Part 66 (1/2)

--_Nixon Waterman_.

ECONOMY

TOM--”I've seen the girl I want to marry. I stood behind her at the ticket window this morning and she took seven minutes to buy a five-cent elevated ticket.”

ALICE--”Did that make you want to marry her?”

TOM--”Yes, I figured out that she could never spend my income at that rate.”

BOOK AGENT--”This book will teach you the way to economize.”

THE VICTIM--”That's no good to me. What I need is a book to teach me how to live without economizing.”

How oft economy grows gay And boasts of its efficient work, When it has merely stopped the pay Of some two-thousand-dollar clerk!

Little June's father had just returned from the store and was opening up some sheets of sticky fly-paper and placing it about the room. June watched a minute and then burst out with:

”Oh, papa, down at the corner grocery you can get the paper with the flies already caught. They have lots of it in the window.”

”Well, Albert, I've been acting on your advice. I put a hundred dollars in the bank this month.”

”Fine! It isn't so hard, is it?”

”No; I simply tore up all the bills.”--_Life_.

_See also_ Domestic finance; Thrift.

EDITORS

”An editor is a man who puts things in the paper, isn't he?”

”Oh, no, my son; an editor keeps things out of the paper.”

The editor of the newspaper in a certain small southern town was given an article to print, praising in very elegant language the life and works of a certain southern colonel.

The colonel and the editor were not the best of friends.

The article came out, but in spelling ”scarred,” in that very important phrase ”battle scarred veteran,” one ”r” was omitted.