the spectators, the curate came along and pacified them.
”Senoras! senoras! What a shame. Senor alferez.”
”What are you meddling in these matters for, you hypocrite, you Carlist?”
”Don Tiburcio, take away your wife! Senora, hold your tongue!”
”Tell that to those robbers of the poor!”
Finally, the dictionary of epithets was exhausted. The review of the disgraces of each couple was ended, and little by little they were separated, threatening and insulting each other. Father Salvi kept going from one side to the other, adding life to the scene.
”This very day we will go to Manila and we will present ourselves to the Governor General,” said Dona Victorina, in fury to her husband. ”You are not a man. It is a shame that you spend money for trousers.”
”B--b--but, wife, and the Guardia Civil? I--I--am lame.”
”You must challenge him to a duel with pistol or sword or, or----”
And Dona Victorina looked at his false teeth.
”Daughter, I never have used----”
Dona Victorina did not let him finish. With a sublime movement she jerked out his false teeth in the middle of the street, and throwing them to the ground stepped on them. He, half crying, and she sputtering away, arrived at the house. At that time, Linares was talking with Maria Clara, Sinang, and Victoria, and, as he knew nothing about the quarrel, the sudden arrival of his cousins gave him a shock. Maria Clara was lying on a sofa among pillows and blankets, and was not a little surprised at the doctor's new physiognomy.
”Cousin,” said Dona Victorina, ”you have got to challenge the alferez immediately to a duel, or----”
”And why? what for?” asked Linares, surprised.
”You challenge him right off, or I will tell them all who you are.”
”But, Dona Victorina!”
The three young women looked at one another.
”The alferez has insulted us. The old witch came down with her whip, and that thing there allowed it all. A man!”
”Pshaw!” said Sinang. ”They have been fighting and we haven't seen it.”
”The alferez has broken the doctor's teeth,” added Victoria.
”This very day we are going to Manila. You stay here to challenge him to a duel, and, if you don't, I'll tell Don Santiago that all that you have told him is a lie. I will tell him----”
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