Part 12 (1/2)
”Oh, I thought you were way more popular.”
”I did warn you,” I add gently, but I feel ridiculously upset that I've disappointed her. ”If it helps, Mich.e.l.le and Corey are both awesome. You'll see. We always hike when we can. I also get free use of bowling lanes, skating rinks-whatever I want from the sports complex. Finding places to do the dates should be easy. Do you skate? Ice, or roller?”
”No way. Never. Neither. And it's not happening.” She hits me with the dangerous *back off' glare I'm getting used to ignoring.
”Lose that idea. It would make no sense if I didn't take my girlfriend skating. If we don't use the rinks, Corey and Mich.e.l.le will know something's up. I think ice is more fun than roller because it's so much colder, and I'm so very warm,” I tease and toss her a wink.
”Eew. And eew.” She shudders. ”That's flirting again. I swear I'll dock your pay. Don't forget the part where you said I could hit you. I have an extreme right hook. I'll use it. Final warning.”
”Right. Bad habit, and complete accident, again.”
She frowns, but doesn't answer. I can tell she feels betrayed, and she should. I only want this girl to trust me but I keep messing up. ”I'm sorry. Truly,” I plead again.
Should I tell her I want to hit myself really hard right now? Why does it only take two minutes of this girl smiling into my eyes to make me forget none of this is real? Not to mention she's just asked me not to flirt with her. ”But you will skate,” I add, forcing myself right back on task. ”We'll do roller. Okay?”
She shrugs. ”It's your funeral. Whatever you think will seem realistic, but know this: innocent children will die, limbs will break, and walls will come cras.h.i.+ng down.”
”Impossible.” I grin, pleased she's considering it. ”I won't let you fall. Besides, if you get hurt you'll miss the annual ThunderLand fun. It's an all day trip we always make to Fort Collins every summer. It's a perfect opportunity for everyone to witness...to our love.” I wink, and then flush when she glares bullets at me. ”Right. Sorry. Sorry.”
She shakes her head and smiles. ”ThunderLand!” Her smile changes into a huge beam that hits her eyes. I realize this is the first time I've ever seen this expression on her face. She still looks tired, but I think she's happy. Really happy. It's like all her defenses are down. My heart catches when I think some of that happiness might be because of me. Our contract. Because we are beginning to know each other.
She continues, ”I've never been there. But we've been to Disneyland a few times. I love the coasters-going fast, cotton candy, boardwalk games, listening to the rides roaring from every direction...and...”
”Don't stop. And what?” I lean on my own elbow, enchanted by the dreamy excitement crossing her face.
”I don't know...to get to go with...”
Her eyes return to my face. She freezes for a second like she's been doused with cold water, and I wonder if she too, is forgetting off and on that this is a paid arrangement and we really aren't close friends. Real friends.
Yet. I think. Yet.
”To go...just to go...will be really cool,” she finishes in a much more subdued voice. She reaches for her yearbook and finds our cla.s.s section. ”Does Corey have a girlfriend?”
I take note of her deliberate subject change and applaud her. She's as good at that as I am. ”Corey's got a bad crush on Mich.e.l.le, but she won't give him the time of day. I'm all for it if they go out. But...if they ever broke up and hated each other it would be the end of my world. I'm actually glad you and I are going to be a couple for the summer. It will be nice to have an excuse not to feel like such a third wheel around the two of them while they figure out what's going on.”
”What is going on?”
”Mich.e.l.le destroyed Corey's heart with the *I just want to be friends' line a few months ago. Personally, I think she's in denial. Girls go through that denial stage, don't they?” I shoot her a grimace.
”No idea.” Jess grimaces back.
”Either way, Corey's still hanging around and doing back flips, trying to change her mind. You'll see. It's weird. Entertaining, but weird.”
”Has any girl ever said the *just friends' line to you?”
She's asked it so naturally I see no reason not to answer truthfully. ”I'm the one that uses that first. Like I said, I don't have that kind of time.”
”Wow. Right.” She blinks. ”Can I be the first to use it when I break up with you?”
”Only if you mean it. It would be cool if we could be friends after this.”
She doesn't answer. She flips to Corey's photo in the yearbook. ”Nash. Here he is. Cute. Blond, blue eyes-a great smile, and a little dorky too. My mom will be thrilled when she sees this shot. He's also in the chess club and an Eagle Scout! Believable, and so me. Nice to meet you, Corey Nash.” She holds out her hand, and we shake. ”And he won't know? Swear?”
”Swear. He's been like my brother since we were seven. If I do have to tell him, you can trust in his silence.”
”No way. It's bad enough I have to trust you,” she says.
I feel slightly sick because every time trust comes up between the two of us, I'm well aware I'm a hypocritical, lying freak. Coach William's was right. This situation is going to be harder than I'd thought. I break her gaze and mess with my keyboard.
”Let's just try to do this without any other people knowing the deal,” she continues. ”I've had to lie tons to Kika and it's already been brutal. You're going to have to do the same. What have you already told Corey about me? Anything?”
”Corey's witnessed most of the text messages I sent during finals. He and everyone also watched me approach you on locker clean-out day. I bring you up every chance I get, but Corey thinks I'm nuts to be into you.”
”G.o.d...how embarra.s.sing. I want to know why Corey thinks you shouldn't like me.”
I feel the back of my neck grow hot. ”Corey believes you'll draw and quarter me. Eat me alive. Roast me on a spit, or just spit on me.”
She smiles. ”I'm glad someone respects the reputation I've worked so hard to set up. You deny yours as a player, but I'm proud of mine. What else did you say about me?”
I smile and shake my head. ”I said I wanted to date someone different. That I'm geared up for a long summer fling. I also told him you're sweet and I've had a secret crush on you since freshman year.” I swallow as my chest tightens, and I'm hit with the realization that everything I've told Corey about Jess is the complete truth.
And then some.
Jess's laugh is almost bordering on giggle. ”Such whoppers! See? You're a natural. What else!”
”That I can't wait for them to meet you-which reminds me-” I struggle to straighten my thoughts-keep my expression void of too much excitement. ”What time are you coming to the rink tonight? I'm on at five, but everyone usually shows up at six. That's when I start the snack bar s.h.i.+ft. It's dead during dinner, so I can hang out pretty easily until the late crowd shows. Do you know how to get there?”
Jess's eyes are now unreadable. I can't miss how she's tightened her shoulders. ”Tonight? So soon? Is that normal...like if this were real, would that seem like a normal thing for me to do?”
”Of course.” I nod and hold back an urge to laugh, because she's so darn serious. And because more than anything, I want to hang out with her, show her my rink and the other parts of my life. Tonight. Tomorrow. All summer.
”You sure?” She raises one eyebrow.
I sigh as though I don't care either way and turn it into a challenge. ”Your summer is ticking away and I'm on the pay clock. Are you afraid you can't handle being nice in public?”
She crosses her arms, her eyes snapping as she rises to my bait.”Please. How dare you insult my talents? I'm the master at layering on any state of being to hide my whacked out self.”
”I don't want you to show up faking it.” I shake my head, feeling bad for calling her on this. But if anything, by the end of the summer, I want Jess to understand I'm not buying her act. ”You don't have to layer on anything...just be yourself. I'm afraid you're going to show up and act like a too friendly h.e.l.lo Kitty...or something creepy. Just be how you are. If today has been you, being crazy, I've liked it. And you. As is. Crazy or not, if that's the real you, I'm in. And guess what. You come across as nice by default. My friends will feel the same.”
She laughs. ”Well then, even you've bought into my talents. I'm never the real me-not today, not ever. That girl scares the h.e.l.l out of everyone.”
”You are so flipping cr-” I stop myself before I say the word she wants me to believe about her. I was about to fling it out there carelessly, and hurt her. And she knew it.
I call Corey and Mich.e.l.le crazy twice a day or more, but around Jess I'm going to have to watch myself.
I shake my head at her glaring face. ”Nothing. Whatever.”