Part 54 (1/2)

”DON'T TOUCH ME!” I screamed. The sound of a bird or some other animal moving through the surrounding forest made me realise how loud my scream had been. His hands left me like I had stabbed him with my invisible sharp edges.

”Keira...?” His voice was pleading...begging. That word...that terrible word that now had new meaning for me. It added to a pain that had stayed with me from the very first day that Morgan had taken me. This made me very, very...angry! I got up quicker than I thought possible for my unsteady legs. I spun round to face him and my foot sunk deeper in the snow's layers.

”NO! How dare you! How could you, HOW COULD YOU!?” I screamed at him and pushed him so hard I felt pain in my arms. It didn't matter, would anything hurt this man! He didn't put up any attempt to stop me, he just stood there and took it with a deep hurt coating his eyes. Thankfully he was back to being Draven or I don't think even in my rage I would have had the courage to do this to the flaming Demon Draven that had sizzled out for now. It was starting to feel like this was a daily routine. Get up, see friends, argue with Draven and scream at him. Get ready for work, see friends, beat up my cousin, get thrown to the ground by an ignorant Demon and watch as Draven tried to kill him. Then yell at Draven some more. Even by my standards, that was one h.e.l.l of a day!

”Fight back! What's wrong with you! Scream at me, command me, order me to stop oh mighty King! Aren't you afraid of anything Draven?” I was seething to a point I could only see him through a misted red blur.

”Are you finished?” He asked calmly which broke me down to a level I didn't think there was. I pulled my hand back and slapped him on the face so hard it did finally leave its mark. His cheek blazed red which helped me ignore the stinging whip his face left across my palm. His head was still held down to one side and his eyes didn't look at me. A deep pain scarred them from their beauty and they had never looked more black and cold as they did at this point. His hair had fallen forward and covered his forehead and the side of his face I had slapped. The contrast of his red skin and his jet black hair was startling.

I was waiting for a reaction but I was left disappointed because he gave me nothing. He straightened his face and looked down at me in waiting for the next round of crazy I had to deliver.

”Fine, I guess if that does nothing to your frozen heart then let's see if this will...Good bye Dominic!” I said, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I turned and started to walk the other way not waiting to see if it had affected him the way I wanted it too. I didn't get far.

”NO! You will not leave me! You cannot, do you understand?” He was standing in front of me again now and I didn't even see his body move. It was like he had transported.

”Watch me!” I snapped back. At this he restrained me. He held the tops of my arms in two solid vices.

”Stop this!” He shouted. Those were my words! The very words I had begged for that life he cared nothing for. And I had been the one hurt by it!

”BEG!” I said almost spitting the word at him. At this it seemed to sink in.

”Come on Draven! What wrong, when it's on the other foot it isn't as gratifying is it!”

”You think ANY of that was gratifying!” He was seriously p.i.s.sed now and for some reason I felt better for it. Anything was better than having Draven just stand there and take it like he was stone... cold, hard un-breathing stone.

”Well did you stop once, just once...for one tiny second in that flaming head of yours to think about how it made ME FEEL! DID YOU?” He actually winced as though I'd branded him with a red hot poker.

”Wait, let me answer that one for you...NO!” I stomped.

”He hurt you, he threw you to the ground, I saw it and I reacted like anyone in my position would.” He spoke the words like a true King.

”You really believe that don't you?” His features set in granite and he folded his arms across his chest before answering.

”Yes.”

”Then you really are an idiot! Think back to my face Draven...this face!” I pointed at my face and walked him backwards because I kept pus.h.i.+ng forward and he had nowhere else to go.

”This face, that was covered in tears as it is now. My pleading face that was begging, BEGGING Draven! Begging you to stop, begging you not to let me witness what you were doing, what you wanted to do, what you DID! Do you know when the last I begged Draven? DO YOU? Let me take you back to my h.e.l.l!”

”No, please, don't do this!” He lowered his head like this was the most painful thing he had ever heard but I kept going, there was no stopping me now.

”One name Draven, MORGAN!” He cried out when I shouted the words and he bent over double and looked like he was trying not to erupt again. I didn't care...I just didn't care, so I carried on.

”I begged him, every d.a.m.n DAY! I begged him to let me go or let me die, just anything so that I could have control back over my life. So that I didn't belong to him anymore. I had to nearly die to get free and when I made it out of there with my life, I vowed never to beg ever, ever, ever again! Tonight I broke that promise because of you. I was terrified Draven and it wasn't because of what had happened, it was because of you. I was terrified of you!” This was the straw that broke him. Draven finally got it! And he looked like he wanted to die because of it. He fell to the ground just as I had and covered his face with his hand like he was trying to prevent it from caving in. I stood back and watched in horror at what I had done. Had I gone too far? I know I had wanted to hurt him, but this? I answered my own question.

I had gone too far.

”You can't...I won't...I won't let you be frightened of me.”

”No,” I said in a whisper as I backed away from him further.

”I...I...can't, NO, I won't! I won't live without you. Please Keira, I didn't mean to frighten you, I had to do that, I had to show them that you couldn't be touched. They had to fear it, they had to fear me, the very idea of it. I'm trying to keep you safe and keep you in my world at the same time but it is difficult. There are so many dangers, so many things to fear...but...but me? To think it was me all along that I had to protect you from, the way I am.” I cringed back as I had gotten a taste of justice and hated its bitter acidic after burn. I shook my head and he shouted back.

”YES! Yes it is and don't try and deny me your true feelings. I frighten you, who am I to strike fear into the very heart that I am trying desperately to claim? Where is my hope? What is there for me to do, what can be done when you see me this way?.... h.e.l.l's Beast in love with Heaven's beauty.” He ducked his head again and the pain was rippling from him like it was erupting from his core. Mine felt as though I was the one murdering him. It had cracked under pressure and I knew only one man that could heal me. My G.o.d this was tearing me apart! How could I ever have thought so badly of him, been so scared of him. That man that had shown himself, was this man that was in front of me on his knees declaring his love. If I had nothing then this moment, only this moment in my life to last me until eternity, his words, his voice telling me that he loved me would be enough and I needed to hold on to that, I had to.

”I have to go,” I wanted to say, knowing that I had to put s.p.a.ce from this night, I needed this time to get past this. I had to see things without Draven around, to face the facts and clear my head from the visions of the King, the Judge and the Executioner! I cried out again as another flash of tonight's nightmare stole my concentration. Draven's hand choking the life from another being. I mean, I had seen Draven fighting but that was always different, that was in self-defence or from protecting me from death or kidnapping. Those men had truly wanted to hurt me so didn't that make it ok? See these are the things I needed to clear, to find clarity and make my decisions based on them, not on guilt at seeing Draven's pain or the intense love he had for me. I had to be smart. I had to leave. So I said the words aloud, the ones I knew would hurt the most.

”I have to go,” I said letting fresh droplets of myself fall from my eyes and disappear into the snow. He raised himself up in one liquid motion and in two strides he was in front of me, so close that if I was to see his face, I would have to strain my neck back so far that I would be looking straight up to the winter moon.

”No!” Was all he said and I tried to hold on to my resolve as I stared at his chest expanding as he took a breath.

”I have to,” I repeated but his breath hitched and held for the longest time.

”Don't go!” He poured everything he had into those two little words and more tears gathered and overflowed. His voice was so silky smooth it felt like being placed in a deep, cool lagoon on a blazing hot day. I closed my eyes before the next stage came. I knew it was on its way because I knew what my answer was going to be. And as if he knew also he raised his finger to my lips to stop me from speaking. He hesitated just a second before touching me but when I didn't take a step back he placed one warm finger on my frozen mouth. I closed my eyes and let another overflow spill down to his hand.

”Please Keira... don't leave me.” He whispered and it felt as though my heart had stopped beating, it too, waiting for my answer. I looked away, moving from under his fingers, feeling like I had taken his place as the judge.

”Draven it's too late, I have to leave now or I will just end up saying more things I will regret later on and I'm so tired of feeling a guilt that is enough for me to drown in.”

”No, stay and punish me, you have not said enough to me and I deserve more. Shout at me, hit me and beat me down until I'm nothing more than a sh.e.l.l but please don't leave me!” He was begging and there was not one ounce of pleasure in it at all but I knew I couldn't make it stop. It was too late for that wish.

”Then I will ask you, Dominic please let me go.” This time I did look up at him and when I saw the tears in his eyes for the very first time a sob broke free from my trembling lips.

”I am sorry but I cannot do that Catherine.” He spoke like he was truly sorry for not giving me what I needed. I broke down completely then and fell into his arms and cried until I felt empty. His strong hold wrapped around my torso and one hand held my head against his chest.

”Ssshhh, My little sweetheart.” He soothed back my hair and the gesture was making it harder for me to find control over my feelings. It was only when he took my hand in his and said the next words that I pulled myself back to our desperate situation.

”Come Keira, come with me.” He pulled gently on my hand but I pulled back.

”No, I can't..I..”

”Keira you're exhausted and freezing, you need rest and warmth. Let me give you that, let me take care of you.” He was trying so hard to lead me away with him, back to the place I still couldn't go. It would have been so easy, like breathing, to just let him take me away to his tower. It was so tempting, knowing he would lay me down and encase me in his warm arms until sleep took over my mind and let me escape this turmoil. But I couldn't do it. I wrenched my hand free and almost stumbled backwards.

”NO!” I shouted holding my hands up at him, like you would have an approaching wild animal.

”Ok...ok, look we can stay out here a little longer but...” I didn't let him finish and he noticed me walking backwards.

”I'm leaving and you're not going to stop me.”

”The h.e.l.l I'm not!” He said angrily but also certain.

”Draven, I want you to do something for me.” I was still moving backwards but now he was moving forwards like at any minute he would scoop me up and carry me to his room whether I resisted or not.

”Go on,” he nodded cautiously.

”Prove to me how you feel,” I said in flurry of emotion and before he could speak I had to say one last thing, to get it out before he gave me no option. I was taking quicker steps now and he was about to reach out to me.