Part 30 (1/2)
”I--think so, Clive. What else could it be--when a girl is always thinking about a man, always happy with her memories of him.... It _is_ love, I suppose ... only I never thought of it that way.”
”Can you think of it that way now?”
”I haven't changed, Clive. If it was love in the beginning, it is now.”
”In the beginning it was only a boy and girl affair.”
”It was all my heart had room for.”
”And now?”
”You fill my heart and mind as always. But you know that.”
”I thought--perhaps--not seeing you--”
”Clive!”
”--Other men--other interests--” he muttered obstinately, and so like a stubborn boy that, for a moment, a pale flash from the past seemed to light them both, and she found herself smiling:
”A girl must go on living until she is dead, Clive. Even if you went away I'd continue to exist until something ended me. Other men are merely other men. You are you.”
”You darling!”
But she turned shy instantly, conscious now of his embrace, confused by it and the whispered endearment.
”Please let me go, Clive.”
”But I love you, dear--”
”Yes--but please--”
Again he released her and she stepped back, retreating before him, until the lounge offered itself as refuge. But it was no refuge; she found herself, presently, drawn close to his shoulder; her flushed cheek rested there once more, and her lowered eyes were fixed on his strong, firm hand which had imprisoned both of hers.
”If you can stand it I can,” he said in a low voice.
”What?”
”Marrying me.”
”Oh, Clive! They'd tear us to pieces! You couldn't stand it. Neither could I.”
”But if we--”
”Oh, no, no, no!” she protested, ”it would utterly ruin you! There was one woman there to-night--very handsome--I knew she was your mother.
And I saw the way she looked at me.... It's no use, Clive. Those people _are_ different. They'd never forgive you, and it would ruin you or you'd have to go back to them.”
”But if we were once married, there _are_ friends of mine who--”
”How many? One in a thousand! Oh, Clive, Clive, I know you so well--your family and your pride in them, your position and your security in it, your wide circle of friends, without which circle you would wander like a lost soul--yes, Clive, lost, forlorn, unhappy, even with me!”