Part 2 (1/2)
I hear the door close behind him, and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. Deep down, the niggling of my conscience remains-for all the win that tonight represents for Ari, that I am having s.e.x with my clients remains a problem I need to deal with.
Chapter 5.
Girl Talk ”Wait, so you mean a hot, polite man just showed up-Scottish, no less-and you didn't get his name and number? Who are you, and where have you taken my best friend?” Ella insists as we soak our feet in scalding, bubbling water.
I sit back in the pedicure chair, closing my eyes and ignoring Ella's disbelief. We'd agreed to meet for pedicures, as between the craziness of her work schedule with Elementary and Mia, we rarely got in any girl time. Now I regret telling her about last night. Well, I only told her about the Fin part of last night.
”You liked him.”
I snort. ”He was a rented d.i.c.k, Ells. He did the job.”
”You've mentioned him several times, including how good-looking he is.” She gave me a meaningful look. ”I recognize the signs of a Lux Trace crush.”
”Please. Like you would even know.” It sounds harsh even to my ears, but I'm wildly uncomfortable with her a.s.sumption. Did I say a lot about him? I might have mentioned his physique and accent a few times. A crush? Hardly.
Hmph.
”I daresay I would,” she responds dryly. ”In the eight years I've known you, there was Rob, Taylor, Guy, Rob number two, Jon, Jonathan, Jason, Justin, Eric, Evan-” She counts them off on her fingers.
I open my eyes and hold up a hand. ”Point made.” Jesus, have I really dated that many men since college? And those are just the Facebook status-update ones. Because I'm pretty sure there are a few more on top of the ones she mentioned, and that doesn't include recreational s.e.xy times. d.a.m.n. ”And all that proves is that I need to swear off dating. I can't make a single relations.h.i.+p work.” Evan was the closest I'd come to being happy, and even that hadn't been enough.
She widens her eyes in surprise. ”Lux...you just haven't met the right person.”
I shrug, then slosh my feet around the hot water. This deluxe pedicure chair offers a light show of colors in the water, so I focus on that rather than respond to Ella.
After a few moments, she lets it go. ”So, any more thoughts about Kinked?
The word itself causes a flutter in my gut. ”I'm almost done with the business plan. Noah said he'd review it tomorrow. It's still pretty intense, you know?”
”I think it's a great idea. Plus, it would put you more in charge of your career.”
”What's that supposed to mean? I'm already in charge of my career.”
Her blue eyes soften. ”That was a bad choice of words, Lux. I'm sorry.”
The sincerity in her voice shames me. Am I that hung up and miserable lately that I'm popping off at my best friend when she's just trying to be helpful? ”I'm the one who should be sorry. And I am. I'm in a bad head s.p.a.ce right now. It makes me cranky.”
She takes my hand and squeezes my fingers. ”Anything I can do?”
I return the gesture, then pull my hand from her grasp. ”Nope. Just gotta get through it. Tell me about the small one.”
Her face lights up. ”Which part? About how adorable and delicious she is? Or how exhausted she makes me?” She feigns sleep. ”I feel like I could sleep for a month. Oh, but let me show you...” She digs out her phone and pulls up her photo alb.u.m. ”Look at Mia's face this morning. Oh my gosh, her dimples are killer. Just like her daddy's.”
She shows me at least fifteen photos of the baby. She's adorable, but that's hardly surprising given her parents. I make the appropriate ohs and ahs over her pictures while I fight the envy that comes from seeing my friend's joy; in many ways, it's another reminder of how far away I am from having anything like that.
”You okay?”
I must've been silent for too long. ”Of course. I'm just blown away by your beauteous child.” I offer a small smile in the hopes that she'll forgive me.
One amazing thing about Ella-she always does. As the pedicurist returns to pretty-up our feet, she leans over and kisses me on the cheek. ”I'm here for you, you know.”
I nod, once again overcome with emotions I don't have anywhere to go with.
Charles requested a standing appointment with me. While I'm never one to turn down a regular, I'm surprised he made a decision that quickly. Most of my regular clients took a few weeks to warm up to having a regular meeting with a Mistress. Of course, he seems to be a man who understands his preferences and needs, based on our first meeting.
After our second session, I slip back into my trench coat and situate myself on the sofa in the suite's living room. That is another surprise with Charles-he has no desire to meet at my dungeon. Instead, he pays for an extravagant room at one of the most expensive hotels in the city. Hey, I'm not going to argue with him. Less clean up and room rental for me.
He dries his hands on a towel as he rejoins me in the living area. ”Thank you, Mistress Hathaway. Once again, you astound me with your skill.”
I bow my head slightly. ”Thank you, Charles. You were very well-behaved today. More so than the first session.”
His handsome face turns slightly embarra.s.sed. ”Yes, I admit, your punishment takes a bit to get used to. You have a firm hand with the whip.” When I don't smile, he rushes to finish, ”Which I greatly appreciate.”
I bestow a small grin, then stand. ”It's been my pleasure, Charles.”
”Would you mind having a cup of coffee with me? And I'm not propositioning you, Mistress Hathaway. I was wondering if you'd mind, when we meet, enjoying a few moments of conversation afterwards? You may charge me whatever you wish for your time.”
His request surprises me, but I don't sense any flirtation from him. He seems to want nothing more than a cup of coffee. It's an odd question, and I'd normally turn such a request down. But I hear myself say, ”For a few minutes.”
Room service comes within moments. Coffee dispensed, I sit back on the sofa and eye him where he reclines in a chair. ”So what did you wish to talk about?”
For the first time, he's a bit self-conscious, and he slides a hand through his wavy hair. ”I was hoping you'd tell me more about your work. I was... in a relations.h.i.+p with a Dominatrix years ago, but she... I'm not sure of a polite way to say it, so I'll just be blunt. She wasn't a healthy person. She took it too far, often, to the point that she had a breakdown. I've always wondered how you balance what you do against your relations.h.i.+ps? How do you embrace who you are in a world that is less than welcoming?”
His question hits me in an uncomfortable place. I wouldn't call myself the poster child for balancing your proclivities. He's right: some people lose themselves in the BDSM world in an effort to avoid dealing with life. ”I'm not sure I have the answer you are looking for, Charles. I've been involved in the BDSM world since I was a teenager. But I didn't find myself there to avoid anything, either. I was drawn to it because it spoke to who I knew I was. Does that make sense?”
With a nod, he takes a sip of his coffee. ”Perfectly. I always questioned whether she really was a Dom, or if she chose that road to avoid being hurt.”
”That very well may be. She wouldn't be the first person I've heard of who did so.” Sadness haunts his eyes. ”You loved her.”
After a pause, he nods slowly. ”I did. Very much.”
I sigh. ”I'm so sorry. This must have been hard for you-to seek me out.”
”It was... the first time I sought out someone to meet my needs in several years, yes.”
”I'm glad you did.”
”May I ask you one more question?”
The coffee still steams in the cup, so I nod. ”Of course.”
”I don't mean to be impertinent, and you may tell me it is none of my business. Have you found a way to have this,” he motions to the bedroom, ”and a healthy relations.h.i.+p at the same time? I've met quite a few people who engage in BDSM, but they've either not lasted as a couple, or they've found partners that allow them to play with others, rather than bring it home.”
”That's an excellent question. I have met people who are able to abalance' it, and quite successfully. So I wouldn't give up hope. But I've yet to find that harmony for myself.”