Part 29 (2/2)

”Don't start that. What they can. Tomorrow I'll be on the sidelines while they improvise.”

”I know how you feel.”

Before she responded she ladled coq au vin onto the plates, wheeled the trolley into the main room, switched on the light over the dining-table and set out the plates, and then she said ”What's wrong?”

”I'm. ...8 ”Go on, Roger. Whatever it is, it's better out than in.”

”I'm sure I spoke to Lesley and Vanessa.”

”What makes you say that?”

”You just did.” ------------------------------------439 ”Don't tell me if you don't want me to know.”

”I dum,” Speke said, draining the c.o.c.ktail and wrenching the cork out of a litre of Argentinean red. ”Someone answered the phone and I thought it was Lesley, but it turned out to be the daughter.”

”Why are they on your mind again after all this time?”

Speke topped up her winegla.s.s and refilled his own. ”Because I spoke to the husband as well. I can't believe Lesley could have got involved with someone like that, let alone married him.”

”Well, all of us--was Stef silenced herself with a mouthful of dinner. After more chewing than Speke thought necessary she said ”Someone like what?”

”By the sound of him, an ego with a mouth.”

”Some partners cope with worse.”

”But if she can handle him, why couldn't shum-- Besides, what about Vanessa? She must still be at school, she shouldn't be expected turn--was ”Roger, we agreed you'd try and put them out of your head.”

”Wum,” Speke said, not so much a stutter as a deliberate attempt to shut himself up, and drained his wine in order to refill the gla.s.s.

Once he'd opened a bottle of dessert wine to accompany the ice cream it seemed a pity to cork it after only one gla.s.s. Stef allowed him to replenish hers when it was half-empty, but placed her hand over it when he tried again. ”I have to get up early,” she said.

He was was.h.i.+ng up the dinner things when it occurred to him that he'd heard a plea in her voice because she wanted them to make love. When he found his way into the bedroom, however, she was asleep. He switched off all the lights and considered watching television, but the prospect of consuming images on a screen--images which were lifelike and yet no longer alive--had lost its appeal. He sat at the dining-table and finished the bottle while gazing out of the window at the neighbouring tower blocks. The window resembled a screen too--perhaps a computer display on which enigmatic patterns of luminous rectangles occasionally s.h.i.+fted at random--but at least he could see no faces on it, not even his own. When he'd emptied the bottle he sat for a time and then took himself to bed.

He awoke with a sense that someone had just spoken to him. If Stef had, it must have been more than an hour ago, when she would have left for work. Sunlight streamed into the room, catching dust in the air. Speke sat up and waited for his equilibrium to align itself with him; then he performed several tasks gingerly--showered, shaved, drank a large gla.s.s of orange juice, ate cereal heaped with sugar and swimming in milk, downed several mugfuls of black coffee that shrank the image of his face--before he set ------------------------------------440 about tidying up. He dusted everything except the bottles behind the bar, since they hardly called for dusting. He went once through the rooms with the large vacuum cleaner and then again with its baby. He loaded the was.h.i.+ng machine and, when it had finished, the dryer. He rearranged the plates in the kitchen cupboard and the cutlery in the drawers, and lined up tins of food and packets of ingredients in alphabetical order. He found himself hoping that all this activity would keep him there until Stef came home, but the only company he had was the persistent sense of having just heard a voice. Before Stef returned it was time for him to leave for work.

The late afternoon sky, and presumably the sun, was the same colour as the extinguished bulbs above the car park. All the colours around him, such as they were--of cars, of leafless saplings, of curtains in the windows of the chalky tower blocks--appeared to be about to fade to monochrome. If he walked fast he would be at work on time, but if he drove he might feel less exposed. Though he drove slowly he was able to glimpse only a handful of faces, all of which seemed unusually remote from him.

Several of his colleagues were already in the long room, draping their jackets over the backs of their chairs or tipping the contents of polystyrene cups into their faces. As Speke aligned the forms and the directory with the lower edge of the screen on his desk the supervisor beckoned to him, hooking a finger before pointing it first at her mouth and then at her ear. ”Yes, Mrs s.h.i.+llingsworth,” he said when he felt close enough to speak.

”Pore.”

”Pum.”

”Mr Pore. Mr Roger Pore. Does the name convey anything to you?”

”Yes, he booked a month's free trial last night.”

”You're standing by that, are you?”

”Yes, I should say sum. He was my only catch.”

”And you felt you had to give me one.”

”Shouldn't I hum?”

”Only if it stands up. His wife says he never spoke to anyone.”

”She must have got it wrong, or the engineers did. They're only engineers, num--was ”It was I who had a word with her, Mr Speke, because there were things on your form I didn't understand. Was it a Scotsman you spoke to?”

”A Sc.u.m? No, he sounded more like me.”

”Mr Pore is a Scotsman.”

”How do you know if you spoke to his wife?”

”They both are. I heard them.” ------------------------------------441 ”What, his wife sounds like a Scotsmum? I mean, I'm sorry, I must have, maybe I--was ”I should try harder tonight if I were you, but not that hard,” Mrs s.h.i.+llingsworth said, gazing at him over the form which she had lifted from the desk and crumpling it above her wastebasket before letting it drop.

”You aren't me,” Speke mumbled as he headed for his desk. He was sitting down when he realised he had walked too far. About to push back the chair, he grabbed the directory instead and turned quickly to the page corresponding to his a.s.signment. Pontin, Ponting, Pool, Poole ... He made himself run his gaze down the column more slowly, but there was no entry for Pook.

”Old directory,” he told himself, and moved to the desk on his left, where he checked that the directory was up-to-date before heaving it open at the same page. Ponting, Pool. He lowered his face to peer at the names as though the one he was seeking might have fallen through the s.p.a.ce between them, then he dodged to the next desk, and the next. Ponting, Pool, Ponting, Pool... He didn't know how long Mrs s.h.i.+llingsworth had been watching him. ”There you are,” she said briskly, indicating the blank screen on his desk.

He ran at his chair and flung the directory open. ”Mrs Pook,” he repeated over and over under his breath until he heard himself saying ”Mrs Spook.” Between Ponting and Pool was an etched line of black ink wide enough, he was almost sure, to conceal a directory entry. He was holding the page close to his face and tilting the book at various angles in an attempt to glimpse what lay beneath the ink when he realised that the supervisor was still watching him. ”Jum, jum--was he explained, and fumbling the handset out of its stand, hastily keyed the first unmarked number.

When the screen flickered he thought he'd called a videphone at last, but the flicker subsided. ”Poridge?” a voice said.

”Just cornflakes for me.”

”Begp?”

”Um sum, I'm speaking on behalf on behalf of Face to Face Communications and I wonder if, fum. If you can spare me a few minutes.”

”Sugar?”

”What?”

”Lots of it for your cereal, sugar.”

”How did you know? What are you making out?”

”I think that's enough sweetness,” Mr Poridge seemed to respond, and terminated the call.

Speke was grateful to be rid of the voice, whose feminine sound he hadn't ------------------------------------442 cared for. He memorised the next number and turned the directory in an attempt to shed some light on whatever the line of ink concealed as he placed the call. ”Pork,” a woman told him.

”Ypig.”

”What's that? Who's this?”

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