Part 3 (1/2)

--And yet sometimes I think you played it hard Upon a rather hopeful minor bard.

NUGAE OXONIENSES.

TWILIGHT.

By W--ll--m C--wp--r.

'Tis evening. See with its resorting throng Rude Carfax teems, and waistcoats, visited With too-familiar elbow, swell the curse Vortiginous. The boating man returns, His rawness growing with experience-- Strange union! and directs the optic gla.s.s Not unresponsive to Jemima's charms, Who wheels obdurate, in his mimic chaise Perambulant, the child. The gouty cit, Asthmatical, with elevated cane Pursues the unregarding tram, as one Who, having heard a hurdy-gurdy, girds His loins and hunts the hurdy-gurdy-man, Blaspheming. Now the clangorous bell proclaims The _Times or Chronicle_, and Rauca screams The latest horrid murder in the ear Of nervous dons expectant of the urn And mild domestic m.u.f.fin.

To the Parks Drags the slow Ladies' School, consuming time In pa.s.sing given points. Here glow the lamps, And tea-spoons clatter to the cosy hum Of scientific circles. Here resounds The football-field with its discordant train, The crowd that cheers but not discriminates, As ever into touch the ball returns And shrieks the whistle, while the game proceeds With fine irregularity well worth The paltry s.h.i.+lling.-- Draw the curtains close While I resume the night-cap dear to all Familiar with my ill.u.s.trated works.

WILLALOO.

By E. A. P.

In the sad and sodden street, To and fro, Flit the fever-stricken feet Of the freshers as they meet, Come and go, Ever buying, buying, buying Where the shopmen stand supplying, Vying, vying All they know, While the Autumn lies a-dying Sad and low As the price of summer suitings when the winter breezes blow, Of the summer, summer suitings that are standing in a row On the way to Jericho.

See the freshers as they row To and fro, Up and down the Lower River for an afternoon or so-- (For the deft manipulation Of the never-resting oar, Though it lead to approbation, Will induce excoriation)-- They are infinitely sore, Keeping time, time, time In a sort of Runic rhyme Up and down the way to Iffley in an afternoon or so; (Which is slow).

Do they blow?

'Tis the wind and nothing more, 'Tis the wind that in Vacation has a tendency to go: But the coach's objurgation and his tendency to 'score'

Will be sated--nevermore.

See the freshers in the street, The _elite_!

Their apparel how unquestionably neat!

How delighted at a distance, Inexpensively attired, I have wondered with persistence At their b.u.t.terfly existence!

How admired!

And the payment--O, the payment!

It is tardy for the raiment: Yet the haberdasher gloats as he sells, And he tells, 'This is best To be dress'd Rather better than the rest, To be noticeably drest, To be swells, To be swells, swells, swells, swells, Swells, swells, swells, To be simply and indisputably swells.'

See the freshers one or two, Just a few, Now on view, Who are sensibly and innocently new; How they cl.u.s.ter, cl.u.s.ter, cl.u.s.ter Round the rugged walls of Worcester!

See them stand, Book in hand, In the garden ground of John's!

How they dote upon their Dons!

See in every man a Blue!

It is true They are lamentably few; But I spied Yesternight upon the staircase just a pair of boots outside Upon the floor, Just a little pair of boots upon the stairs where I reside, Lying there and nothing more; And I swore While these dainty twins continued sentry by the chamber door That the hope their presence planted should be with me evermore, Should desert me--nevermore.

THE SAIR STROKE.

_O waly, waly, my bonnie crew Gin ye maun b.u.mpit be!