Part 15 (2/2)
BAYARD (_to himself--with joy_). I think I can guess! (_To the Bicycle._) What _did_ she say?
The BICYCLE (_rattling with indignation_). Why, all _she_ said was: ”How tiresome! I wonder if I can hire a decent bike here without having to send to town for one.” There's grat.i.tude for you! But _you_ can't enter into my feelings about it.
BAYARD. Pardon me--I fancy I can. And, after all, your day will come, when the Vet has set you up again. _Mine's_ over for ever. (_To himself._) Oh, why, _why_ wasn't I born a bicycle!
[Ill.u.s.tration]
A DOLL'S DIARY.
_January 1._--Just had a brilliant idea--_quite_ original. I don't believe even any human person ever _thought_ of such a thing, but then,--besides being extremely beautiful and expensive, with refined wax features and golden hair--I am a very clever doll indeed. Frivolous, no doubt; heartless, so they tell me--but the very reverse of a _fool_. I flatter myself that if _anybody_ understands the nature of toys, especially _male_ toys--but I am forgetting my idea--which is this. I am going this year to write down--the little girl I belong to has no idea I can write, but I _can_--and better than _she_ does, too!--to write down every event of importance that happens, _with the dates_. There! I fancy _that_ is original enough. It will be a valuable dollian doc.u.ment when it is done, and _most_ interesting to look back upon. Now I must wait for something to happen.
_January 6._--Went to Small Dance given by the Only Other Wax Doll (a dreadful old frump!) on the Nursery Hearthrug. Room rather nicely illuminated by coloured fire from grate, and a pyramid nightlight, but floor poor. Didn't think much of the music--a fur monkey at the Digitorium, and a woolly lamb who brought his own bellows, make _rather_ a feeble orchestra. Still, on the whole, enjoyed myself. Much admired.
Several young Ninepins, who are considered stuck-up, and keep a good deal to their own set, begged to be introduced. Sat out one dance with a Dice-box, who rattled away most amusingly. I understand he is quite an authority on games, and anything that falls from his mouth is received with respect. He is a great sporting character, too, and arranges all the meetings on the Nursery Race-course, besides being much interested in Backgammon. I _do_ like a Toy to have _manly_ tastes!
The Captain of a Wooden Marching Regiment quartered in the neighbourhood was there in full uniform, but not dancing. Told me they _didn't_ in his regiment. As his legs are made in one piece and glued on to a yellow stand, inclined to think this was not mere military swagger. He seemed considerably struck with me. Made an impression, too, on a rather elderly India-rubber Ball. Snubbed him, as one of the Ninepins told me he was considered ”a bit of a bounder.”
Some of the Composition Dolls, I could see, were perfectly _stiff_ with spite and envy. Spent a very pleasant evening, not getting back to my drawer till daylight. Too tired to write more.
_Mem._--Not to sit out behind the coal-scuttle another time!
_February 14._--Amount of attention I receive really quite embarra.s.sing.
The Ninepins are too _absurdly_ devoted. One of them (the nicest of all) told me to-day he had never been so completely bowled over in his whole existence! I manage to play them off against each other, however. The India-rubber Ball, too, is at my feet--and, naturally, I spurn him, but he is so short-winded that nothing will induce him to rise. Though naturally of an elastic temperament, he has been a good deal cast down of late. I smile on him occasionally--just to keep the Ball rolling; but it is becoming a frightful bore.
_March._--Have been presented with a charming pony-carriage, with two piebald ponies that go by clock work. I wish, though, I was not expected to share it with a _live kitten_! The kitten has no idea of repose, and spoils the effect of the turn-out. Try not to seem aware of it--even when it claws my frock. Rather interested in a young Skipjack, whom I see occasionally; he is quite good-looking, in a common sort of way. I talk to him now and then--it is something to do; and he is a new type, so different from the Ninepins!
_April 1._--Have just heard the Skipjack is engaged to a plaster Dairy-maid. A little annoyed, because he really seemed----Have been to see his _fiancee_, a common-place creature, with red cheeks, and a thick waist. Congratulate the Skipjack, with just a _hint_ that he might have looked higher. Afraid that he misunderstood me, for he absolutely jumped.
_April 7._--The Skipjack tells me he has _broken off his engagement_; he seems to think I shall guess the reason--but I don't, of _course_. Then he actually has the impertinence to (I can scarcely pen the words for indignation) to _propose_--to Me! I inform him, in the most _unmistakable_ terms, that he has presumed on my good-nature, and that there are social barriers between us, which no Skipjack can ever surmount. He leaves me abruptly, after declaring that I have broken the spring of his existence.
_April 8._--Much shocked and annoyed. The Skipjack found quite stiff and colourless this morning, in the water-jug! Must have jumped in last night. So _very_ rash and silly of him! Am sure I gave him no encouragement--or _next_ to none. Hear that the Dairy-maid has gone off her head. Of course it will be put down to _grief_; but we all know how easily plaster heads get cracked. Feel really distressed about it all, for the blame is sure to fall on _me_. Those Composition Dolls will make a fine scandal out of it!
_May._--The Ninepins are getting very difficult to manage; have to put them down as delicately as possible; but I am afraid, poor fellows, they are dreadfully upset. The Wooden Captain has challenged the Dice-box to a duel--I fear, on _my_ account. However, as the officer's sword will not unglue, I _hope_ nothing will come of it. All this _most_ worrying, though, and gives me little _real_ satisfaction. I find myself sighing for more _difficult_ conquests.
_June._--Went to afternoon tea with the biggest Dutch Doll. Rather a come-down, but now that there is this coolness between the Composition set and myself, I must go _somewhere_. I feel _so_ bored at times! Can see the ridiculous Dutch thing is trying to _out-dress_ me! She had a frock on that _must_ have cost at _least_ fifty beads, and I don't believe it will _ever_ be paid for! Only made her look the bigger _guy,_ though! Tea-party a stupid affair. Make-believe tea in pewter cups. Met the latest arrival, a really nice-looking Gentleman Doll, introduced as ”Mr. Joseph.” Very innocent face, without any moustache, and the sweetest blue eyes (except mine) I think I _ever_ saw! Seemed rather shy, but pleasant. Asked him to call.
_June 18._--Mr. Joseph has not called _yet_. Very strange! Suspect those horrid Composition Dolls have been setting him against me. Met him by the back-board and scolded him. He seemed confused. By a little management, I got it all out of him. I was right. He _has_ been told about the Skipjack. He has strict principles, and gave me to understand that he would prefer to decline my acquaintance--which was _like his impudence_! This is exciting, though. I intend to overcome these scruples; I mean him to be madly in love with me--then I shall scornfully reject him, which will serve him just _right_!
_July._--My tactics have succeeded--_at last_! To-day Joseph called, _ostensibly_ to beg me to go and see the unhappy Ball, who, it seems, is terribly collapsed, reduced to a _mere bowl_, and so exhausted that he cannot hold out much longer. However, in the course of the interview, I soon made him oblivious of the Ball. He fell at my feet. ”Beautiful Gloriana,” he cried, ”with all your many and glaring faults, I love you!” Then I carried out the _rest_ of my programme--it was a painful scene, and I will only record that when he left me, he was completely _un-dolled_! I feel almost sorry for him--he had rather a nice face!
[Ill.u.s.tration: ”I see _him_ standing, on the very brink of the precipice.”]
_July 4._--I don't seem able to settle to anything. After all, I think I will go and see the poor Ball. It would comfort him, and I might see _him_ there. I will order the pony-carriage.
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