Part 44 (2/2)
”Yes. You've really helped him. He could never have written his book without you. His poor book.”
She sat stroking it. And suddenly a horrible memory overcame her, and she cried out:
”Oh, my G.o.d! And I've laughed at that, too!”
Barbara put her arm round her. ”You didn't, darling. Well, if you did--it is a little funny, you know. I'm afraid I've laughed a bit.”
”Oh, _you_--that doesn't matter. You helped to write it.”
Then Barbara broke out. ”Oh, don't, f.a.n.n.y, don't, _don't_ talk about his poor book. I can't _bear_ it.”
”We're both idiots,” said f.a.n.n.y. ”Imbeciles.”
She paused, drying her eyes.
”He liked the snowdrops you brought him,” she said.
Barbara thought: ”And the snowdrops he brought _me_.” He had caught cold that day, picking them. They had withered in the gla.s.s in her bedroom.
She left f.a.n.n.y, only to come upon Horry in his agony. Horry stood in the window of the dining-room, staring out and scowling at the snow.
”d.a.m.n the snow!” he said. ”It's killed him.”
”It hasn't, Horry,” she said; ”he'll get better.”
”He won't get better. If this beastly frost holds he hasn't got a chance.”
”Horry dear, the doctor says he's better.”
”He doesn't. He says his temperature's got no business to go up.”
”All the same--”
”Supposing he does think him better. Supposing he doesn't know.
Supposing he's a bleating idiot.... I expect the dear old pater knows how he is a jolly sight better than anybody can tell him.... And you know you're worrying about him yourself. So's the mater. She's been crying.”
”She's jealous of the nurse. That's what's the matter with her.”
”Jealous? Tos.h.!.+ That nurse is an idiot. She's sent his temperature up first thing.”
”Horry, old thing, you must buck up. You mustn't let your nerve go like this.”
”Nerve? Your nerve would go if you were me. I tell you, Barbara, I wouldn't care a hang about his being ill--I mean I shouldn't care so infernally if I'd been decent to him. ... But you were right I was a cad, a swine. Laughing at him.”
”So was I, Horry. I laughed at him. I'd give anything not to have.”
”You didn't matter....”
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