Part 4 (1/2)

Priest and Physician thou didst save From Gallows, Fire, and from the Grave, For which we can't endure thee; The one can ne'er absolve thy Sins, And th'other (tho' he now begins) Of Knav'ry ne'er can cure thee.

But lest we all shou'd end his Life, And with a keen-whet Chopping-Knife In a Thousand pieces cleave him, Let the Parliament first him undertake, They'll make the Rascal stink at stake, And so, like a Knave, let's leave him.

[Footnote 6: By an old law, butchers and surgeons were unable to serve on juries.]

THE BRAWNY BISHOP'S COMPLAINT.

TO THE TUNE OF ”PACKINGTON'S POUND.”

I.

When B----t [7] perceiv'd the beautiful Dames, Who flock'd to the Chapel of Holy St. _James_, On their Lovers the kindest Looks did bestow, And smil'd not on him while he bellow'd below, To the Princess he went With Pious intent This dangerous Ill in the Church to prevent: ”O Madam!” quoth he, ”our Religion is lost If the Ladies thus ogle the Knights of the Toast.

II.

”Your Highness observes how I labour and sweat Their Affections to raise, and new Flames to beget; And sure when I preach all the World, will agree That their Ears and their Eyes should be pointed on me: But now I can't find One Beauty so kind As my Parts to regard, or my Presence to mind; Nay, I scarce have a sight of any one Face But those of old _Oxford_ and ugly Arglas.

III.

”These sorrowful Matrons, with Hearts full of Truth, Repent for the manifold Sins of their Youth: The rest with their Tattle my Harmony spoil; And Bur--ton, An--sey, K--gston, and B--le [8]

Their Minds entertain With thoughts so profane 'Tis a mercy to find that at Church they contain; Ev'n Hen--ham's [9] Shapes their weak Fancies intice, And rather than me they will ogle the Vice. [10]

IV.

”These Practices, Madam, my Preaching disgrace; Shall Laymen enjoy the just Rights of my Place?

Then all may lament my Condition for hard, To thresh in the Pulpit without a Reward.

Then pray condescend Such Disorders to end, And from their ripe Vineyards such Labourers send; Or build up the Seats, that the Beauties may see The Face of no brawny Pretender but me.”

V.

The Princess, by rude Importunities press'd, Tho' she laugh'd at his Reasons, allow'd his request; And now _Britain's_ Nymphs in a Protestant Reign Are locked up at Pray'rs like the Virgins in Spain, And all are undone As sure as a Gun: Whenever a Woman is kept like a Nun; If any kind Man from Bondage will save her, The La.s.s in Grat.i.tude grants him the Favour.

[Footnote 7: Gilbert Burnet, Bishop of Salisbury, who in 1674 was preacher at the Rolls Chapel.]

[Footnote 8: Burlington, Anglesey, Kingston, and Boyle.]

[Footnote 9: Heningham.]

[Footnote 10: The Vice-Chamberlain.]

THE POOR BLIND BOY.

BY COLLY GIBBER, 1749.

Oh, say! what is that thing call'd _light_, Which I can ne'er enjoy?