Part 18 (1/2)
”I'm more worried about you.”
She forced a smile to her lips. ”It was nothing more than a moment of panic. I've never stood at the top of a mountain before. All of a sudden it was too much.”
”I shouldn't have kissed you,” Tyler said, ”but I thought you trusted me.”
”I do,” Daisy said, upset Tyler would interpret her reaction as fear. ”n.o.body could have taken better care of me.”
”Until now.”
”Even now,” Daisy said. ”There was nothing improper about that kiss. I wasn't afraid of you. I enjoyed it.”
Tyler's disbelief was obvious, but she wasn't willing to take him any deeper into her confidence. He had penetrated too far as it was.
”Go see about your deer. I'm going to see if Zac's awake.”
He was up, dressed, and pouring over his cards when she entered. ”Is Tyler back?” he asked.
”Yes.”
”Did he find a way down the mountain?”
”The snow's still too deep.”
”You were gone a long tine,” Zac said, eying her suspiciously.
”Tyler took me up to the top of the ridge. He wanted to show me the view.”
”On a day like to day!” Zac exclaimed, looking out the window at a huge icicle which hadn't started to melt.
”It was a spectacular view.”
”You must be as crazy. It's five thousand feet straight down.” Zac shuddered. ”As far as I'm concerned, I'd just as soon never climb another mountain.”
”You don't feel excited when you look out over the edge?”
”Not unless you call wanting to throw up excitement.”
Daisy walked over to the pegs along the wall. She unb.u.t.toned the coat and slipped out of it. She felt better knowing Zac wasn't affected by the mountaintop view the way Tyler was. She didn't admire Zac, but as long as you didn't ask him anything about cards, he did show a certain amount of common sense. It comforted her that his reaction should be so close to her own.
Yet she could not forget that moment. It was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. It was probably nothing but a dizzy spell -- more likely wishful thinking, the same kind of groundless optimism that had supported her father all his life -- but she couldn't erase it from her memory. It had happened, and for a moment she felt better than she ever had in her life.
She thought that was probably how a drunk feels when the first rush of alcohol reaches his brain. The first moments are sheer euphoria. But soon everything crashes and you're left feeling miserable. Daisy had no intention of cras.h.i.+ng or of feeling miserable. She might not be able to forget the experience -- she couldn't always control her mind -- but she refused to give it any credence. It was a mirage, wonderful but unsubstantial.
The door opened to admit Tyler. ”The deer hasn't eaten. I'm going to look for something else.”
”What does it usually eat?” Daisy asked.
”Leaves, twigs, small tree limbs, bark, moss.”
”Ugh!” Zac said. ”No wonder I don't like venison.”
”Want to come with me?” Tyler asked Zac.
”I'm not going tramping around the mountains stripping bark off trees to feed a deer I can't eat.”
”I'll go,” Daisy offered.
”You ought to take a nap,” Tyler said. ”Climbing that ridge was more exercise than you've had in a long time.”
She didn't know whether he really didn't need help or if he just didn't want her company. After the way she had acted, she couldn't blame him.
”How about fixing some breakfast before you go?” Zac asked.
”I'll do it,” Daisy offered. ”I'm not as good as Tyler, but I can cook.”
”I don't suppose you can ruin breakfast,” Zac murmured.
”I can, but I won't.”
”I'd let him starve,” Tyler said. He waited a moment, as though for Daisy to say something, then he closed the door and was gone.
Daisy walked to the window and watched Tyler cross to the trees. She hugged her arms around herself. That kiss had changed something. Not just the relations.h.i.+p between them, something deep inside her. She was glad of the time alone. She needed to look within herself. Only there would she find the key to everything else.
Daisy paced back and forth.
”I thought you were going to cook breakfast,” Zac said.
”I changed my mind,” Daisy said. It felt wonderful to say that. She'd never refused to cook before. She paused, almost certain he would do something to her for this defiance.
”Do you always go back on your word?”
”No.”
”Why did you this time?”
”I just don't feel like cooking.”
Zac watched her in silence. Daisy didn't like that. He saw too much.
”What happened out there?”
”Nothing.”
”Liar.”
”Nothing important.” She flushed. ”I don't want to tell you about it.”
”I didn't think you would.”