Part 12 (1/2)

I wondered-if she was the President of the United States, what extraordinary et them for her? She is not President, she is only my mother The doctors and nurses cannot know that this frail, dying old woman did a million kindnesses for hjuot up early Sundayto make hot popovers for us or that she drove her old Packard too fast and too close to the righthand side of the road No stranger would have guessed any of those things looking at her there and perhaps would not have cared

There is no time for each of us to weep for the whole world We each weep for our own

Grandfatherhood It seeer than they used to be before I got to be one

When I had a grandfather, all grandfathers and grandh they had always been what they were, grandrandfathers They were kindly old folks and their grandchildren could do no wrong in their elderly eyes I guess I haven't taken naturally to being a grandfather I have no interest whatsoever in being a lovable, gray-haired old codger who approves of everything his grandchild does

Up until last week, I thought of Justin as hter's son I had seen him for a day or two five or six tio, but I'd never spent an extended length of time with him Either his father or his mother had always been present when Justin was at our house

Last as different Margie and I had this cute little blond, brown-eyed person with us all week I seeie when I was there because he wanted to do what I was doing I was trying to enjoy what little's left of my vacation in my workshop If I hammered, he wanted to hammer If I sawed, he wanted to saw It's onehundred-percent ierous tools and a grandchild who insists on being there with you

”Are we going to do our work?” he asked as soon as he got up every day Sorandfather I kept waiting to excuse hihtless Instead, I found randchild I was liking hi this kid seeot up early and made hiht that was cute so I had to get up early this year and randchildren never forget

I spent quite a bit of ti habits He hter Martha, or his father, Leo He never got the boy so interested in fruit and vegetables and so uninterested in candy, soft drinks or junk food I don't knohat's wrong with hi he'll be tellingfor Christhter Alexis Perkins a tow from the tractor in Rensselaerville, New York rant behavior in regard to food, trying to deterot off on the wrong foot by not liking ice creaovernh old Art Linkletter shows to know that kids ask a lot of cute questions, but I was unprepared for those Justin asked

During a long drive over country roads to the grocery store, the sun shone in his eyes I had a baseball cap with a long peak on it in back of the car and I suggested he put it on First, he put it on straight but the sun was still hitting his face so directly that he pulled the cap down over his eyes and was looking through the woven fibers of the dark blue h there were only two of us in the car, it took me a minute to realize he meant me

”What's all these colors?” he asked ”I see all colors What makes all the colors, Granddad?”

I knew instantly I was about to fail ht from the sun contains every color in the spectrum and I know that under certain circuht beams so that the colors break down and separate The process is called refraction I know that but I can't explain it

I can't figure out how Justin learned how to be a grandchild faster than I learned how to be a grandfather

Simple Pleasures A Trip to the Dump T he President says this country is in desperate need of a moral revival He isn't the first one to say it, either Al it for years The trouble is, no one kno to revive us ht just do the trick I say we should all take our own garbage to the dump Every able-bodied person in the country would set aside an hour twice a week to dispose of trash and garbage There would be no exceptions The President would pack up whatever waste was produced in the private rooms of the White House and take it to the dump just like the rest of us A President should keep in touch with reality, too

Going to the du experience It is both satisfying and educational It makes you acutely aware of what you have used in your hoe

In a family, duoing to the due without knowing that the wastebasket or the garbage pail isn't the end of the line if he or she has never been to the du to drive would, of course, be acco you realize when you go to the du what professional garbage collectors call ”wet garbage” and just trash All garbage is not the same Trash is cans, bottles, papers, cardboard boxes and broken electrical appliances ”Wet garbage” coet over that natural feeling of revulsion that garbage tends to induce Keep in rounds, water before we arbage pail Think of thea down the odor into its component parts

It is possible to be overcome by a sense of your place in history at the dump You are, at thatto rearrange the planet Earth Man has always considered hie dump can make him aware that he is not In the millions and millions of years Earth has existed, there have been constant changes taking place You probably live in a city that was once a lake or an ocean The mountains you see lacier when itrich, loalaciers, you are doing your part to rearrange the location of the ele upso it across the country to other places, using the things, turning the them in ten thousand separate little piles called dumps in other places In the process, we often ruin both places, of course, but that's another story

If being in on this cosmic kind of cosmetics doesn't interest you to think about the dump, there are other pleasures There is a cathartic pleasure to be enjoyed fro rid of stuff at the duhbors there that doesn't exist at the superood and honest thing and it gives hi to know that others, rubby, down-to-earth job

Nowhere is her in A and I recommend a trip there as a possible cure for what so many people think ails America, morally

Vacation May and June are the in until July but looking forward to it is the best part

Once a vacation begins, I can't keepthe days until it ends and that dioes so fast

I can reht In July the sun starts co dwindling sense about the afternoon shadows in late July It's no longer Spring

The longest day of the year should be in August, not June The end of s over my head in July like the income tax deadline in April or a dental appointment in January As the days dwindle down (to a precious few), it's depressing to realize that what I've been looking forward to for so long is althen your vacation Or, at least, give it a sense of length For instance, it's best if you don't have dates when you have to do soo somewhere Dates that interrupt a month make a vacation shorter If it's interrupted by so in another city or by a dental appointood vacation is one during which nothing happens so eventful that you can reet back to work and people ask, ”What did you do on your vacation?” We start going to our suht through Septee]With twin daughters, Emily and Martha three or four days I steal on each end of theWe have an extra bedroouests during my vacation If we have friends come to visit us, it's usually on weekends before or after my July vacation That way, they don't interruptuests I like the ones who get up when they feel like it without worrying about ”what tiuests who don't want to do what I want to do but feel free to wander off on their own When people are visiting, I don't want to be a tour director The best guests do what they feel like doing After breakfast, they et the newspapers twelve miles away and not show up until several hours later for lunch I auests who enjoy a nap after lunch If they want to play tennis towards mid-afternoon, that's fine If it isn't too hot, I'll join theet souests They don't want you to bother theestions like, ”Would you like to walk down to the lake?” or, ”There are sorossed in their book The man on't a no one we invite to stay with us is going to read this but I don't like guests who stand around asking whether there's anything they can do If so he or she can do, there almost never is because the people who ask that question aren't the kind of people who kno to do anything

There shouldn't be est question you have to answer during the day is ”What do you want for dinner?” or ”Do you need anything at the store?”

Every year I bring several boxes of letters and h I have never yet gone through thes

Napping You're certainly not interested in how I sleep, but I' to tell you only because you'll relate it to yourself or to the people you knoell enough to kno they sleep

There aren't , I' was an Oly hoot on the plane, strapped myself in and fell asleep before takeoff As always, I didn't wake up until Napping 189 189 [ireatest, siht attendant shook ht was at 9 a seems to bother some people when they sleep, and I' black coffee and drop off thirty seconds after I hit the pillow One of the few things that keeps e fire alarht, I awaken easily, try to determine where the fire is and then drop back off to sleep in a matter of seconds

Some people sleep faster than others I'm a very fast sleeper I can nod off for three ht hours Soet up sleepy I awaken instantly, going full speed

We probably ought to sleepThe trouble is, once the bed is et so far froht pay off for a company to have a room with cots where employees could take a nap Companies have cafeterias and bathrooot an hour for lunch, they could divide it any way they liked between eating and sleeping

Naps are underrated I don't knoe dis as an inconsequential little act The word itself doesn't even sound iet off his or her feet and lie down for a fewin bed for eight hours a night, on the other hand, see a battery At soht hours stay in bed because they don't want to get up, not because they need the sleep Taking all your sleep in one piece doesn'tonce a day

Napping got a bad reputation so the line and I resent it For some reason, people who don't nap feel superior to those who do Nappers try to hide it They don't let on that they drop off once in a while because they knohat other people will say

”Boy, you can really sleep,” or, ”Look at him He sleeps like a baby” It isn't much, but there's just a touch of scorn in the voice

People who are awake feel superior to people who are asleep because sleeping people usually don't look so good It's a rare person who looks or acts as well asleep as he or she does awake You don't have any control of your face muscles, your jaw is apt to drop open and your hair is ain front of a ether just before you leave the house for work You can bet the President doesn't look too good when he's asleep Even Miss America would probably be embarrassed to have a picture of herself taken while she was unconscious

I'd like to forood sleepers and nappers We'd demand the respect we deserve We are people who dare drop off for a Wastebaskets 191 191 few minutes in the middle of the day We're an oppressed minority and we're tired of it Nappers of the world, unite!

Wastebaskets What would you say are the ten greatest inventions of all tih on the list and so would the engine, stea press, radio, airplane, the plow, telephone, ceuess you'd have to include the computer How many's that?

You can make your own list but don't count discoveries Discoveries are different froy, for instance, isn't so much an invention as it is a discovery, like electricity or fire