Part 62 (1/2)

”I wonder if I could have--Oh, say, there's no use talking,” he ended bitterly.

”What were you about to say, Tom?”

”Nothing.”

”Yes, you were. Tell me.”

”Oh,” he cried, with all the bitterness of a lost, hungry soul, ”if I had only known! She _could_ have comforted me. What a fool I was not to see her. I've been cursing myself all day. Now I know why I cursed. It was because I wanted to see her--” He struck himself a violent blow on the mouth, as if that were all that was needed to crush the great longing that was in his breast.

”Yes. Go on, Tom,” she said quietly.

”I can't, Mary. I can't talk about it. I guess I'd better say good-by now. I'll lose my nerve if I get to thinking and talking. I don't want to think that I might still get some happiness out of life if--if I went after it right.”

She put her cold hand on his big, clenched fist. He looked at her. The faint light from a near-by lamppost struck his face. It was heavy, leaden with despair and misery.

”Almost the last thing she said to me before she went away was this, Tom: 'Some day I shall go to him. He needs some one to love him. I am sure he is not so wicked as--' She got no farther than that. I stopped her.”

”She said all--Mary, why did you stop her? Why didn't you want her to say it? Why did you begrudge me a little thing like that?” He was trembling violently. There was misery, not anger or resentment in his voice.

”Tom, are you ready to go to the river?”

He shrank away from her, shuddering, appalled.

”It's hard to die, after all. I--I ought not to have let you tell me all this. It's made it harder. I never thought of it before. Somehow, Mary, I--I think I might have turned out a better man if--if I'd known just how Christine felt.” He got to his feet suddenly. ”I said I'd do it. You want me to do it. Well, I will!”

She clung to his hand. He turned upon her with an oath on his lips. The light now struck her face. What he saw there caused him to catch his breath and to choke back the imprecation.

”I am convinced that you would do it, Tom, for her sake and mine. You would do it, not because you are weak, but because you are strong. I am satisfied now.”

”Satisfied?” he murmured, wonder-struck.

She arose. ”Tom, I am not going to say that I love you. You cannot expect that. There is a feeling within me, however, that may develop into something like the old love I once had for you, if you give it the right kind of encouragement--and care.”

”What are you saying to me, Mary?” he cried hoa.r.s.ely.

”You would have given up your life so that Christine might be happy. I am willing to do as much, Tom, toward the same end. I will give up the life I am leading. You want another chance, Tom. Well, you shall have it. I will go where you go, live where you live.”

”Mary!” he gasped.

”Christine said you needed help. Well, I will try to give it to you.

You have her love. You didn't quite kill that, as you did mine.” She took his limp hand in hers and looked up into his eyes. ”Perhaps, if both of us try hard, you and I together, Tom, we may be able to make her forget the ugliest part of her life.”

”Together? I don't understand.”

”I am still your wife,” she said, a shrill note creeping into her voice despite the effort she made to be calm.

”You--you mean I won't have to go--to go to the river?” he cried, unable to think beyond that awful alternative.

”I never meant you to do that.”