Part 20 (1/2)

---”A Bachelor of Arts”, Act I

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 141]

”Hullo, Pet!” returned Mr Bouncer; ”bring yourself to an anchor,on to the edge of a chair, and placing his hat underneath it; while Huz and Buz ss, and looked at him with an expression of countenance which bore a wonderful reseazed upon

”Never ars,” observed Mr

Bouncer, ”and they never bite any one except in play Now then, Pet, what sort of liquors are you given to? Here are Claret liquors, Port liquors, Sherry liquors, egg-flip liquors, Cup liquors You pays your money, and you takes your choice!

”Well, sir, thankee!” replied the Pet, ”I ain't no ways pertikler, but if you ~have~ sich a thing as a glass o' sperrits, I'd prefer that - if not objectionable”

”In course not, Pet! always call for what you like We keep all sorts of liquors, and are allowed to get drunk on the pre shot as he passed our hero, little Mr Bouncer dived into the cupboard which served as his wine-bin, and brought therefrom two bottles of brandy and whiskey which he set before the Pet ”If you like gin or rum, or cherry-brandy, or old old-tom, better than these liquors,” said Mr

Bouncer, astonishi+ng the Pet with the resources of a College wine-cellar, ”just say the word, and you shall have them 'I can call spirits from the vasty deep;' as shi+kspur says Hoill you take it, Pet? Neat, or adulterated? Are you for ~calliduiduenerally takes my sperrits 'ot, sir - if not objectionable,”

replied the Pet deferentially Whereupon Mr Bouncer seizing his speaking-truh it from the top of the stairs, ”Rob-ert! Rob-ert!” But, as Mr Filcher did not answer the summons, Mr Bouncer threw up theof his room, and bellowed out ”Rob-ert” in tones which h Street ”Doose take the feller, he's always over at the buttery;”

said the incensed gentleet his kettle,” said Mr S If he don't unpowder tea before he can take his double-first”

By the time Mr Sht it prudent to answer his master's suh he was doubtful on that point

[142 ADVENTURES OF MR VERDANT GREEN]

”Call!” said Mr Bouncer, with great irony; ”oh, no! of course not! I should rather think not! Do you suppose that you are kept here that parties s for you?

Don't answer lasses; and be quick about it” Mr Filcher was gone i was settled to Mr Bouncer's satisfaction, and he gave Mr Filcher farther orders to bring up coffee and anchovy toast, at half-past eight o'clock ”Now, Pet, entleot sohish work before you, you know”

The Pet did not require any pressing, but did as he was told; and, bestowing a collective nod on the company, drank their healths with the prefatory reents!”

”Will you poke a smatically; but, as he at the saars, the professor of the art of self-defence perceived that he was asked to sht, Pet!” said the Honourable Flexible Shanks, condescendingly, as the prizefighter scientifically filled the bowl of his pipe; ”I'lad to see you join us in a bit of sible!” said Charles Larkyns; ”and don't you remember what the ~Oxford Parodies~ say?” and in his clear, rich voice, Mr Larkyns sang the two following verses to the air of ”Love not:”-

Sars they are made from leaves of cauliflowers;-

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 143]

Things that are doomed no duty e'er to pay;- Grown, made, and smoked in a few short hours

Smoke not - smoke not!

Se The healthfulness of your stoe; All thoughts seem undefined - save one - to be alone!

S about, Giglamps,” said Mr Bouncer, as Charles Larkyns ceased his parody a of your first weed on the night of Smalls' quiet party: wer'nt you now, old feller? Ah, you've learnt to poke a smipe, beautiful, since then Pet, here's your health

I'll give you a toast and s~i~ntiood hiding!” The sentireat applause, and the toast was drunk with all the honours, and followed by the custoood felloithout the singing of which Mr Bouncer could not allow any toast to pass

”How many cads could you lick at once, one off and the other on?”