Part 3 (1/2)
”You dig up anything to suggest a link toRustakov ?”
”Not yet.”Mendozabraked, checked for traffic, then swung the Jeep into adriveway on the left. ”This is it,” he said as he cut the engine. ”In a fewminutes you'll know.”
”Nights are the worst. I ... I hear her c-crying, and I get up to go to herbut-” BrendaBenteen's voice broke, and she buried her face in her hands.
Several of the other women seated in a ragged circle around the bas.e.m.e.nt roomfought their own tears. The newest member of the group, Anne Williams, astrikingly beautiful high-school senior who'd once dreamed of beingMissAmericabefore she'd had an illegitimate stillborn child, bit her lip a.s.she pa.s.sed the tissue box to the now sobbing Brenda.
Seated across the room,Ria waited for the woman to regain her composure andthought about the support group that had gotten her through those firstterrible months after Jimmy's disappearance.
The paralyzing grief was gone-time's greatest blessing-but the pain wasalways with her. There hadn't been a day pa.s.s when she didn't think about her child and wonder if he was happy and healthy. His memory was with herconstantly, even now. His lopsided smile, the soft brown eyes that sparkledwith life and happiness, the st.u.r.dy body that was always in motion.
Going back to work had saved her.
Wabash Women's Center had started small, offering support groups for newlydivorced women and single moms, plus confidence workshops and counseling,whichRia as a licensed social worker ran herself.Tova Jones,Ria's best friendand fellow Purdue alumna, ran the job-training program which included careerplanning and placement. Internist Dr. Katherine Stevens ran the open-doorclinic. Volunteers and teacher interns from Purdue supervised the preschooland day care programs.
Since the center had beenRia's idea, her fellow directors steamrollered herinto acting as chief administrator, which was a fancy t.i.tle meaning she got tospend fourteen hours a day juggling the bills and scrambling fordonations-when she wasn't filling in for the volunteers who helped staff theday care center or counseling new clients.
Brenda had first come to Healing Friends three months ago, her eyes still redand swollen, and her face pasty white from lack of sleep. Her attendance hadbeen sporadic since then. In spite ofRia's encouragement and support, however,the painfully shy twenty-three-year-old waitress had never been comfortableenough to say more than her name. Instead, she'd sat with her gaze focused onthe hands she kept tightly folded in her lap, listening intently to the othersas they poured out stories of pain and loss and grief.
Tonight, however, something seemed to have broken inside her, and wordsspilled out almost too fast for her to control.Ria considered it an extremelypositive sign.
”I'm s-sorry,” Brenda mumbled as she scrubbed tears from her blotchy cheeks.
”Never apologize for sharing your emotions,” she told Brenda gently butfirmly.
”Heck, no, honey,” exclaimed the imposing woman sitting to Brenda's right onthe shabby brown sofa.
CalpurniaGlendonwas six feet two inches of exuberant, outspoken, gloriouslyflamboyant female who was fond of brilliant colors and large, clunky jewelryshe designed herself. Eighteen months earlier, on Christmas Eve, she'd losther husband and twin sons in a fire. She'd been in the group from thebeginning and now acted asRia's co-facilitator. ”Me, I blubbered my eyes outfor the first six weeks I was here.”
”Actually, I think it was more like eight,”Ria said, thanking her with alook. Callie grinned before she turned back to Brenda, who was now busilykneading the used tissue in nervous fingers. ”It's all right, Brenda. Takeyour time. We're here to listen.”
Brenda nodded, then cleared her throat. ”Missy was just lying there, like ...like a little doll baby. I'd just gotten her this little pink sleeper, and shelooked so sweet. Even ... even Monk thought she looked real nice like. 'Wake up,little lazy bones,' I said, and then bent down to kiss her on the little tuftof hair, like I always did, you know? And then I noticed she ... she-” Shefaltered to a stop, her face twisting with anguish.
Riaached for the suffering woman. The other seven women in the support group waited, their expressions uniformly solemn.
”Is Monk your husband?” Annie asked in a timid voice.
”For almost a year now.” Brenda dropped her gaze to her hands. ”My mother,she keeps saying he's no good because he didn't want the baby at first, buthe's a real good guy, Monk is.”
Callie snorted. ”Get your head outta the clouds, girl. The man threatenedtoleave you if you didn't stop coming to our group here.”
Brenda brought her head up to glare at the older woman.Ria dropped her gaze,hiding her surprise. Callie and Brenda had obviously spoken outside of cla.s.s.It happened that way, sometimes. Callie took her responsibility seriously andoften phoned members of the group when they were absent, to check on them.
”I told you, Callie,” Brenda declared with a rare pa.s.sion, ”he didn't meanit. He just gets these moods sometimes. From all the stress and stuff he wentthrough in Desert Storm. And he has terrible headaches, he can't sleep and oreat and the littlest noise hurts something awful, which is why I know hesometimes-” She broke off to bite her lip.
”Sometimes what?”Ria probed in a gentle tone.
Brenda darted a nervous glance around the room before dropping her gaze tothe tissue she was shredding. ”Nothing,” she muttered, her shoulders stiff.
”He hits you, don't he, girl?” Callie declared, her voice flat.
”No! That's a mean thing to say.”
”Ain't mean if it's true.”
”Well, it's not!” Brenda twisted in her chair, her face contorting. ”You'rejust like that policeman, trying to make me say things about Monk that aren'ttrue.”
Riacaught Callie's quick glance. ”What policeman, Brenda?”
Brenda started. ”The one the paramedics called when they ... after...” Shestuttered to a stop, her face losing the color her outburst had brought to hercheeks. ”The cop, he kept asking me did Monk ever lose his temper with Missy?I told him Monk yelled sometimes, but it's like, he's got a right, you know?Him working so hard to provide for me and the baby and all.”
Riafelt a chill. ”Are you saying the authorities think Missy might have beenmurdered?”
Brenda flinched. ”The coroner, he said it was natural causes. You know,SIDS?” She glanced up, her expression beseeching and a little lost. The otherwomen nodded their understanding.
”At least your husband hung around,” Annie said in a thin voice. ”Myboyfriend split as soon as he found out I was pregnant. Quit school and joinedthe Army.”
”How about your folks?” Sylvia asked quietly.
From the corner of her eyeRia saw the relief that pa.s.sed over Brenda's faceas the group's focus s.h.i.+fted away from her. For the rest of the hour Brenda stared in silent misery at the floor, alone with her own memories. As soon asthe meeting ended, she bolted from her chair and headed for the door.
Riahad been giving Annie a hug when she saw Brenda rush past. ”Excuse me aminute, Annie,”Ria said, hurrying after the fleeing woman.
She caught up with her an instant before Brenda reached the stairs leading tothe ground floor.
”Brenda, wait!”
Brenda spun around, her face ravaged by tears. ”It wasn't my fault,Ria .Missy was almost out of diapers, and I had to go to the market for more. Sheusually slept a couple of hours, so I figured I'd be back before she startedto cry.”
She swiped at her wet cheeks with a trembling hand. She was clearly agitated,which was understandable. It was the raw fear in Brenda's pale blue eyes thathad alarm bells ringing inRia's head.
”Did she cry a lot?” she asked with a gentle smile.
Brenda nodded. ”It wasn't so bad when Monk was on the road, but when he'shome, he needs his sleep, you know? 'Specially after he's been out on a longhaul.” She stopped, her gaze darting pastRia's shoulder. ”I've got to go.”BeforeRia could stop her, she turned and raced up the stairs.
”There's bad stuff going down in that girl's life,” Callie said as shereachedRia's side. ”Might be we don't see her again.”
”We can't force her to come,Cal. All we can do is be supportive when she'shere.”
While Callie collected several foam cups that had been left under thechairs,Ria emptied the coffee urn into the sink in the small rest room at theend of the hall and wiped it clean.
In the room opposite,Tova was conducting a job skills seminar. One floor upin what had once been the living room, dining room and kitchen, Kate washolding evening clinic. The Center was open until nine.Ria rarely made it homebefore eleven.
”I sure do hate what I'mthinkin ',” Callie murmured as they climbed thestairs side by side.
When they reached the foyer, they stopped. The door to the clinic's waitingroom was open, andRia noted that most of the seats were filled. For the pastsix months Kate had been lobbying for a physician's a.s.sistant, but the budgetwas already stretched tissue thin.
Callie s.h.i.+fted her huge tapestry purse from one shoulder to the other. ”Whenare you doing your back-to-nature gig? Tomorrow?”