Part 19 (1/2)

Either way, Kieran would have perished.”

Ewan sat there in silence as he contemplated her words. He knew she was right and there were many nights when he lay awake cursing and hating Kieran for what he'd done. Hating his brother for leaving him behind to feel this pain and guilt.

But it didn't stop what he felt in his heart.

It was there that he saw the brother he'd known. The boy who had helped him make mischief on Braden and Lochlan. The man who had taken him aside and introduced him to drinking and gaming.

There was seldom a happy memory of his childhood and youth in which Kieran wasn't a large part.

He had respected and loved Kieran. And he had paid his brother back by stealing away with his woman in the dark of night.

Ewan growled at the fierce pain stabbing his gut and heart. Unable to stand the weight of it, he got up and headed for the woods to be alone.

He wanted to run away from it. He wished he could just bury the past and forget all that had happened.

But there was no escaping it.

No matter what Ewan did, it was always there. Hurting. Aching. Demanding and bleak. It accused him of being wrong and told him how worthless he was. How he had wronged his entire family.

Drinking was the only way to reduce the pain of it.

Drinking was all he had now.

”Ewan?”

”Leave me alone, Nora,” he growled without pausing. ”I need to be by myself.”

”Ewan,” she repeated, her voice more insistent.

He turned to face her.

She came to stand before him, her face pale and concerned in the moonlight. ”I think you're a good man, and if Kieran was half the man you are, then 'tis a shame he's no longer here. Isobail was a great fool if she failed to see that.”

Her words reached out to him in a way nothing had in a long, long time.

She moved toward him, slowly, like a wraith in the night's mist.

”Don't touch me, Nora,” he breathed as she reached to touch his face.

”Why?”

”If you touch me, I'll kiss you, and if I kiss you right now, I'm not sure I'll have the strength to pull back and be satisfied with just the taste of your lips.”

Nora trembled at his whispered words.

By the light in his eyes, she could see the truth of it. He wanted her.

Part of her wanted his touch, and part of her was terrified of it. She was terrified of what she felt for him.

Here there were no lies. No hiding.

She could lie to Catarina, but not to herself.

Nora had never been with a man, and until now she'd never really felt anything more than a pa.s.sing curiosity about a man's touch.

But for some reason, she was more than just curious about Ewan.

What would it feel like to hold a man like him?

One who was wild, untamed?

One who could make her quiver with nothing more than the sound of his deep, rich voice?

Would he be gentle with her or would he mount her like an animal whose only desire was to sate himself?

Touch him and see...

She stood in indecision. The air between them was rife with desire. Rife with need and hunger. Both of them wanted it.

All she had to do was reach out and take it.

She stepped back.

He released a relieved breath. ”Go back to camp, la.s.s,” he said. ”I'll return shortly.”

Nora watched him get up and leave.

Heartsick over what had happened and over the fact that she was a coward, Nora made her way back to camp, where Catarina was waiting.

”Are you all right?” Catarina asked.

”Honestly, I'm not sure.” Nora glanced back in the direction of where Ewan had been. ”I can't understand what it is about Ewan that lures me so. It's rather baffling.”

”No mystery there. He's a fair one, to be sure. Strong and handsome as any.”

”I've been around many handsome men in my life, but none of them...” Nora couldn't bring herself to say it.

Catarina arched a brow. ”None of them what?”

”Nothing,” she said hurriedly. ”I am being foolish.” Nora excused herself to go sleep on her makes.h.i.+ft pallet that Ewan had readied for her by the fire.

The ground was cold and uncomfortable, but she did her best not to notice that, while her mind replayed everything that had happened between her and Ewan since the moment they met.

Catarina went to bed and Nora listened as the three men related to Cat snored rather loudly. She had a feeling Pagan slept lightly, if he slept at all. There was something about him that seemed vigilant even while he rested.

For hours she watched the stars cross the sky all the while Ewan didn't return.

Ewan lost track of time while he lay in a small clearing, staring up at the sky. He should go back to camp, but he had no desire to be there, where he would be forced to stare at something he couldn't have.