Part 8 (1/2)
I was unprepared for Trevor's next words and the shock on my face showed it.
”I'm just as much to blame for Oliver's death as you are.”
16.
the things we don't see.
My mind was swimming as I pulled my head up off the floor. My fingers b.u.mped into someone close by. I rolled over onto my stomach, meeting Oliver eye-to-eye on the floor. He had a smudge on the tip of his nose, perhaps from working with Freddie. I reached out to brush away the imperfection and then changed my mind at the last minute. He was almost too beautiful. The streak of dirt grounded him, made his connection to me much easier to believe. My hand was still stalled in front of his nose, so Oliver threaded his fingers through mine, connecting us.
”Keeping watch?”
”Haven't seen you all day. I missed you.” He brushed back a lock of hair that was hanging over my eye.
Like a child waking up from a deep sleep, I remembered where I was and who was in the room. Oliver steadied me by the elbow on my way to my feet. The first person I saw was Mel. There were worry lines etched on her forehead and it made me uncomfortable. I wrenched my neck toward the Delving chair, but Trevor was gone.
”Elliot?” I turned around. Julia was standing behind me, nibbling on an apple. I'd forgotten she was there. Everything had fallen out of my head except Oliver and Trevor. Julia hitched her thumb toward the door. ”He ran out right after the Delve.”
”Seems he's pretty good at storming off.” Oliver said it like it was a casual observation, but his right eye twitched ever so slightly.
”He's mad at me. I hurt his feelings earlier this morning. We'd been Delving.” I sounded guilty, as if we'd spent the whole time doing something illicit. I felt bad saying it in front of Oliver, but then I thought of Julia entangled in Trevor's arms and felt a little thrill to hear her soft intake of breath.
”We were sitting around waiting,” Oliver said. ”Lily had already come out of her Delve by the time Trevor and Julia got here.”
Color infused my cheeks. I hadn't been present for one of Lily's Delves yet. Talk about being self-centered. I bit my lip and looked at Lily. ”Sorry.”
”It's okay.” She gave a little nod of her head and I was floored by how gracious she was. It was hard to believe that someone like her would be a Third Timer, lumped in with a screwup like me.
I focused on Julia. ”What are you doing here, anyway?”
Julia had demolished her apple and moved on to a chunk of cheddar cheese. She swallowed. ”Oh, David had a scheduling conflict. He canceled our Workshop, and when I ran into Trevor in the hall, he asked me to join him.”
I searched for signs that his fingers had been threaded through her hair again, but who could tell with her helter-skelter curls? I was inundated with dark feelings.
Mel jumped in. ”We were delighted to have you join us today, Julia.” She hugged her around the shoulders, practically lifting Julia off her feet.
Julia gave me a shy smile and kept nibbling. I didn't understand her intentions. I smiled back anyway. It was an automatic response to her suns.h.i.+ne. She was like Tinkerbell with a tapeworm. I wasn't hungry for food; I just wanted things to be the way they'd always been between us. Then I really thought about why she was in this Workshop. ”Maybe you're delighted, but I'm not.” I said it to Mel but glared at Julia.
”Buta”but you said you wanted me in Workshop with you.”
”You didn't show up for me.”
”Maybe she did,” Oliver said.
Oh, no. I couldn't believe it. Now he was taking her side. What did she have? A freaking magic wand? ”Maybe you're being a little naive,” I fired off at Oliver, sick and tired of this whole gallant knight thing that was going on. Oliver looked stunned. I reached for him, thinking to explain myself, but before my fingers could find their target . . .
a a a We were in a dance studio. Julia's Delve. I could see her warming up in the mirror. She was sitting on the floor, stretching her limbs like a contortionist. She wore mismatched leg warmers that added bulk to her legs and a wraparound sweater over her outfit. Her usual mop of curls was piled into a pom-pom at the top of her head. Watching her, it didn't surprise me that she was a dancer. Now that I thought about it, she was always gliding from one place to another, silent and graceful. I drank in the sight of her as she twisted and moved her muscles. I'd been curious as to what her life was likea”without me.
”I've got a great idea!”
Who? I wanted to look around but of course I couldn't. Julia's nose was resting into her toes and she wasn't looking up, so I had no idea who was talking. Complete frustration.
”You came up with a possible song?” Julia said, her voice m.u.f.fled in her fuzzy leg warmers.
”No . . . I came up with the perfect song.” Julia's head shot up. Through the mirror, she connected with a girl who was visually her polar opposite. The girl was dark haired with olive skin, but it wasn't just that. She had curves. Voluptuous was the word that came to mind. It was funny because I might not have thought that if I'd seen her walking down the street, but as a dancer, she was unusual.
”Come on, Becks.” Julia stopped stretching and hopped to her feet. I could see them both now, as they stood shoulder to shoulder in the mirrored wall.
”I don't know why I didn't think of this before. It's so perfect for us.” Becks bounced up and down on her toes. Julia whirled around to face her.
”Just tell me!” She grabbed Becks by the shoulders and pretended to shake her. ”Please, tell me.”
”Well . . .” Becks teased. You could tell she enjoyed the suspense.
”Becca!” Julia said.
Becks scowled and looked like she couldn't decide whether to be p.i.s.sed or to cry. She sucked in a deep breath. ”I'll tella”just promise not to call me that.” She s.h.i.+vered. ”You know how I hate it.”
”And you know how I hate it when you keep me dangling.” Julia's whine was interrupted by Becks's giggle.
Know what I hated? I loathed the fact that they were friends. That should have been me. Would have been me, if things hadn't gotten so screwed up at the Basin.
Becks grabbed Julia's hands and they plopped down on the floor. She flashed Julia a high-wattage smile. ”It's the perfect songa”not overdone like the one we talked about. The other one is funnier, but in this one they're still best friends, just like us.”
My stomach lurched and I didn't know if it was from watching them be so familiar and close with each other, or if it had to do with the sudden s.h.i.+ft in the Delve. Time flying forward like the fanning of pages.
Whoa . . .
One minute I was watching the face of BFF-stealer Becks and the next minute I was kissing some guy. Onlya”too weirda”because it wasn't my Delve, I couldn't pick up on any of the emotion or physically feel what was going on. I was in the dark, stuck and smashed up against some guy.
Julia's eyes were closed so I couldn't even see the guy she was sucking face with. For all I knew, he wasn't even cute and had bad breath. I decided I needed to do something like count sheep to distract myselfa”G.o.d knows how long this was going to go on. Then I imagined how much worse it must be for Oliver to be in this Delve and couldn't stop myself from laughing. If only Trevor were still around.
It all happened at once. There was a loud gasp. Julia's eyes flew open. She was angled just enough that she could see the person who made the noise. It was Becksa”her face falling like an avalanche. She was the picture of devastation, and then she was gone. Julia flew after her, boy forgotten.
”Becks, it's not what you think . . .”
a a a I cleared my throat. ”That's funny, it seemed exactly like what Becks thought it was.” I couldn't help it. ”You have a way of making your best friends feel really good about themselves.” I narrowed my eyes at Julia. Now Oliver had his arm around her.
Oliver shook his head at me, while Julia just appeared horrified. I wanted to be more compa.s.sionate, I dida”but really, Julia was the one being mean to me. She was the one who'd cut me out of her life.
”Oliver, can you walk Julia over there?” Mel waggled her finger in the direction of her desk. ”Have her sit down and get her a drink of water.”