Part Ix Part 155 (1/2)

The small white guy says, ”Excuse me but what did you say?”

The big dude looks down and says ”7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch d.i.c.k, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball. And my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, ”Thank G.o.d, I thought you said 'Turn around.'”

Under the Table.

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.

Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, ”Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, ”Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door.

v.i.a.g.r.a 1 liner.

The difference between Niagara and v.i.a.g.r.a? Niagara Falls.

If a man overdoses on v.i.a.g.r.a, how do they get the casket lid shut?

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking v.i.a.g.r.a may cause them to spin around and point north.

A man at the pharmacy to pick up his v.i.a.g.r.a prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: ”Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad.”

If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving v.i.a.g.r.a coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart?

Men are being warned not to take v.i.a.g.r.a with nitrates after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the balance of power in the region.

I dropped a v.i.a.g.r.a in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning had a jar full of big Kosher dills.

How many doses of v.i.a.g.r.a does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.

If you're depressed and think you might need v.i.a.g.r.a, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!

If I give my computer monitor v.i.a.g.r.a, will the screen get bigger?

For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with v.i.a.g.r.a, they're raising the dead!

I would only take v.i.a.g.r.a for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell.

Before v.i.a.g.r.a, for some people, making love was cla.s.sified as ”a.s.sault with a dead weapon.”

v.i.a.g.r.a is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

v.i.a.g.r.a Falls, the new waterfall that flows upward.

v.i.a.g.r.a, medicine's version of ”MIRACLE-GRO.”

Mix v.i.a.g.r.a and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.

Are you taking v.i.a.g.r.a or are you just happy to see me?

Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of v.i.a.g.r.a slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.

If however you do need to take v.i.a.g.r.a, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck.

A s.h.i.+pment of v.i.a.g.r.a was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals! They will face a stiff sentence when convicted and they'll surely be sent to a Penal Inst.i.tution.

A guy left his v.i.a.g.r.a tabled in his s.h.i.+rt pocket when he sent it to the laundry. Now, his s.h.i.+rt is too stiff to wear.

Did you hear about Levi's new jeans for Baby Boomer men?.... They come with just a ”v.i.a.g.r.a” more room.

Newsweek's' comments on the trade name Microsoft(r) ”Let's see... ”Micro” and ”Soft.” Needs v.i.a.g.r.a!”

The v.i.a.g.r.a computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive.

The v.i.a.g.r.a Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.

For women not-in-the-mood, California bars now have v.i.a.g.r.a-free zones.

New plans are being made to raise the t.i.tanic. Experts plan to pump it full of v.i.a.g.r.a, and expect it to come right up.

Scientists developed the idea for v.i.a.g.r.a after studying President Clinton's DNA.