Part 13 (1/2)

aHawka”Iam nota”experienced.a The words came between the shudders of sensual tension that racked Angelas body, teaching her more than she had ever thought to know about need and pleasure. She didnat see the cold curl at the corner of Hawkas mouth or the narrowing of his eyes, his savage anger that the lies had started so soon.

When Angel opened her eyes again, Hawk was naked, swooping down on her, covering her with his body like a raptor mantling its prey. She had no time to speak or think or conceal the cry of pain that came when he took her.

Hawk froze, astonishment and hunger struggling for control of his body until his emotions exploded into a searing rage.

aYou canat be a virgin!a But even as Hawk denied it, he knew that Angel hadnat lied.

The shock of Angelas truth went through Hawk, shaking his certainties as nothing had since he was eighteen and his world had been shattered by a womanas lies.

Like a cornered animal, Hawk fought to protect himself by attacking Angel.

aHawka”a Angel said hoa.r.s.ely.

She moved reflexively, trying to ease the pressure of him inside her. The motion took control away from him, hurling him into unwanted pleasure.

ad.a.m.n you!a Hawk snarled, shuddering, raging against the release that was taking him whether he willed it to or not. ad.a.m.n you to h.e.l.l!a With a final shudder Hawk rolled aside, freeing Angel. He fought to control himself again, to absorb the terrible knowledge that Angel had not lied to him about being inexperienced. He didnat understand what had happened. He didnat understand her.

And Hawk must understand or his world would be utterly destroyed.

Again.

14.

Angel lay without moving, feeling Hawkas condemnation sink into her more deeply than steel talons. A tangle of emotions swept over hera”frustration, bafflement, pain, and finally anger, a fury so deep that it frightened her.

She had felt rage like this before. It had almost burned out all that was human in her.

Silently Angel fought for self-control, fought not to scream, fought not to curse a life that seemed to hold out the hope of happiness only to take it away, leaving her broken and struggling to survive.

aWhy?a Angel asked, not hearing her own anguish, not even hearing the single word that had pierced her control.

aThatas my line!a Hawk retorted.

His voice was as savage as his eyes. He grabbed Angelas shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

aWhy didnat you tell me?a he demanded.

aI tried,a said Angel numbly, speaking without thinking, reduced to reflex and pain. aAnd then I thought you already knew.a aHow in Christas name would I know?a Hawkas hands bit into her shoulders. aI thought you were sleeping with Derry and Carlson. You sure as h.e.l.l didnat respond like a virgin. You were as hot as anyone Iave ever crawled into bed with.a aSleeping with Derry? Sleeping with Carlson?a Angel repeated the words without comprehending them. aBut I told you. Derryas like my brother and Carlson is a friend.a aWomen lie all the time.a Silence came, silence and knowledge sinking into Angel, talons turning in her soul, tearing her apart.

aYou think Iam a liar and a s.l.u.t,a she whispered.

Angel shuddered as the knowledge went through her, breaking her as the automobile accident had once broken her.

Then the habits of self-control learned at such cost closed around Angel, holding her emotions suspended, sealing them away. She would deal with them later, when she had the strength. Right now it was enough that she didnat unravel into hysteria.

The car wreck had been beyond her control.

This wasnat.

Iam alive, physically whole, Angel told herself numbly. I made a mistake, a terrible, irretrievable mistake.

Iam not strong enough to reach through Hawkas cruelty to the hurt and hunger and human needs beneath.

a.s.suming that he has such needs.

aYou proved that you were half right, didnat you?a Angel asked, her voice quiet, as empty as her eyes watching Hawk.

The change in Angel made Hawk deeply uneasy. He had expected hysterics, cursing, screaming, sweet lies and pleading, all the usual tricks of women.

He had expected anything but the eerie, porcelain calm of Angelas face and the bleakness of her eyes.

aWhat does that mean?a asked Hawk warily, loosening his grip on Angelas shoulders.

She slid off the bed, gathering her clothes as she went.

aIt means that I feel like a s.l.u.t,a she said calmly.

Abruptly Hawk gave vent to the rage that had flared when he realized that Angel had sold her virginity to a man who didnat want it.

aWhat do you expect when you sleep with a man for pay?a he demanded.

Without a word Angel started out of the cabin. Hawk grabbed her wrist.

aCut the act, Angel baby,a he said. aYou want your quarter of the land sale and decided to ensure it in the oldest possible way. Your choice. If you had asked, Iad have told you that it was useless. Nothingas going to make me buy Eagle Head but the land itself.a aI donat want Eagle Head sold,a Angel said distinctly, her voice without emotion or depth. aDerry does.a She met Hawkas eyes. There was nothing in her look but a color that was too dark to be called green.

aI owe Derry more than a man like you could understand,a Angel said calmly. aWhen Eagle Head is sold, the money will go to Derry. All of it. But you canat believe that, can you? Your choice, Hawk.a Angel looked down at the hand holding her wrist. When she spoke, her voice was calm, empty, final.

aLet go of me.a Hawk stared at Angel for a moment before he released her. When she left, shutting the c.o.c.kpit door behind her, he found himself wanting to follow her, hold her, take the emptiness from her eyes and her voice.

He realized in that instant that he wanted to believe her, wanted to believe that there had been no hidden reason for her to smile at him, talk to him, be with him, burn for him.

Then Hawk cursed himself more savagely than he had cursed anything in a long time.

I learned all there was to know about women on my eighteenth birthday. The lesson has been reinforced many times since then. Surely Iam not stupid enough to need a complete refresher course at the age of thirty-five.

The fact that Angel didnat lie about her virginity doesnat mean that the rest of her is pure truth.

Hawk rolled over, reaching for his clothes, and saw Angelas blood still bright on his body. Emotion tore through him in the instant before he controlled it, hating himself for even that fraction of weakness.

Virginity meant nothing. All women began that way. It had just taken Angel longer than most to decide on her price.

And what was it? What was her price?

The questions sank into him like hooks, digging into him with each heartbeat, scoring him each time he tried to turn away.

If not money, what? What did Angel say about Derry? Something about owing . . .