Part 31 (1/2)

Daisy realized it wasn't protection she wanted. It was isolation. She wanted to be left alone until she could figure out what was going on inside her head.

And her silly, rebellious heart.

”It's not that. Things have happened too fast.”

”Guy's been wanting to marry you for ages. That hasn't changed.”

”Why does he want to marry me?” Daisy suddenly demanded of her friend. ”There must be a dozen prettier girls who'd bring him a large dowry.”

”Guy has always liked you,” Adora said, clearly a little taken back by Daisy's question. ”He thinks you're quite pretty. He doesn't care that you're not rich.”

”But does he love me?” Daisy demanded. ”He doesn't seem overwhelmed by me in the least.”

”He wants to get married right away.”

”I mean me! He doesn't try to find ways to steal a few minutes alone with me. When we are alone, he doesn't ache to touch me, to take me in his arms. He doesn't long to do things he knows I won't let him do before the wedding.”

”Do you want him to do those things?”

”Yes.” Daisy's confession escaped like a sigh, like a long held secret she had finally summoned the courage to confess. Only it wasn't a confession as much as a discovery. Before Tyler, she would have been content with no more than a word of love. Now she knew there was much more. She wanted that, too.

Adora's laugh sounded guilty. ”I'd want that, too,” she confessed. ”I've dreamed of a man kidnaping me and carrying me away to his mountain cabin.”

”I've been there,” Daisy said. ”You don't want to go.”

”It was only a fantasy. I wouldn't want him to ravage me, but it would be exciting to have him be so crazy about me he couldn't control himself. It sounds to me like you want the same thing.”

”I do. I guess I'm just ashamed to have admitted it.”

”I know Guy's not the romantic type,” Adora said. ”He's too much like Papa, but he does admire you. He'll be a good husband.”

”Why does he admire me?” Daisy wanted to know.

”I think it's your mind,” Adora said. ”Guy's not very bookish. He's impressed you can read all those books and understand what they say.”

Daisy had wanted to hear something about her eyes, her lips, even her bosom. She didn't want to hear about books.

”Would you want to marry somebody who admired you for your mind?”

”Don't be silly. I don't have a mind,” Adora said.

”Yes, you do. You just don't use it.”

”Men don't like women to think for themselves.”

Tyler did. He had told her she could do anything she wanted.

”They want to take care of us. It's what they're supposed to do. I wouldn't want to have to make my own living. I wouldn't know where to begin.”

Daisy didn't either, but she had an urge to try. She didn't want to have a portion of her life marked off and be told to stay out.

”As for wanting a man to be so pa.s.sionate about you he couldn't control himself, I don't think I'd really like that. A man should respect his wife, like Guy respects you. He'd never think of mistreating you. How could he look you in the face the next day?”

Hungrily. Tyler would. He'd want to do it all over again.

”I think you've just been overset by being whisked off to the mountains by a handsome man.”

”How do you know he's handsome? You never saw him.”

”You wouldn't have talked about him so much if he weren't,” Adora said, giving her friend a hug. ”Besides, if he's Hen Randolph's brother, he's got to be heavenly. Why do you go there all the time?”

”To sit with Laurel while she recovers from having her baby. She doesn't know anybody in Albuquerque.”

”Sometimes I think you like her better than me.”

”I'll never like anybody better than you,” Daisy said, giving her friend a fierce hug. ”You've been absolutely wonderful to me.” Daisy clung to her friend. ”I don't know why you like me. I'm such a complaining, ungrateful female.”

”No, you're not. You've just had a difficult time. But everything is going to be perfect from now on. You'll see. All you have to do is marry Guy.”

All she had to do was marry Guy, and everything would be perfect!

Then why was she so reluctant? Before her father's death, it had been exactly what she wanted. It didn't make sense for her to start dragging her feet now. She wasn't fooling herself. It was because of Tyler. Why couldn't she accept he wasn't coming back?

Daisy heaved a great sigh. Their time in the cabin was over. She had experienced more than most women, certainly more than Adora who would go to her wedding to some very proper young man without even the most innocent flirtation.

It was time for Daisy to grow up. Tyler had said she could do anything she wanted to as long as she put her mind to her. She knew marrying Guy wasn't what he had in mind, but it was what she ought to do. She liked Guy. She knew she didn't love him, but she might learn. Her mother had married for love, and it had killed her. Daisy had sworn she wouldn't let that happen to her. Here was her chance to have exactly the kind of life she'd always wanted.

”I'll talk to Guy tomorrow,” Daisy said. ”I want to wait a few more days in case Daddy's family answers my ad. I don't want them to hear about his death and my wedding in the same week.”

”Are you sure?”

”Yes. Laurel told me it was always best to get over difficult ground quickly, that it would make things much easier in the end.”

”I can't wait to tell Mama.”

Daisy decided she'd feel much better once things were settled and her life had some focus, some direction. Marrying Guy would give her that direction.

She had allowed Tyler to confuse her. She supposed it happened to many young women, especially young women with no family to guide them. She was fortunate to have the Cochranes. Without them, she might have done something terribly foolish.

Daisy shaded her eyes from the sun as she and Guy approached the hotel. She wondered why the Plaza was barren of trees. They would be very useful in the summer, much more so than a picket fence.

She looked forward to her visit with Laurel, but not even that could banish her sense of apprehension. She knew it was time she stopped refusing to face her future, but she dreaded facing Albuquerque society. As soon as she let Guy announce their engagement, she would be besieged by well wishers.

Daisy wondered if all prospective brides were this nervous.

”I see Mrs. Esterhouse and her daughter, Julia Madigan, coming this way,” Guy whispered. ”Her husband is one of Dad's partners in the bank. Julie's husband has a wholesale business. You'll meet them all the time once we're married.”

It didn't take Daisy long to realize Mrs. Esterhouse and her pet.i.te daughter disapproved of her.