Part 31 (1/2)
Sarah's eyes were focused mainly on Daniel. He wore a dark suit and a look of torment. She wanted so badly to make all this better for him, but she couldn't. Daniel had to find his own kind of peace.
It was a closed casket and the service was short. They waited until everyone had spoken to the Garretts then they made their way to the front. Muriel's tear-filled eyes grew big when she saw Sarah and Serena together. They both wore dark suits and their red hair was up.
”Oh, my, Aurora,” Muriel said. ”What beautiful granddaughters you have.”
”I think so,” Gran answered, hugging Muriel and offering some consoling words.
Muriel dabbed at her tears. ”I'm afraid I don't know which one is Sarah.”
”I am,” Sarah said, also hugging Muriel, then Serena and Ethan followed.
When Sarah reached Daniel, he took her elbow and led her to a small alcove.
”How are you?” she asked, her heart in her eyes, wanting to hold him so bad her arms ached.
”Trying to be strong for my parents,” he said, fighting back tears.
She stroked his arm. ”It's okay to hurt and it's okay to cry.”
”Men don't cry, Sarah.”
Then what is that I see in your eyes? But he was trying to be the strong one in his family when he didn't have any strength left.
He took a long breath. ”I wanted to let you know that my parents are leaving in the morning for France and I'm going with them. I hadn't planned to, but I feel I need to be with them.”
Ask me to go. Just ask.
But again he didn't.
”Please understand that I have to go. I can't stay here.”
”I understand, Daniel,” she said. ”Just try to find a way to forgive yourself.”
He frowned. ”What?”
”That's your problem. You can't forgive yourself for what happened to Drew.”
”Yeah.” He blinked. ”I hear what you're saying yet I feel as if I'm floating, detached from everything. I'm not anch.o.r.ed and I can't get beyond that feeling.”
She reached for his hands and held them in front of her. ”That's normal. It takes time.”
”Everyone keeps saying that.”
”Because it's true.” She kissed his knuckles. ”When you're thinking of Drew in the days ahead, think of his responses to everything you did for him and I think you'll find that Drew was never very honest with you.”
He said nothing.
”You once told me that your major fault was that you wanted to help everyone. Sometimes that's not possible.”
They stared at each other for endless seconds then Daniel softly kissed her cheek and walked away.
She held her hand to the spot he'd touched with his lips. She didn't know if they'd ever have happy memories again but she prayed that wherever Daniel went that he'd find the peace he was looking for. Most of all, she prayed he'd find his way back to her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.
THE DAYS STRETCHED painfully for Daniel. He tried to fit in with his parents' friends in Paris and found he couldn't. He didn't want to socialize-he wanted to be alone. Yvette didn't understand. She was in her late twenties and she liked to party. Their parents had gone out for the evening and Daniel sat on the terrace nursing a gla.s.s of wine.
Yvette pulled up a chair close to his. ”Daniel.” He liked her accent. Sometimes it was soothing. ”I know a really nice nightclub. We can make a night of it.” She wiggled in her chair. ”I feel like dancing.”
”Sorry, Yvette. I'm not really in the mood.”
Her eyes grew dark. ”What is it? Am I not attractive enough?”
”You're very attractive,” he told her.
”Then why do you keep pus.h.i.+ng me away?”
He glanced at her blond hair and blue eyes and all he could see was Sarah.
”Why, Daniel?” she persisted.
”Your hair's not red,” he said.
She frowned. ”Is that American slang for something?”
”No. It's the truth.”
She scooted closer. ”So you like redheads?”
He took a sip of wine. ”One particular redhead.”
”Your mother didn't say you had a girlfriend.” She pouted.
”My mother doesn't know a whole lot about me.”
She stood and flounced to the door. ”I'm going to the club. You can drink your wine and think about your redhead.”
The door slammed loudly and he took another sip. He wouldn't think about Sarah. He was still floating, lost in a maelstrom of pain, yet he could see her beautiful face and that saved him.
The next day Daniel left his parents in Paris and flew to Spain. He had a friend, Diego Valdez, who lived in Madrid. They'd been in boarding school together and had stayed in touch. Diego was a businessman with a wife and three kids. They were very hospitable, but Daniel felt in the way and soon left. He spent a week in London just walking. It seemed to always be raining, but he didn't mind the rain. How he wound up in Mexico City he wasn't sure.
He met a guy in a bar who was going to work on a big cattle ranch. He said the rancher was still hiring so Daniel went, too, and worked until he was exhausted. He rode a horse until his b.u.t.t and legs were numb, but that didn't bother him. He welcomed the physical activity. In the evenings, the cowhands frequented a local cantina. Daniel went along because he wanted a beer. He spoke some Spanish so he was able to converse with the locals.
A young girl not more than eighteen sidled up to him at the bar. ”I speak English,” she said with pride.
”That's nice,” he responded.