Part 23 (1/2)

”If you do not, I will flay you alive in front of the Dark Council, before they in turn flay me. ”

”Yes, Master. ”

”Abase yourself before me, ” he told her, ”and swear to me that the thought I see in your mind is not another reason I should kill you now. ”

She froze. All she had been thinking was that the hexes fought her as hard as they fought her enemies-harder, in fact, because she was a Sith. Surely, instead, they should have recognized her and held back. After all, Lema Xandret had created both of them. She had even named the s.h.i.+p after her daughter. They should be her allies, not her enemies.

Darth Chratis held her mind like an egg, ready to crack it with a thought.

She did exactly as he said, pressing herself face down onto the cold metal floor to reaffirm her allegiance to him.

”I remain your trustworthy servant, ” she said. ”I am yours to kill if you deem it fit. ”

She waited, hardly daring to breathe, and gradually the pressure eased.

”You shall live, ” her Master told her, ”for now. Find me the location of that planet. If you fail me again, I will show no mercy. Do you understand me?”

”Yes, Master. ”

”Leave. ”

She went.

Only when she was sure she had reached a safe distance did she dare think, You can expect no mercy from me. Master, the day our positions are reversed.

CHAPTER 25.

The very second the medkit bleeped to tell her its work was done, Larin slid her half hand free and headed for the refresher. She was tired and ached all over, but this couldn't wait. There was only so much she could ask of a self-cleaning body glove. A good rinse was exactly what it needed.

When she was done, she did as Ula had suggested, and looked through his suitcases for anything she might be able to wear. Much of it was formal wear and still vacuum-sealed in its original packaging. A lot of it was also made from more expensive natural fabric, and therefore not amenable to on-the-fly adjustments, but Ula wasn't significantly larger than she. Eventually she found dark blue pants and a matching jacket with a militaristic cut. The sleeves and legs came up to match her length, and the other measurements pulled in tight enough. With the black body glove underneath, she almost looked stylish-but for the bruises on her face and the missing fingers of her left hand.

Larin considered what she had told Ula she would do, and rejected it. She was tired, but knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. The first thing she'd noticed on leaving the refresher was that the s.h.i.+p wasn't moving. It was still in orbit about Hutta.

She explored the main level of the Auriga Fire. Hetchkee was sound asleep in the crew quarters, and like any good soldier hadn't been disturbed by her rummaging around. The soft male voices coming down the stairwell from the c.o.c.kpit belonged to Jet and Ula. All the holds she poked her head into were empty, bar one.

s.h.i.+gar sat cross-legged with hands folded across his lap and eyes closed. The silver sc.r.a.p sat innocently on the floor in front of him. His face was expressionless, but she could feel the tension radiating from him like an audible tw.a.n.g. He looked like she had felt half an hour earlier: exhausted, dirty, and beaten half to death.

She went and got the medkit.

”Your arm, ” she told him when she returned. ”How are you going to achieve anything if you bleed out here in the dark?”

Without moving a single other muscle, he opened his eyes.

”I can't do it anyway, Larin. ”

”You know, you'll never be able to prove that true, ” she said, holding the medkit at him like a challenge. ”All you can prove is that you've stopped trying. ”

”But if you distract me...”

”That's not the same thing as giving up. That's called a regroup. I'm your reinforcements. ”

His mask of concentration finally broke into a faint smile. ”I'd happily trade places with you. ”

”Me, too, ” she said, raising her injured hand.

He took the medkit from her without another word.

She explained the clothing situation while he tended his arm. He nodded vaguely. She slid down the wall and sat with her back against it. He didn't stop her. By the light spilling through the open door, he looked much older than she knew him to be.

”Everyone is waiting for me, ” he said as the medkit hummed away. ”Not just you and Master Satele. Supreme Commander Stantorrs, hundreds of soldiers and starfighter pilots, the entire Republic-waiting for me to do something I've never been able to do. Not properly, anyway. It conies and goes. It's not reliable. I can tell you where your armor came from, but this thing... ?”

The piece of droid-nest glinted impa.s.sively back at him.

”What about my armor?” she said.

”Once, when I brushed against it, I got a flash of its former owner. She was a sniper from Tatooine. She got a medal for taking out a local Exchange boss. ”

”What happened to her?”

”She didn't die in the armor or anything, if that's what you're worried about. ”

Larin nodded, feeling a small amount of relief. ”Maybe she was promoted out of the field and took the armor with her. That happens, sometimes. ”

”But she sold it, ” he said. ”Would she have needed the money that badly?”

”Her kids might have. It's old armor, s.h.i.+gar, last in action before the Treaty of Coruscant. Took me a lot of work to get it into the shape it was, let me tell you. ”

”You could've bought new armor anytime, ” he said, ”but you didn't want to. It's a symbol standing in for all the things that need to be fixed. ”

”Is that what you think?”

”Just a guess. ”

His green eyes watched her unblinkingly. She felt sometimes that they looked right into her. Sometimes she liked that feeling. Sometimes she didn't.

”You're thinking too much, ” she told him.

”That's what I've been trained to do. ”

”I'm sure it isn't. I'm sure the Grand Master trained you to think just enough, and no more. But the lesson hasn't quite sunk in yet because people only learn it the hard way. And that's where you are right now. Absolutely stuck, in a hard place. Right?”

Still he didn't look away. ”Maybe. ”

”Maybe nothing. You know you have to do something. You know what it is and you know why it has to be done. But you can't do it because you're too busy going over it and over it, making sure you're absolutely right. Most of you knows you are right, but there's a small part that wants to think it over one more time. The reasons, the method, the fallout. Whatever. Like you can plan everything in advance and then just sit back and watch it happen, so perfectly you don't even have to be there to do it. Things will just happen on their own. Maybe you don't need to do anything if you think about it hard enough. That's always worth hoping for. ”

”You're speaking from experience, I can tell. ”