Part 19 (1/2)

”Get out,” replied the Missing Link. ”Call yourself an artist. Every pro.

has to suffer for his art. You have to suffer for yours, going short in your eating so as to keep in proper condition. You wouldn't have a fellow artist sacrifice his chance of becoming celebrated just because it isn't quite pleasant to you to be a spectator at the banquet?”

”Art he blowed!” said the Living Skeleton. ”Give we a yard o' tripe an' a scoopful iv mashed potatoos.”

”You aren't cut out for a public career. Matty you ought to abandon Living Skeletons and get a good eating part.”

”Wish t' 'eaven I could, but there's ther missus an' ther kids t' think of.”

”Well, you can turn your head away when the banquet scene's on.”

”What if I do; can't I smell it?”

There was no escape--poor Matty Cann had to be sacrificed to the requirements of art.

Professor Thunder spread himself to make the new act a success; he procured a clean tablecloth, and napkin, a crush hat and black opera coat (both second-hand) were purchased for the Missing Link. A table, a chair, crockery, edibles, a bottle of beer, a walking stick, and an eyegla.s.s were the rest of the properties.

When the Professor had explained to his patrons his gallant capture of the only living Missing Link in the jungles of Darkest Africa, and had put Mahdi through his paces, to the great amazement of the bucolic audience, he said:

”And now, ladies and gents. I have the pleasure of introducing to your notice an entire change of programme, exhihiting Mahdi, the Missing Link, in his wonderful act, called 'Civilisation.' You have, seen, ladies and gents, this here astonis.h.i.+ng animal showing the natural qualities of the brute creation; you will now be privileged to see that side of his nature which approaches more nearly to humanity. This act, I may tell you, ladies and gents, though a miracle of training, would not have been possible if wasn't that the Missing Link has a good deal of human nature in his composition.”

After this the opera cloak was handed in to the Missing Link, and he put it on with awkward, monkey movements; he donned the crush hat, put the eyegla.s.s in his eye, and with the walking' stick promenaded the cage with some uncouth affectations of humanity. Meanwhile, Madame Marve had carried the small table into the cage. She spread a cloth, put on a few articles, and offered Mahdi a chair.

The Missing Link sat down, took off his hat, and closed it. Then he examined the bill of fare, and pointed to an item. While Madame was fulfilling the order Mahdi lounged in his chair, playing with the serviette, which he took from the ring, and spread on his lap.

After this Nickie went through the process of ordering and eating a dinner, the aim being to do the thing not too humanly, but as a trained animal might do it, throwing in a good deal of coa.r.s.e humour, at which the audience roared.

The turn was a success, the spectators applauded vociferously.

”Ladies and gents. I thank you,” said the Professor, bowing. ”You have witnessed a triumph of teaching and training over brute animal nature, and I hope that when you go out you'll speak well of a show that has been in some measure the victim of a hireling press here in Wildbee.”

”A marvellous performance, indeed,” said a thin, shabby, sandy man, coming forward with a notebook. ”Almost miraculous.”

”True for you, sir.” said the Professor eyeing the man suspiciously.

”Perhaps you can tell me. Professor Thunder, what branch of the Simian family this--this creature of yours belongs?”

”Well,” said the Professor, ”he is said to be most closely connected with the gorillas.”

”Nonsense, man! Gorilla, rubbis.h.!.+ Look at that pelvis, sir, look at those arms. That's no more a gorilla than I am.”

”May I ask to whom I have the honour of speaking?” asked the Professor, in his coldly polite manner--his most superior professional att.i.tude.

”My name is Andrew McKnight, if that's any good to you. If that is a gorilla, sir, where are his vertebral processes, tell me that? And how comes it that his legs are almost as long as those of man?”

The Missing Link, who had doffed his airs of civilisation, and was now crouched in the straw, began snarling at this. It seemed almost as if Mr.

McKnight's criticism were making the poor beast angry.

”You must remember, sir, that this animal is not of any known species,”

said Professor Thunder, who had a large collection of stock phrases for such discussions. ”He is in a manner a creature apart.”