Part 24 (1/2)

Her eyes widened. ”Wh-what?”

”When we made love, I bit you. I marked you.” His hand slid from hers and touched her on the shoulder. That sweet curve that led up to her neck. His fingers trailed over her silken skin. ”When you mark here, that's a mating bite for my kind. f.u.c.king binding as marriage. I'm locked to you, tied to you now for the rest of my life. I won't ever be happy with anyone else.” He'd never feel so much as a flicker of desire for anyone else. He couldn't. He was mated and that meant that he belonged-body and soul-to her.

”I don't really want you happy with anyone else,” she muttered.

She didn't get it.

”If you were a s.h.i.+fter, the marking would have just condemned us both to a life where we were always tied to one another. If you left me, you'd mourn for me. Your body would hurt because you needed me close to you.” He exhaled. ”But you're not a s.h.i.+fter, thankfully. So the rules that apply to me...they won't apply to you. You can walk away. You can be happy without me. You can have a life that isn't tied to a monster.”

”And what about you? Will you be happy without me?”

Never. ”I will be happy...knowing that you're safe. Knowing that you have a life that suits you better.”

”You're...you're telling me to walk away.”

He was trying to get her to run away. ”Being n.o.ble isn't something I do well.” Or at all, usually. ”I am the monster in the closet. The one that little kids are supposed to fear. I'm a nightmare, and I don't know how to handle anything good.” His hand lingered against her skin. ”When I try, I destroy it.” Just like he'd destroyed her. ”You need someone better than me. You need to go...you need to just...leave, Rose. Live your life.”

”Without you.” She shook her head. Tears gleamed in her beautiful eyes. ”Why are you doing this?”

”Because, for once, I want to put someone else first. I don't want to be like Simon. I don't want to take and take and take...until there is nothing left of you.”

A tear slid down her cheek. ”But I thought...”

He forced a hard smile. ”That we'd get a happy ending? That's not for people like me. The ending I wanted...I wanted a redo for you. I wanted Leo to make you human again, and then I was going to get him to make you forget me.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. ”What?”

”We weren't going to be together when this story ended. You were going to have your life, and I was just going to be a bad dream that faded away when you woke up at dawn.”

”You were going to do that-to me?” And she jerked away from him. She fumbled with the door, and she shoved it open, sending a crack snaking along the gla.s.s with the force she used. ”You b.a.s.t.a.r.d!”

She jumped out of the chopper. He didn't follow her.

”You don't get to decide my life! I've learned to be a vampire and you know why? Not because I'm evil or dark or any c.r.a.p like that...but because I'm strong.” Her hand gripped the door. ”I'm strong enough to keep going even when I was so terrified of the world around me. I'm strong enough that I learned to hunt, learned to live a whole new life. If I didn't want this, I could have given up at any moment. You think Luke didn't offer me a way out?”

”What?” Shock froze his heart. No, no, Luke would not have done that. He'd known just how desperate Julian was for Rose, how much he cared for her. He would not have offered her death.

”When I opened my eyes, he immediately started telling me the ways that I could die. He was giving me an out right then.”

Julian shook his head. No, Luke had just been warning her...hadn't he? Doubt gnawed at him as he started to see the past with different eyes.

”And he came to me later...when I was so afraid of killing someone else, and he had a wooden stake with him. He told me...he told me that I wouldn't even feel the pain, if that was what I wanted.”

For an instant, the whole world went dark. Rose-dead? Luke had gone to her with a stake. I will kill him. ”The sonofab.i.t.c.h never told me-”

”That he offered me death? He did, but I didn't want death. I wanted to keep living. I chose to keep going. It's been my choice all along. Just like you have been. I want you, Julian. I love you. Beast or man, it's the same to me. You are the same.”

”Rose...”

”It's time for you to make a choice.” She let go of the door and stepped back. ”If you want me, then we're looking to the future. There is no more guilt and no more regret. No more fear, not for either of us.”

She still didn't get it. ”I will destroy you.” As he'd destroyed others. He didn't get out of the chopper. If he got out, he'd touch her. If he touched her, he'd be lost. She'd be lost. I'm mated to her. There will never be another for me. But she still has a chance. Why couldn't she see that? ”I'm good for one thing in this world.” He looked down at his hands and saw the claws that had sprung forth. ”Killing. It was what I was born to do. It's what I've spent years doing. That shouldn't touch you. That blood and death-”

Her husky laughter cut him off. ”Oh, Julian...I'm a vampire, blood and death are my life. They are the only things I know.”

Because of him.

His breath sighed out. ”I stayed away from you...because I didn't want to hurt you. I need you too much. I want you too much. When other men are near you...” He looked over at her. ”I want to rip them apart.”

She stared back at him. ”That's called jealousy. It's normal.”

It was normal for a human. ”My control is razor thin when it comes to you. Others might want to rip apart another male who comes too close, but I can actually do it. It wouldn't even take effort. One swipe of my claws, and death follows.”

”You wouldn't do it.”

That was where she was wrong. He just stared back at her, willing her to see him for who he truly was.

”Why can't you see?” Now her voice was sad. ”You're looking in a broken mirror. That's not who you are.”

It was exactly who he was. ”You should step away from the helicopter.”

A furrow appeared between her brows. ”What?” Her eyes widened. ”You're leaving me?”

He was setting her free. There was a difference.

”You b.a.s.t.a.r.d! I love you, and you're walking-flying-away from me?”

He didn't speak.

She did. ”I never thought you were a coward.” Her words were low, but he heard them clearly. ”You're afraid, aren't you? So afraid of what could happen that you won't let us have a chance together.”

It wasn't a matter of could. The past spoke for itself. The past-their past. Her death. Because of him. And the whole tangled s.h.i.+t with the Collector? It went back to him. Julian had gotten her turned into a vampire. If he hadn't done that, she never would have been on the Collector's radar. She never would have been living with monsters.

”You blame yourself for everything, don't you?”

”For all the pain you've felt...” And there had been so much since she'd ended her human life. ”Yes,” he rasped. ”It's on me. It will always be on me. I can't undo it, but I can stop it from happening again. I can make sure that I don't cause you to suffer more. When you walk away from me, you'll be safe.”

”And what will you be?”

Empty. Broken. Alone.

A killer. ”What I was always meant to be.”

Her hair began to blow, tossing back against her face. Her clothes pressed to her body. He hadn't yet made the helicopter blades spin, so that rush of wind wasn't coming from him. If it wasn't from him...oh, b.u.g.g.e.r. ”Rose, get back in the chopper.” He lunged for her.

”Now you want me back?” she demanded and retreated a step. ”I've had a really s.h.i.+tty day, so you need to make up your mind, panther.”