Chapter 13 - My SI Stash #13 - Lex Marks The Spot by dogbertcarroll (DC & Buffy) (1/2)
-Hey! Thanks for 30K views and the Power Stones~
Out of all the fan fictions that I'm showing off, this one made me laugh the most. The author is very creative especially in the superpowers part, you'll see!
Synopsis: The Other Side of the Coin. Xander Harris finds himself inside Lex Luthor's body in the DC Universe. He's sure his friends will eventually rescue him, so he decides to toss a few monkey wrenches into the workings of the universe while he's there. Everyone has to have a hobby after all.
Rated: T
Words: 77K
Posted on: fanfiction.net/s/12512455/1/Lex-Marks-The-Spot(dogbertcarroll)
-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)
Chapter 1
Xander blinked a few times and looked around. He'd just been escorting children trick or treating, in the only costume he'd been able to come up with due to his limited budget. A single piece of costume jewelry, a fake bald 'wig' combined with a LED from Radio Shack, and his Sunday best had made for a passable-
”Mr. Luthor, your three o'clock is here,” the intercom announced, interrupting his thoughts.
”Send him in,” Xander replied before leaning back in his chair, and examining the ring on his left hand with its softly glowing green stone. He knew he should be freaking out or shocked, but for some reason he felt remarkably calm and he could see a lot of ways he could have fun with this situation before it ended.
Xander looked up and saw a familiar looking face extending a hand to shake. ”Give me a moment, Mr. Kent,” Xander said, pulling a lead lined box out of a desk drawer and depositing his ring in it.
Clark shook his hand, making sure to make his grip limp and weak. ”If I may ask, why did you take off your ring?” He'd expected to have to suffer through nearly half an hour of Kryptonite 's weakening effects to get his interview and had counted on the fact that Luthor kept people at a distance in his spacious office to help him endure it, but now Luthor had removed his ring, which meant he might have figured out who Superman was, making this all an elaborate trap!
”Because wearing it is childish, petty, and possibly dangerous now that I think about it,” Xander replied.
Clark was surprised to hear the honesty and amus.e.m.e.nt in Luthor's tone. ”Could you expand on that?”
”Sure,” Xander said cheerfully. ”Everyone knows I just wear it to annoy Superman and he's the last person on Earth who would actually attack me physically, ironic as that is. So it's both childish and petty to keep on wearing it. Now, it also occurred to me that no long term studies have been done to the effects of Kryptonite exposure on humans, thus possibly dangerous as well.”
”That- that makes a great deal of sense,” Clark said, trying to hide his surprise.
Xander chuckled. ”And completely out of character for me, I know. The really funny part is that Superman is only vulnerable to Kryptonite because he's just about as bad at looking at the big picture as I was.”
”How so?” Clark asked intently.
”Kryptonite radiation can be stopped by lead, gold, and similar high density metals as well as specifically tuned energy fields. He could easily redesign his costume using some of the advanced technology he has access to, to either cover him in some thin exotic kryptonite radiation blocking material on exposure or generate a field to block it.”
”That's... quite an idea,” Clark said in shock.
”That's nothing,” Xander waved it off. ”He could have a hidden red sun field generator in his belt so he could flip it on, neutralizing his powers and the kryptonite's effect on him.”
”But that would make him powerless,” Clark pointed out.
”Far from it,” Xander said, shaking his head. ”It would simply reduce him to near human levels, allowing him to go hand to hand without holding back.”
”I hadn't thought of that,” Clark admitted.
”Superman is a good guy and by that I mean a good man not just a good guy, if you get the difference. But if there's two things I'm good at, it's making money and annoying Superheroes, so you can bet he's had to restrain himself from hitting me at times,” Xander said with a grin.
”You two have had your differences,” Clark admitted.
”So imagine how satisfying it would have been for Superman to get to paste one on my grill, just mano a mano,” Xander said, amused at the look on Clark's face as he realized he could have done just what Lex was describing and he'd now lost the opportunity.
”Being Superman he couldn't do much more than hit you a few times and turn you over to the cops,” Clark said.
Xander laughed. ”I'm a trained fighter, Superman isn't nearly as skilled. I'd beat him bloody, but your average crook he could handle.”
”I think you'd be surprised,” Clark said, forgetting he was playing a role for a second.
”I really wouldn't,” Xander said. ”Sadly I know more about Superman and his skill levels than anyone but Batman, who obviously trained him. But enough about Superman, I've wasted far too much time needlessly antagonizing him in some adolescent d.i.c.k waving contest that I've now outgrown. Let's start this interview on...?”
”The recent pay cut to your workers in Gotham,” Clark said, pulling out a voice recorder.
”You'll have to refresh my memory on that, I'm afraid I've been dealing with oversea expenditures and have completely blanked on the details,” Xander said.
Clark nodded and talked at length about Lex's Gotham holdings and how Luthor's twenty percent pay cut would affect the local neighborhoods.
Xander reached over and pushed the button for his secretary. ”Mercy, get me the man I put in charge of Gotham on the line, I want to hear him justify the pay cut to Mr. Kent.”
”Right away, sir,” she replied.
”I thought you handled all major business decisions yourself,” Clark said.
”There is only so much information one man can process and retain with any degree of accuracy, that's why I hire people to work for me and follow their advice, unless I have some reason to believe they're wrong,” Xander explained.
”Craig Johnson on line two, sir,” Mercy announced over the intercom. ”Transferring him now.”
”You wanted to talk to me, Mr. Luthor?” Johnson asked.
”Craig, I have Clark from the Daily Planet here and he wants to know how we're justifying the twenty percent cut in pay for our Gotham workers,” Xander explained.
”Financial forecasts for the upcoming quarter in Gotham shows a minor recession heading our way and by cutting salaries by twenty percent we are hoping to avoid a drop in stock prices that would necessitate closing our Gotham offices,” Craig explained promptly.
”Hmm,” Xander said tapping his chin. ”Show me the hard data on that, so I can eyeball it for a minute.”
”You should already have it, sir,” Johnson replied.