Part 11 (1/2)

”How would it do to tie females up when they got to thinkin' they wuz equal to men, halter 'em, rope 'em, and let 'em see if they wuz?”

But this idee wuz objected to for the same reason Josiah had advanced, as Philander well said, ”wimmen had got to go foot loose in order to do the housework and cookin'.”

Uncle Sime Bentley, who wuz awful indignant, said, ”I motion that men shall take away all the rights that wimmen have now, turn 'em out of the meetin'

house, and grange.”

But before he'd hardly got the words out of his mouth, seven of the members riz up and as many as five spoke out to once with different exclamations:

”That won't do! we can't do that! Who'll do all the work! Who'll git up grange banquets and rummage sales, and paper and paint and put down carpets in the meetin' house, and git up socials and entertainments to help pay the minister's salary, and carry on the Sunday School? and tend to its picnics and suppers, and take care of the children? We can't do this, much as we'd love to.”

One horsey, sporty member, also under the influence of liquor, riz up, and made a feeble motion, ”Spozin' we give wimmen liberty enough to work, leave 'em hand and foot loose, and sort o' muzzle 'em so they can't talk.”

This seemed to be very favorably received, 'specially by the married members, and the secretary wuz jest about to record it in the moments as a scheme worth tryin', when old Doctor Nugent got up, and sez in a firm, decided way:

”Wimmen cannot be kept from talking without endangerin' her life; as a medical expert I object to this motion.”

”How would you put the objection?” sez the secretary.

”On the ground of cruelty to animals,” sez the doctor.

A fat Englishman who had took the widder Shelmadine's farm on shares, says, ”I 'old with Brother Josiah Hallen's hargument. As the father of nine young children and thirty cows to milk with my wife's 'elp, I 'old she musn't be kep' from work, but h'I propose if we can't do anything else that a card of sympathy be sent to hold Hengland from the Creation Searchin' Society of America, tellin' 'em 'ow our 'earts bleeds for the men's sufferin' and 'ards.h.i.+ps in 'avin' to leave their hoccupations to beat and 'aul round and drive females to jails, and feed 'em with rubber hose through their noses to keep 'em from starvin' to death for what they call their principles.”

This motion wuz carried unanimously.

But here an old man, who had jest dropped in and who wuz kinder deef and slow-witted, asked, ”What it is about anyway? what do the wimmen ask for when they are pounded and jailed and starved?”