Part 7 (1/2)
”Yes,” sez I coldly, ”I've hearn _talk_.”
”Yes,” sez he, ”but if we do succeed, after the most strenious efforts in getting the duty off champagne, green turtle, olives, etc., and put on to sugar, tea, cotton cloth and such like, with all this brain f.a.g and brain labor--”
”And tongue labor!” sez I in a icy axent.
”Yes, after all this ceaseless toil the common people will not show any grat.i.tude; we statesmen labor oft with aching hearts.” And he leaned his forward on his hand and sithed.
But my looks wuz like ice-suckles on the north side of a barn. And I stopped his complaints and his sithes by askin' in a voice that demanded a reply:
”Can you and will you do Serepta's errents? Errents full of truth and justice and eternal right?”
He said he knew they wuz jest runnin' over with them qualities, but happy as it would make him to do 'em, he had to refuse owin' to the fur more important matters he had named, and the many, many other laws and preambles that he hadn't time to name over to me. ”Mebby you have heard,” sez he, ”that we are now engaged in making most important laws concerning moth-millers, and minny fish, and hog cholera. And take it with these important bills and the constant strain on our minds in tryin' to pa.s.s laws to increase our own salaries, you can see jest how cramped we are for time.
And though we would love to pa.s.s some laws of truth and righteousness--we fairly ache to--yet not havin' the requisite time we are forced to lay 'em on the table or under it.”
”Well,” sez I, ”I guess I may as well be a-goin'.” And I bid him a cool goodbye and started for the door. But jest as my hand wuz on the nub he jumped up and opened the door, wearin' that boughten second-hand smile agin on his linement, and sez he:
”Dear madam, perhaps Senator B. will do the errents for you.”
Sez I, ”Where is Senator B.?” And he said I would find him at his Post of Duty at the Capitol.
”Well,” I said, ”I will hunt up the Post,” and did. A grand enough place for a Emperor or a Zar is the Capitol of our great nation where I found him, a good natured lookin' boy in b.u.t.tons showin' me the Post.
VII
”NO HAMPERIN' HITCHIN' STRAPS”
Well, Senator B. wanted to do the errents but said it wuz not his place, and sent me to Senator C., and he almost cried, he wanted to do 'em so bad, but stern duty tied him to his Post, he said, and he sent me to Senator D., and he _did_ cry onto his handkerchief, he wanted to do the errents so bad, and said it would be such a good thing to have 'em done. He bust right into tears as he said he had to refuse to do 'em. Whether they wuz wet tears or dry ones I couldn't tell, his handkerchief wuz so big, but I hearn his sithes, and they wuz deep and powerful ones.
But as I sez to him, ”Wet tears, nor dry ones, nor windy sithes didn't help do the errents.” So I went on his sobbin' advice to Senator E., and he wuz huffy and didn't want to do 'em and said so. And said his wife had thirteen children, and wimmen instead of votin' ort to go and do likewise.
And I told him it wouldn't look well in onmarried wimmen and widders, and if they should foller her example folks would talk.
And he said, ”They ort to marry.”
And I said, ”As the fas.h.i.+on is now, wimmen had to wait for some man to ask 'em, and if they didn't come up to the mark and ask 'em, who wuz to blame?”
He wouldn't answer, and looked sulky, but honest, and wouldn't tell me who to go to to git the errents done.
But jest outside his door I met the Senator I had left sobbin' over the errents. He looked real hilarious, but drawed his face down when he ketched my eye, and sithed several times, and sent me to Senator F. and he sent me to Senator G.
And suffice it to say I wuz sent round, and talked to, and cried at, and sulked to, and smiled at and scowled at, and encouraged and discouraged, 'till my head swum and my knees wobbled under me. And with all my efforts and outlay of oratory and shue leather not one of Serepta Pester's errents could I git done, and no hopes held out of their ever bein' done. And about the middle of the afternoon I gin up, there wuz no use in tryin' any longer and I turned my weary tracks towards the outside door. But as bad as I felt, I couldn't help my sperit bein' lifted up some by the grandeur about me.
Oh, my land! to stand in the immense hall and look up, and up, and see all the colors of the rain-bow and see what wonderful pictures there wuz up there in the sky above me as it were. Why, it seemed curiouser than any Northern lights I ever see in my life, and they stream up dretful curious sometimes. And as I walked through that lofty and most beautiful place and realized the size and majestic proportions of the buildin' I wondered to myself that a small law, a little unjust law could ever be pa.s.sed in such grand and magnificent surroundin's. And I sez to myself, it can't be the fault of the place anyway; the law-makers have a chance for their souls to soar if they want to, here is room and to spare to pa.s.s laws big as elephants and camels, and I wondered that they should ever try to pa.s.s laws as small as muskeeters and nats. Thinkses I, I wonder them little laws don't git to strollin' round and git lost in them magnificent corridors.
But I consoled myself, thinkin' it wouldn't be no great loss if they did.
But right here, as I wuz thinkin' on these deep and lofty subjects, I met the good natured young chap that had showed me round and he sez:
”You look fatigued, mom.” (Soarin' even to yourself is tuckerin'.) ”You look very fatigued; won't you take something?”