Part III (Secunda Secundae) Part 47 (1/2)

Obj. 2: Further, where greater love is given, greater love is due.

Now a mother loves her child more than the father does: for the Philosopher says (Ethic. ix, 7) that ”mothers have greater love for their children. For the mother labors more in child-bearing, and she knows more surely than the father who are her children.”

Obj. 3: Further, love should be more fond towards those who have labored for us more, according to Rom. 16:6: ”Salute Mary, who hath labored much among you.” Now the mother labors more than the father in giving birth and education to her child; wherefore it is written (Ecclus. 7:29): ”Forget not the groanings of thy mother.” Therefore a man ought to love his mother more than his father.

_On the contrary,_ Jerome says on Ezech. 44:25 that ”man ought to love G.o.d the Father of all, and then his own father,” and mentions the mother afterwards.

_I answer that,_ In making such comparisons as this, we must take the answer in the strict sense, so that the present question is whether the father as father, ought to be loved more than the mother as mother. The reason is that virtue and vice may make such a difference in such like matters, that friends.h.i.+p may be diminished or destroyed, as the Philosopher remarks (Ethic. viii, 7). Hence Ambrose [*Origen, Hom. ii in Cant.] says: ”Good servants should be preferred to wicked children.”

Strictly speaking, however, the father should be loved more than the mother. For father and mother are loved as principles of our natural origin. Now the father is principle in a more excellent way than the mother, because he is the active principle, while the mother is a pa.s.sive and material principle. Consequently, strictly speaking, the father is to be loved more.

Reply Obj. 1: In the begetting of man, the mother supplies the formless matter of the body; and the latter receives its form through the formative power that is in the s.e.m.e.n of the father. And though this power cannot create the rational soul, yet it disposes the matter of the body to receive that form.

Reply Obj. 2: This applies to another kind of love. For the friends.h.i.+p between lover and lover differs specifically from the friends.h.i.+p between child and parent: while the friends.h.i.+p we are speaking of here, is that which a man owes his father and mother through being begotten of them.

The Reply to the Third Objection is evident.

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ELEVENTH ARTICLE [II-II, Q. 26, Art. 11]

Whether a Man Ought to Love His Wife More Than His Father and Mother?

Objection 1: It would seem that a man ought to love his wife more than his father and mother. For no man leaves a thing for another unless he love the latter more. Now it is written (Gen. 2:24) that ”a man sh.e.l.l leave father and mother” on account of his wife. Therefore a man ought to love his wife more than his father and mother.

Obj. 2: Further, the Apostle says (Eph. 5:33) that a husband should ”love his wife as himself.” Now a man ought to love himself more than his parents. Therefore he ought to love his wife also more than his parents.

Obj. 2: Further, love should be greater where there are more reasons for loving. Now there are more reasons for love in the friends.h.i.+p of a man towards his wife. For the Philosopher says (Ethic. viii, 12) that ”in this friends.h.i.+p there are the motives of utility, pleasure, and also of virtue, if husband and wife are virtuous.” Therefore a man's love for his wife ought to be greater than his love for his parents.

_On the contrary,_ According to Eph. 5:28, ”men ought to love their wives as their own bodies.” Now a man ought to love his body less than his neighbor, as stated above (A. 5): and among his neighbors he should love his parents most. Therefore he ought to love his parents more than his wife.

_I answer that,_ As stated above (A. 9), the degrees of love may be taken from the good (which is loved), or from the union between those who love. On the part of the good which is the object loved, a man should love his parents more than his wife, because he loves them as his principles and considered as a more exalted good.

But on the part of the union, the wife ought to be loved more, because she is united with her husband, as one flesh, according to Matt. 19:6: ”Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh.”

Consequently a man loves his wife more intensely, but his parents with greater reverence.

Reply Obj. 1: A man does not in all respects leave his father and mother for the sake of his wife: for in certain cases a man ought to succor his parents rather than his wife. He does however leave all his kinsfolk, and cleaves to his wife as regards the union of carnal connection and co-habitation.

Reply Obj. 2: The words of the Apostle do not mean that a man ought to love his wife equally with himself, but that a man's love for himself is the reason for his love of his wife, since she is one with him.

Reply Obj. 3: There are also several reasons for a man's love for his father; and these, in a certain respect, namely, as regards good, are more weighty than those for which a man loves his wife; although the latter outweigh the former as regards the closeness of the union.

As to the argument in the contrary sense, it must be observed that in the words quoted, the particle ”as” denotes not equality of love but the motive of love. For the princ.i.p.al reason why a man loves his wife is her being united to him in the flesh.

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TWELFTH ARTICLE [II-II, Q. 26, Art. 12]

Whether a Man Ought to Love More His Benefactor Than One He Has Benefited?

Objection 1: It would seem that a man ought to love his benefactor more than one he has benefited. For Augustine says (De Catech. Rud.

iv): ”Nothing will incite another more to love you than that you love him first: for he must have a hard heart indeed, who not only refuses to love, but declines to return love already given.” Now a man's benefactor forestalls him in the kindly deeds of charity. Therefore we ought to love our benefactors above all.

Obj. 2: Further, the more grievously we sin by ceasing to love a man or by working against him, the more ought we to love him. Now it is a more grievous sin to cease loving a benefactor or to work against him, than to cease loving one to whom one has. .h.i.therto done kindly actions. Therefore we ought to love our benefactors more than those to whom we are kind.