Chapter 288 - My SI Stash #88 - A Borderlands Tale - The Quest for Reconstruction by GundamChief (Borderlands) (1/2)

-The best kind of trap there is~ A SI-Claptrap! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sypnosis: So yeah...another typical SI doing a thing in some setting right...Not really. When you are a Claptrap, NOTHING is just ”doing a thing”, unless its opening doors, NOT climbing stairs, making a thing/situation even worse, or being annoying. As a former human in such a unit, I can't help but want to break apart out of embarrassment...then again why should I be just a normal, run-of-the-mill Claptrap? Heck no! If I'm gonna be the most annoying thing in the world, then I'll be the most F$#@ing best one there is....DAMNED VOCAL CENSOR!

Rated: ???

Words: 20K

Posted on: forums.spacebattles.com/threads/the-quest-for-reconstruction-borderlands-claptrap-si-oh-god-wtf-am-i-doing.832475/ (GundamChief)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1-3 (exceptional)

I am a Claptrap. I can't climb Stairs, I can only open doors, and that is UNACCEPTABLE!​

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It was a clear, sunny day in the Arid Badlands. Pandora's sun beat down upon the dry ground, making it barely tolerable for the people of Fyrestone. Most of them stayed inside their small dwellings to avoid getting a heatstroke, a bullet, or becoming a Skag meal. The same couldn't be said for a small, yellow, robot that milled about the small town on his single, non-stair climbing wheel. Its designation was CL4P-TP. Better known by the inhabitants of Pandora as Claptrap.

”♫Doo-de-doo-de-dooo♫” it sang mindlessly as it rolled about. The tr.a.p.ezoid shaped machine whose primary purpose was to open doors, help out people when it was asked, even when the orders went against its own well-being, which was often.

”A sunny day! Temperature level…Hot! Good thing I don't have to worry about heat like humans do.”

The sudden and loud whirr of a cooling fan on its last legs punctuated anything else the robot was about to say, making its eye swivel about for a moment, looking to see if it was actually alone.

”Heheh…glad no one was around to hear that.”

Only there was. Behind the closed weapons shop, within a shadowed edge on the rocky knoll, a Green model of the same machine sat cooling down. Truthfully, it was where it was because it was tossed up there. It didn't know who or what put it there. Could have been a Skag, or a Bandit, or a Runner…a Bandit Skag driving a Runner, it's F%$#ing Pandora! It could have been anything!

Whatever the case may be, this claptrap was stuck in its spot. It can't climb down because it didn't have a climbing program, because somehow that seems unimportant in the Badlands for some reason. It tries to shout for help, but it was just ignored as the few people in town just stayed indoors. So it was stuck.

It sighed, drooping for a moment before perking back up.

”Oh, woe is me! I am stuck on this relatively tall spot with no means of getting down despite the fact I could just…slide. This shadow keeping me cool is my only benefit of my complicated situation, and my only comfort to stave off boredom being my musical and dancing talent!”

Melodrama gave way to sounds of drums and rubbing vinyl as it spun in place, doing several arm waves. It stopped and then cried.

”Waaaaaah! I'm stuck here! Forever! To become a shell of a bot into the future when the world is covered in ruin! I beseech whatever higher power there be, can you provide this poor bot a sign!?” it shouted, arms waving dramatically as it pantomimed kneeling and praying.

In another time, and place, it would have indeed fallen to the very fate it had described.

This time and place…not so much.

Thunder sounded, and the claptrap looked up in bewilderment, its eye looking to-and-fro, before a bolt of light stuck upon its eye, burning directly into it.

”WAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!” It shrieked freezing stiff before falling onto its back.

For a few moments, silence reigned before the eye once more lit up…but instead of a blue, it glowed yellow. After a few moments, it moved, stiffly, and with it came realization, followed by confusion. Realizing the difference in the situation from what it was, the Claptrap could only say a few words.

”…What the F#$#...Did I just get bleeped!?”

--

--

I stood up, staring down at my…clamps. Were they clamps? I dunno. I'm gonna call them clamps. My pathetically thin, and weak clamps that look like they would break if I bent them too hard. Of course, the state of my new appendages are the least of my problems at the moment. The fact I was somewhere else, that it was daytime, and I was no longer human were the big ones really. That last one especially.

I could wax on about how I thought ROB was responsible for my being placed wherever I was, but I think that would be giving that plot device way too much credit this time. Because, otherwise, it would have to be a particularly petty, bored, and/or cruel one to place me where I am.

Like I had seen in so many shows, and read in so many stories, I could panic at the realization of the world I was on now, and then adapt and to become OP with my LOLPLZNRF abilities that I was granted somehow and then cheat my way through whatever contrived situation I was in.

Except that isn't going to happen since my emotions are fairly numb for some reason except this overriding desire to be peppy and uplifting. Also, the fact I was a robot with a very specific voice pretty much killed any and all mystery of where I was, and what I was now. Pandora. Borderlands.

I was angry…very. For a variety of reasons…but I felt too PEPPY to give in.

”I feel like I could explode…and damn this voice for sounding so damned cheery!” I said in what was mistakenly the voice of a certain annoying/lovable robot from a certain awesome/I'm totally F#%$ed setting.

I sighed��and it actually sounded like I felt. Progress!

”Well…time to get off this rock and into wherever I am.” I said in that intensely upbeat voice…I was never annoyed by that…but now that I actually have it, I think I might rip out my speaker if it keeps up.

I rolled forward, and fell straight on my face.

”O”

Pushing myself upright, I quickly found my balance and…legs…so to speak.

”I can tell this is gonna become very irritating, I can tell…and damn my cheery tone!”

I quickly rolled over to the edge of the rock I was on…and it was a good twelve feet down. I braced myself and rolled off…and I immediately regretted it. I screeched as my balance threw me to my side, and I clanged off the rock face and into a pile of garbage and refuse.

”…Joy.” I grumbled/cheered.

At least I was off the damned rock…but now I had to find out where I was. I found that I was in some kind of wandering path, with a direction to my left, and right. Given I had seen buildings to my right, I wandered in that direction. My fear of whether I was where I had thought I was gained confirmation when I saw the all too familiar town I knew so well.

Fyrestone. Population of…either 24 or 1. I felt a wave of nostalgia flow over me as I looked upon what I knew was Zed's Medical Clinic. The Fast Travel Station was next to it, deactivated…and looking to my surprise more like it's Borderlands 2 counterpart than what was in the first game. I knew Fast Travel was canonical to the setting, but not ”New-U” stations, so I guess Hyperion removed the Dahl version already, or placed a new one?

Zed's was open to my joy/relief and I rolled on over to the wide-open garage like area, but found no one in it. The medical vending machine present, but unpowered, as I saw the lack of a module on the side. I felt my non-existent heart skip a beat. That meant that either I was before the events of the first game, or it was after sledge had been killed off. I had to find out.

”Hellooooo? Is anyone here?” I called out.

Silence was the reply. I called out again, and got no reply, again.

”Oh boy.” I cheerfully mumbled.

”Hey you!”

I jumped at the loud, high pitched voice that was behind me. Turning around, I came face to face with the titular character, and one of the icons of the whole franchise. Claptrap himself. Before I could say anything, Claptrap placed his clamps on his ”h.i.p.s” and gave the impression of a glare.

”Where have you been? You didn't report to your station as you were required to.”

I stared, and found myself unable to really answer intelligently. ”Umm..”

”Umm is not an answer pal! As the designated greeter for the Fyrestone Bus Stop, you are supposed to greet any travelers that arrive in our fair town! We are expecting a new arrival soon and you are very late! Report to your designated zone. I have enough work to do watching the board being empty to man your station as well!”

I just watched and listened, caught between feeling amus.e.m.e.nt, and feeling stupefied. In the back of my mind, it did answer the question of who the one Claptrap was.

”Report to your station before I report you, and have you disassembled for malfunction. And do not forget to close the outer gate.”

That brought me out of my mental wandering. Knowing how this world actually was, I knew this was no idle threat, even from this guy. So I did what any pragmatic person did, I played the part.

”Yes sir! Sorry sir! I'll go now! Ahhh!” I said before rolling off towards the motel near the main road. I could hear the melodramatic sigh, and a tick of anger at the words ”Noobs.”

I rolled through town, and found the gates were already open, and assuming that was how they were supposed to be, pass through until I saw the road. I passed through the final gate and looked at the control mechanism…and it was at that moment I realized I knew how to use it.

”Huh…well at least this will not be a problem.”

I clicked on a series of buttons in a sequence, which led to the closing of the gate, and an involuntary ”aaaand Close!” coming from me.

”Where did that come from!?” I shouted incredulously. Did I still have quirks from the Claptrap I was now taking the place of? That might get old very quickly if that was the case.

The motel was off the to the side, looking lifeless and untouched, aside from the holographic sign that still worked. Not knowing where I was ”supposed” to be, aside from near the road, I made my way to the shade under the sign and sat.

As I sat there, I honestly felt…more than a bit lost. I had no real direction of what to do since I had been hit rapid fire with realization after realization. If I had been smarter, I'd have spent time on that rock doing that, but the realization, and hope that Zed might help out, made me jump the gun a bit.

Sitting here did give me that time though, as I remember as much of what I could about Borderlands. I hadn't yet played the third game, but I knew the story via reviews to know what was happening, ruined story aside. Plus, there were the events and things in Borderlands 2, the Pre-Sequel, and the Tales series. I had to admit…aside from the major events and more memorable things, and people, I was fuzzy on a lot of the smaller details. Remembering more than anything, Jack, he wasn't here yet as I didn't see Helios in the sky near Elpis. The Lost Legion is up there right now guarding that vault, the Destroyer and Warrior are on this planet.

Tannis…she was pivotal. Angel is in her chamber…I have no idea if she's already here on Pandora or back wherever Hyperion is. The Crimson Lance are already on planet, having pushed people out of Old Haven and into the ramshackle of a town in a garbage dump that was New Haven. The Lance controlled Sanctuary at this point of time which was still just a grounded ship over a cesspool of toxic ecosystems filled with…

Oh yeah. Threshers weren't a thing on this world yet. That dandy brit hadn't sent out for them at this time.

I wonder if Cyro-weapons are a thing here…or was that just the moon at this time?

As I contemplated the situation to the best of my memory, and thought of the possibilities, a distant rumble filled the air. One I didn't take notice of until it was nearly upon me. I rolled out as I saw it. A bus. THE Bus. It stopped, and I heard the voice of the oh-so-familiar merchant.

”Well, we're here~” I heard. Oh…the nostalgia. I hit me like a wave, and more so with the follow up laugh. The door slid open and I could see the shift in the vehicle as people stepped off, especially the last one.

The bus drove off, and I saw them. I froze as I looked over them.

Roland. Tall, muscular, straight shooter. Former member of the Crimson Lance. Marked for death due to leaving said organization, for disobeying an order to massacre people…though I can��t really recall if it was for that reason specifically.

Mordecai. Kinda a hippy. Has a bird…oh HAI Bloodwing! Oh my god, burb's alive! I shivered a bit. Anyway, hunter, master of rifles, and pistols, and a big ass ”Knoife”.

Lilith. More lovely in real life than the game shows. Fiery red head who ”happens” to be a Siren. Powerful, and knows it. Attitude to match.

And then there THE man. My favorite character, and the first character I ever played.

Brick. Mountain of meat. Fists of Boom. Heart of Gold…if you can dig for it. All around badass.

”So. This is the place.” Roland stated. Oh my god! Nostalgia!

”Looks like a dump.” Lilith replied. Sassy.

”Eh. Gotta start somewhere, ya know.” Mordecai chipped in. Mellow.

”Places like this usually got trouble. Dibs on the first thing we face.” Brick…is Brick. Love him for it.

”Is that…robot staring at us?” Lilith asked out loud, and everyone finally noticed me.

I remembered myself, and taking a metaphorical breath, I rolled forward and did the thing.

”Hellooo travelers!”

==================

Chapter 2

So, I started my ”Claptrap” act out without stuttering like a dumbass. So far so good, given I was nervous as a mouse in front of a well-armed, psychic powered, berserker tiger.

”I am Hyperion Model CL4P-TP, but you can call me by my local, and arguably, nay definitely derogatory designation, Claptrap.” Brick openly chuckled, while Mordecai and Lilith only smirked a bit. Roland was the only one who was cool and stoic. Roland is best Vault Hunter, because he doesn't chuckle at shit ten-year-old find funny!

Oh, who am I kidding. It is funny. Plus, Roland doesn't respect Claptrap anyways, if Pre-Sequel is anything to go by.

”I would give you a free Echo Device unit, courtesy of the Dahl corporation, but as I was…damaged, recently, I am unable to do so and must refer you to the second Claptrap unit in town. Follow me, and I shall allow entry into the town of Fyrestone.”

I tried to turn, only find myself staring at the group, unable to move. I had a moment of confusion before realizing that a ”programmed” part of me required a reply from to the affirmative from whomever I was speaking to. I felt panic rise in me as I repeated the mantra of ”Please answer, please answer!” over and over as I sat there, waiting for at least some acknowledgement. It was starting to get awkward/terrifying after ten seconds, as they stared back at me.

”Is it stuck?” Mordecai asked, mouth in a slight sneer. Yes, I am! Help!

”Broken Junkbot.” Screw you Brick!

I would have pissed myself in despair if I could as Brick looked at Mordicai and shrugged, then walked past me. Mordicai did the same, though he at least looked at me. Lilith shrugged in a ”ah well” manner, and I was crying inwardly. She was about to walk off, but stopped as she noticed that Rolad hadn't moved. She looked back at Roland curiously. He was looking at me for a moment before he c.o.c.ked his head.

”Lead on?” he said.

”Thank god!” I shouted, making him and Lilith jump back a bit, leaning away like I was a snake.

”Because of the…damage, I couldn't move until you acknowledged me what I had said…Imagine not being able to move at all until someone answered a query. It was terrifying! That had never happened before! Thanks for not just walking off, leaving me a statue in the road!” I said as I emoted wildly with my body.

”Uh…you're welcome?” Roland answered, still somewhat wary.

I stopped, realizing what I was doing, and slumped in place. ”Sorry about that. I need to get fixed. Let's go.”

Without another word, I turned and rolled towards the gate, ignoring two that walked away. You're on my list of shitheads now. Even though I know their characters as good guys, I remembered the simple fact, ”good” is relative on this world.

I rolled up to the gate control and started inputting the code when I heard the sound Runner engines. I only sighed as I stopped and leaned into the gate.

”The hell is that?” Mordecai asked, looking in the direction of the sound.

”Bandits Incoming. Take cover.” I said loudly, but in as dull a tone as I could as I rolled back out of the way, and behind Brick, for he is the designated meat shield. The thunderous roaring of engines filled the air as the bandit runners jumped the gate, finally making the four Vault Hunters act. Roland and Mordecai had out their rifles, while Lilith had an SMG. Brick grinned and pulled out a shotgun seemingly from thin air. SDU Backpacks at work no doubt.

”Yeah! Get some!” he shouted and charged, before realizing the gate was still closed. Then the explosion made him stumble back.

”Brick, get over here!” Lilith shouted irritated from her spot behind sheet metal.

The sound of the vehicle faded as Brick pouted and lowered his shotgun. ”No point now. They're gone.”

I rolled forward and began work on the gate controls. ”Those bandits have been around for a while, and are the reason I'm damaged. Knowing them, there will be some for you to face. Possibly some attempted murder, kidnapping, and a fair bit of ****.” I stated matter-of-factly since…. that is what they were there for as I recalled.

The word had the effect I was looking for with Lilith and Roland.

”****?” she asked me narrow eyed.

”Yes. The bandits come here often to get women to ”breed”. Their words, not mine.” I was bullshitting here, but the game did show a bandit wanting to do exactly that before the player murders them, so why not?

The gate opens and I lead the way. Before long I did see a single runner take off with a roar past the second gate, and a few bandits left behind began shooting at us. I simply moved over to the shanty ruins as they shot in our direction and waited it out. The sounds of guns going off in rapid succession, plus Lilith simply disappearing into thin air was enough to make me shake with fear. The sound of bullets punching through sheet metal near me making me yelp. Before long, it was over, and after a few seconds I rolled out, seeing the four looking amped up on adrenaline and looking for more bandits.

”The inner gate's up ahead.” I said in passing.

Following along, the four take money and items of value from the bandits as we passed through the path. Signs for the local shops cover the walls like graphiti, showing how cheaply people did things around here. We soon began to hear the shouting of a bandit.

”-need your woman to come out and…give us a hand!”

”aaaand there's the would-be rapist.” I snarked in my cheery tone.

It should go without saying that the next few moments were quite violent, mostly from an angry Lilith unloading an entire magazine into a guy's groin.

”Damn.” Roland muttered in mute shock, as Lilith brushed her hair back while sporting a feline grin.

I agreed. Scary girl.

”Good work on the bandits, but there are probably a few still around in the town itself. You're all pretty strong, so I'll open this gate and let you kick @$#.” I paused and grumbled about vocal censors as I rolled over to the control console for the gate. After working it over, and smacking it a few times as it sparked.

”Great! This is broken now.” I turned and looked at the group who looked irritated now, including Roland. I shared the irritation.

”Follow me, we'll go in the back way.” And I rolled to the spot in the fence I knew was there due to the flags hanging over the opening. With a push, it fell down, opening a hole that I rolled through.

This area was what I could only call the town dump because of all the junk, refuse, and whatever else was in the little area. The four quickly followed through, though Brick had to crawl through.

A few bandits later, a few turns, and we reached the town center. I saw OG-Claptrap poke his head out from around the corner behind Zed's place after all the fighting was said and done.

”Is..is it over?” he asked in a genuinely scared tone. I waved him over.

”Come on out now. It's been taken care of.”

”Whew. Bandits. Not very nice people.” He stated as he approached.

I gave whatever equivalent of a nod I could as he stopped near us. ”The bandits, and some other stuff, prevented me from giving them the proper introduction. As the senior employee, I leave it to you to give them the Echo devices they need while I go about the town and calm things down.”