Part 13 (1/2)

And can you tell me why, good sir, The birds receive no pay For singing sweetly in the grove Throughout the livelong day?

Why flow'rs should bloom about the place And give their perfume free, In so unbusinesslike a way, Seems very odd to me.

I cannot meet a single cow That charges for her milk, And though they are not paid a sou, The silkworms still spin silk.

While ducks and hens, I grieve to find, Lay eggs for nothing too, Which is a most ridiculous And foolish thing to do.

These problems often puzzle me; I lie awake at night, And think and think what I can do To set this matter right.

I've found a way at last, and though It may at first seem funny, It cannot fail--'tis this: _You_ pay, And _I'll_ collect the money.

CHAPTER X

THE WALLYPUG GOES TO WINDSOR

While they were all busy in the preparation of _The Wallypug's Own_, I thought it an excellent opportunity to run down to Folkestone in order to make arrangements for hiring a house, as I intended taking my guests to the seaside for a few weeks.

I felt a little anxious about leaving them to themselves, but hoped that they would be too busy and interested in the new magazine to get into trouble.

It was most unfortunate that I should have gone just then though, for directly I had left the Wallypug received a polite letter from one of the Court officials to say that the Queen would be pleased to receive his Majesty and suite at Windsor on the following day.

[Ill.u.s.tration: A ROYAL INVITATION]

Of course, as you may imagine, the Wallypug was in a great state of excitement at receiving this royal invitation, and wished to telegraph at once for me to return and advise them how to act and what to do, on this important occasion; however, the Doctor-in-Law, so I have been given to understand, persuaded his Majesty not to do anything of the sort, and added that I ”was always poking about and interfering, and was better out of the way”; so his Majesty, who was very anxious to do the right thing, consulted Mrs. Putchy as to the proper costume to be worn, and the etiquette to be observed.

”Well, your Majesty,” remarked Mrs. Putchy in reply, ”I scarcely know what to advise. When in my younger days, I acted as lady's maid to the Countess of Wembley, I know her ladys.h.i.+p wore a Court train and carried a bouquet when she was presented to the Queen.”

”Where did the engine go?” asked his Majesty curiously.

”The engine!” exclaimed Mrs. Putchy.

”Yes; you said she wore a train, didn't you?” said the Wallypug.

”Oh! but I didn't mean that kind of train,” laughed Mrs. Putchy; ”I meant a long sort of cloak fastened on to the shoulders and trailing along the ground at the back--they are generally made of satin and velvet, and are decorated with flowers and feathers and lace, and that sort of thing. Your Majesty's cloak would do nicely if I trimmed it for you.”

”But are you sure that gentlemen wear these sort of things?” inquired the Wallypug.

”Well, I couldn't rightly say, your Majesty, but I'm sure I've seen pictures of kings and such like wearing trains which were borne by pages, so I feel sure your Majesty would be safe in wearing one.”

So it was arranged that, after having been carefully brushed, his Majesty's velvet cloak was to be gaily decorated with lace and large bunches of flowers, and, to make the thing complete, a large bouquet was tied around his sceptre, and, at the Rhymester's suggestion, little knots of flowers were attached to the k.n.o.bs of his Majesty's crown.

The little man was highly delighted with his appearance when all these arrangements were concluded, and could get but very little sleep that night for thinking of the great honour which was to be his the next day.

The whole household was early astir in the morning, and at about eleven o'clock the carriage came to take the royal guests to the station.

Arrived at Waterloo, the Doctor-in-Law, after making various inquiries as to the price of the tickets, etc., actually had the meanness, despite the remonstrance of the railway officials, to insist upon the whole party travelling down third-cla.s.s, remarking that he ”found the third-cla.s.s carriages reached there quite as soon as the first, and a penny saved was a penny gained.”

The station master at Windsor was particularly put out about it, as, in honour of his Majesty's visit, the station had been gaily decorated and a carpet laid down to the carriage door. His Majesty, however, made a brave show as he walked up the platform preceded by the Doctor-in-Law, his gaily decorated train borne by the Rhymester, and followed by A. Fish, Esq., and One-and-Nine, the latter carrying a mysterious bandbox, which contained a present from the Wallypug to her Majesty. (See frontispiece.)