Part 29 (1/2)

Weary, Simon sighed. ”What specifically are you talking about? Don't you agree Domenico should stay behind this time?”

Jules frowned. ”Of course, I agree. I'm happy to make this voyage, to command one of the s.h.i.+ps returning to France. Sabine agrees with the decision as well.”

”I'm delighted to hear your wife approves of my selections. Mind getting to the point?”

”My point is Angelica. Sabine tells me of this insane decision to take her back.”

”This is none of your concern. Leave it alone.”

”You are my concern. As your friend, I cannot watch you do this and remain silent. I watched you at the feast after the bachelors' compet.i.tion. I saw you the next morning too. I've never seen you look so happy. Any fool can see how much you love her.”

The words sliced through Simon like cold steel, opening the gaping gash inside him a little more.

”You are mad,” Simon forced out. ”And you are acting as though my intentions toward her are ill. I plan to take her back, restore her estate, her standing, and take revenge on the man who...stole it from her in the first place.”

”But it is not what she wants.”

”Once she is in France and has reclaimed her rightful place in society, she will feel differently.”

”You jest!” Jules shook his head. ”Simon, you are the most stubborn... Just because n.o.bility has meant everything to you, does not mean that it means everything to everyone. Forget this nonsense and marry her.”

”You have gone mad.” Simon quickly tossed back the remainder of the brandy from his goblet and filled it again, desperately wis.h.i.+ng it would quell his emotions. d.a.m.n Jules. Why was he putting him through this?

”You love her.”

Jules's words sent a painful jolt through him. Simon slammed down his goblet on the desk, the liquid slos.h.i.+ng out. ”Enough!”

Jules set his palms on Simon's desk and leaned forward. ”Look me in the eye and tell me she's no more than a good f.u.c.k.”

Simon rose to his feet. Through clenched teeth he growled, ”I'm warning you.”

”She loves you.”

Simon shook his head, shutting his heart and ears to those words. ”She will gain back all that she has lost, all the advantages of her birth. She will then be able to marry someone of her own social station. It is the right thing to do.” He fought back the misery, trying to ignore how each word cut into him.

”Merde! Ask her. Before you make the decision to give her up, ask her if she loves you.”

He couldn't do it. If she told him she loved him, he doubted he would have the strength to walk away. If she said that she did not, it would be too painful to bear.

”Ask her to marry you, and you will see the truth of my words.”

”Jesus-Christ, Jules. Marry the daughter of a count to the son of a fisherman? Would you have her entire ancestry turn in their graves?”

Jules straightened and let out a frustrated sigh. ”You may not be a n.o.ble, but you are a rich man. You can provide for her as well as any Aristo.”

”Only you and Robert know that I have chased after betterment. That dream is over. I must accept that I'm a commoner and shall remain that way. She deserves better. You of all people should understand, Jules. You were born an Aristo and then you were stripped of it. How did it feel to be nothing? Would you have me do that to her? Take away her n.o.bility by marrying her?”

”Yes, I felt worthless once, and it was you who gave me the opportunity to change my life. Then I met Sabine. Now, when I look into her eyes, and I see her love for me, I feel greater than the king. Look into the eyes of your highborn lady and see that she adores you. Allow her to decide which she wishes to lose-you or social standing.”

”I will not diminish her in anyway. I do not wish to marry her.” Another sharp pain wrenched inside him. G.o.d help him, he was resolved to reject Jules's words at all cost, especially when Simon knew he couldn't keep her.

”Oh no, you wish it,” Jules countered, ”and you will wish it with each and every piece of your shattered heart, and on your final day, with your final breath, you will die still in want of it.”

”This conversation is over.” Simon started toward the door. Jules grabbed his arm.

”You feel unworthy of her because you are carrying Fouquet's sins on your soul. You didn't harm those people; he did. As for Thomas, he took a risk because-”

”-of me!”

”No! Because he wanted more too. He wanted bigger and better things out of life. He wouldn't want you to bear any guilt over his death. If you must have n.o.bility before you will marry Angelica, then go to France and get it. Demand it from the king.”

”The war is over, Jules. Haven't you heard?” Simon asked caustically. ”There isn't a demand for naval officers at the moment. Besides, I want no part of captures and battle any longer. The realm is at peace, and I will return the wars.h.i.+ps and provide the king's share of the silver from La Estella Blanco-to Louis personally. There are important matters I must speak to him about. While I'm in France, I not only plan to help Angelica but also to destroy Fouquet.”

”You are going to destroy Nicolas Fouquet? Have you received a blow to the head recently? Couldn't you simply get over your guilt and bargain the island to Louis to gain n.o.bility and perhaps a t.i.tle?”

”It's time to send the devil to h.e.l.l so that he can stop imposing it on others. As for Marguerite, France isn't interested in the islands here, and it's a good thing. I wouldn't bargain Marguerite away and place it under royal control. I don't want to see royal governors here ruling these people, creating the civil unrest and other problems that have occurred on the other French islands. That's the last thing these people deserve. They don't need oppressive lords.”

Besides, there was no guarantee that Louis would enn.o.ble him, no matter what he did.

”Fine. However, Louis is taking a more active role in his kingdom now. You have a sharp mind, Simon. I've seen you outwit the enemy in battle countless times. Now a new challenge lies before you. Convince the king, obtain your letters of n.o.bility, and claim your prize-a beautiful woman who will bring you joy into your old age.”

Dieu, Jules made it sound so simple, yet it was not. Simon couldn't bring himself to claim ”the prize.” Not her. If she knew the extent of what he'd done while he'd chased his ambitions, she'd turn away from him, horrified.

The battle she'd witnessed was but a small sampling.

He was willing to risk everything to unseat Fouquet. He was willing to risk everything to regain Angelica her stolen life and make her stepfather pay, but he wasn't willing to dishonor her by marrying her as a commoner.

”I cannot marry her,” he said, each word agony.

”Then you have condemned yourself to a life devoid of any true happiness.”

Chapter Twenty-Two.

Simon watched Angelica as she stood on deck gazing out at the sea long after the sh.o.r.es of Marguerite had disappeared from view.

If she had shed a tear, he hadn't seen it. She'd walked through the saddened crowd on the beach, accepting flowers and good-byes from them with composure, grace, and a strength he admired-and drew from, to aid his flagging strength. She'd consoled others with quiet fort.i.tude, and it destroyed him a little further to see her step foot onto the tender, leaving the sh.o.r.es of Marguerite.

Simon walked across the deck and slipped his arms around her waist. ”Are you all right?”

She turned in his arms to face him. ”As all right as you, it would seem.” Dieu, he felt miserable, but he hadn't meant for her to see it.

He looked out at the sea, remaining silent.

”Tell me, Simon, do you truly wish for what we have to end?”

”No.” He couldn't lie to her. ”But it has to.” He forced out the words.