Part 12 (1/2)

In my shock, I'd forgotten Sachath would come.

A dark cloud blocked out the night sky, swirling above me, condensing into a vague shape-head, shoulders, arms that became wispy and translucent as the thing moved. But in the very heart of it was the same horrifying black void I remembered. The shape moved closer.

I was empty and spent; all the power surrounding us was Sachath, not me, and it was heavier and denser than anything I'd felt before. It made me sick to my stomach. Tendrils of the gray, swirling matter floated toward me, over me, around me, snaking around my body as though hugging me, lifting me up, and pulling me into the black void.

And then the voice. Ancient and deep, imbued with such power that my teeth clattered together with every syllable. The words I didn't understand, despite Light.w.a.ter's syndialexi spell, but the frustrated restraint in them was unmistakable.

Then, it released me. I was weightless for three seconds before my back hit the stone floor of the balcony again. Stars dotted my vision and I faded into darkness.

11.

I regained consciousness sometime before dawn. The cool air had worked its way into my bones, and my muscles were tight and trembling, trying to create some heat within my body. My skull and shoulder blades ached, and my arm burned. Overhead, the stars were giving way to a purple sky.

Christ, I hurt.

Carefully, I rolled onto one side and pulled my knees to my chest, giving myself time to adjust, time to think and come to terms with what I'd done.

I didn't enjoy ending someone's existence, didn't enjoy the kill, and didn't seek it out unless it was absolutely necessary. At heart, my goal was to protect. If that meant engaging a foe, defending others, or stopping a murderous creature, then I would. I loved a good fight, sure. I loved feeling like I made a difference, and knowing that I helped people who couldn't make a stand. But there was no thrill in what I'd done.

I'd defended myself. In moments like those when s.h.i.+t is coming at you faster than you can process, you do what you have to do to survive. I acted on instinct, which wasn't anything new-my response had been the normal Charlie MO. It was the way I'd killed him that I had a hard time with.

Eventually, I got up and shuffled stiffly into the bedroom where I cleaned up the ashes of the siren and then dumped them over the balcony into the sideways breeze.

I needed to get out of the palace and away from the reminders of last night, so I dressed slowly and then attempted the maze of hallways beyond my room until I found myself outside. The guards gave me a nod of recognition, which I returned before proceeding down the steps toward the sea, not stopping until I came to the market.

I bought a small loaf of warm spiced bread and took it past the dock to the beach, where I walked for a while, taking in the fresh air, the views, and the sunlight. I climbed the path to the cliffs beneath one of the towers and found a good spot to eat.

I needed this . . . peace, this solitary time, and the mindless distraction of the sea as it splashed against the tall, jagged rocks below me. I watched the birds dive from the cliffs and into the sea for breakfast. I watched the sky change colors. And eventually all those things helped clean away the darkness inside me.

My gaze turned to the tower across the bay. The obelisk's pointed top caught the first rays of the sun and sparked bright enough to make me s.h.i.+eld my eyes. And then I saw it; the rings of power that made the wall of Fiallan impenetrable. Just a glimpse, like a s.h.i.+mmering mirage and then . . . gone.

I drew my knees in, wrapping my good arm around them, and rested my chin on top. No matter what had happened last night, my goal hadn't changed. The siren had come in secret, of that I was sure. But his disappearance would be noted at some point. They'd start searching, they'd be alert, and eventually they'd make their way to us. The outsiders. But we'd be inside the inner sanctum long before that happened. I hoped.

I stayed a few more minutes, and then headed back toward the palace to attend the Panopeic rites.

”I really don't see why I have to be bare-a.s.s naked in front of everyone!” I whispered vehemently. ”You're the one who was invited.”

Sandra had neglected to mention that being invited to the Circe's Panopeic rites also involved a cleansing-a nude, arctic, freeze your f.u.c.king a.s.s off cleansing. I didn't appreciate the non-warning, nor did I appreciate the fact she hadn't stopped flaunting her amazing night of lovemaking ever since I'd returned from my morning walk. In reality, if I thought parading naked through Fiallan whistling ”Dixie” would get me closer to Hank, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I didn't have to like it or the company.

Sandra and I were the last of the all-female procession to shed our clothes and step into the sacred spring. I was allowed to keep my amulet, but I worried about the mark on my shoulder blade and the symbols on my arm being visible. But more so about the mark, as it was identical to the one on Hank's chest. We had squabbled at length with the priestesses, trying to forgo this part of the ritual, to the point they threatened to bring the Circe to back them up. We'd considered Sandra going in alone and then reporting back, but then we learned once the procession was over, no one was ever permitted inside of the sanctum. Sandra felt sure she would not be invited back again, and I might miss my chance to get inside.

In the end, we decided this was our moment. We had to take it whatever the risk.

”You can't come unless you're purified in the spring,” Sandra sang over her shoulder.

I shot daggers at her back as a gazillion icy goose b.u.mps swept up my legs and arms. A siren attendant filled a bowl with water and lifted it to my shoulders. I braced myself as cold liquid hit my skin. ”Sweet Baby Jesus!”

The only good thing about that moment was watching Sandra get the same treatment, though it was hard to really enjoy her shock since I was in the process of becoming a human Popsicle.

The group in front of us received their gowns and began walking down the shallow stream that led out of the pool.

The grotto and spring tucked into a high rock was, according to Alessandra, supposedly the sacred spring where the deity Panope had appeared to the Circe and given them the vision of how to save the city from the Adonai. Panope was also called the Witch of the Sea, which I thought appropriate given her a.s.sociation with the three hags I planned on killing.

Males were prohibited from taking part in the Panopeic rites. Good thing. As it was, my poor brain felt permanently damaged at having to see Alessandra in all her bare-naked glory. Like most Elysians, she wasn't shy when it came to baring all; they often gathered in the baths naked as the day they were born, eating, conversing, as though nothing was out of the ordinary-though for them nothing was.

It made me wonder about her origins. Some race of Elysian, possibly? The fact that nudity didn't faze her was a clue I cataloged with all the others.

Sandra took the gown offered to her. ”Besides, Charlie, it wouldn't kill you to let your feminine side out once in a while.”

”Uh . . . I believe my feminine side is out right now for all the world to see,” I grumbled. ”And what the h.e.l.l is that supposed to mean anyway?”

She laughed. ”You're just grumpy because I had fun last night and you didn't.”

My glare was cut short by water over my head. I stopped myself halfway into spinning around and decking the attendant. f.u.c.k, that was cold! I swiped a hand down my face. ”I hate you,” I told the oracle with as much menace as I could manage.

She tossed a c.o.c.ky look over her bare shoulder. ”It was good, too.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled the gown over my head. Yeah, if only she knew the night I had. Hers obviously had been nothing but pleasure while mine had been . . . brutal. Whatever. I refused to let her bait me and tried to ignore her constant hints at her amazing night.

As I tugged the gown over my wet skin and arranged it correctly, I realized it left part of my mark visible. I glanced over my shoulder, trying to see how much was actually exposed.

”Charlie.” Sandra stood downstream, waiting in the bend.

For a moment I was struck by the scene: her wet black hair spilling down her back, the white gown with its hem floating in the water around her calves, the blossoms in her hand, the trees that lined the mossy banks with their thin, fragile-looking limbs and the delicate leaves . . . Like a painting, a scene straight out of some Renaissance artist's dream of G.o.ddesses and ancient rites.

Then her eyebrow arched and one corner of her red lips dipped down, ruining the whole picture. The attendant handed me a bowl filled with white blossoms, which I was to carry down the winding stream, releasing them as I contemplated the gifts of the G.o.ddess, asked for her blessing, and offered her my grat.i.tude. Blah, blah, blah.

I tugged on the shoulder of the gown with one hand and balanced the bowl in the other. Well, at least we were the last to go, I thought as I picked my way along the mostly sandy bottom of the stream. And I sure as h.e.l.l wasn't backing out now.

Once I caught up to Sandra, who looked as though she was taking instructions seriously, I poked her in the back to get her attention.

”What?”

”How well can you see my mark?” I asked, turning around.

”Fairly well. But I'm standing right by you. Don't sweat it,” Sandra said, moving on. ”You're the least important person here, so you'll be in the back where no one will notice you.”

Gee, don't mince words, Sandra.

”Now, hush. We're supposed to reflect on the G.o.ddess and the connection we make from us to the water and to the sea.”

The chant of Tibetan monks came to mind and I couldn't help but say, ”Should I start Om-ing?”

She tossed a flat, unamused look my way and then returned her attention to the procession. After a few minutes, Sandra said thoughtfully as she walked, ”I want your word on something, Charlie.” She glanced over her shoulder to make sure I was listening. ”If anything were to happen to me . . . Promise to take me back home to Atlanta. Tuni will know what to do.”