106 Flashbacks and angst attacks (1/2)

.... I'm losing track of time so there's nothing here. Times never really mattered much to me if darling isn't involved...alls somewhat void or like purgatory nothing matters to me as much as he does...if darling is the one that brings the colors of the world back into my eyes then Nero and Cerberus are water colors there faded but they can still show light into the grey void that is living. Actually being apart from hims made me start to realize some things sure my sense of times out the window. Yup I slept with a sword to my back out of what I now see as fear... I'd done that as a safety measure both for myself and the sleeping pups downstairs... I've also come to realize that my previous friendships were nothing but one sided clingy ness because I'd been so desperate and alone in the world my friends would bully me my family was...aggressive....Dante deleted all my previous contacts from my old life I don't care about that he'd probably only done that to try to keep me safe.

~he did that so there was a less likely chance of him massacring anyone who'd done wrong to his princess and literally anyone who hadn't stepped up to help her back then. So basically freakin everyone.~

*lilys sitting alone at a casino waiting for nocturne*

(I've been here for 20 minutes I probably was stood up...)

*she placed a hand on her stomach and sighed*

(Don't worry sweet pea daddy wouldn't ever do that to us)

A sudden brief flash of the past played in her head at the passing thought of the kid. It was just her being beat up again but the facial features had been blurred out like when a witness didn't want their faces shown on the local news.

*a wave of sickness and fear washed over her*

Was she even fit to be a mother? Would they just end up hating her like her family had before? Worse would she become like her mother or father had been to her in the past?

”Useless scum your nothing to us go back to the garbage where you belong you pathetic doll!!!”

*She flinched and shields her head with her arms while shaking*