Part 54 (1/2)
She looked at him curiously, then, with her engaging and fearless smile: ”_Quantum suff_,” she said. ”You know you oughtn't to care _too_ much for me, Clive.”
”How much is too much?”
”You know,” she said, watching his face, the smile still lingering on her lips.
”No, I don't. Tell me.”
”I'll inform you when it's necessary.”
”It's necessary now.”
”No, it isn't.”
”I'm afraid it is.”
There was a silence. She lay watching him for a moment longer while the smile in her eyes slowly died out. Then, all in a moment, a swift change altered her expression; and she sat up on the couch, supporting herself on both hands.
”What is happening to you, Clive!” she said almost breathlessly.
”Nothing new.”
”What do you mean?”
”Shall I tell you?”
”Of course.”
”Then,”--but he could not say it. He had no business to, and he knew it. It was the one thing he could refrain from saying, for her sake; the one service he could now render her.
He sat staring into s.p.a.ce, the iron grimness of self-control locking every fetter that he wore--must always wear now.
She waited, her eyes intent on his face, her colour high, heart rapid.
”What had you to say to me?” she asked, breaking the silence.
He forced a laugh: ”Nothing--except that sometimes being with you again makes me--very contented--”
”Is that what you had to say?”
”Yes. I told you it was nothing new.”
She lowered her gaze and remained silent for a moment, apparently considering what he had said. Then the uplifted candour of her eyes questioned him again:
”You don't imagine yourself in love with me again, do you, Clive?”
”No.”
”Nothing like that could happen to you again, could it?... Because it has not yet happened to me. It couldn't.... And it would be too--too ghastly if you--if anything--”
”Don't talk about it that way!” he said sharply. ”If it _did_ happen--what of it?”... He forced a smile. ”But it won't happen....