Part 14 (1/2)

My heart sinks as Jess pulls away from me. Has she changed her mind?

I try to meet her gaze. But her eyes are darting around the room, taking in everyone and everything but me. I stop her from bolting by holding on to one of her hands. When her gaze meets mine, I'm certain she's about to panic. Panic, and possibly cry.

I make sure her face is not in view of Corey and Mich.e.l.le and take up her other hand. I run my fingers over the backs of her knuckles and wait for her to find her control-or game face. Whatever it is she does to mask her feelings. I don't know when or how I get lost in her pale blue eyes. I stare deeper, tracking the glistening tears and glimmers of fear on the fringes of the many expressions crossing her face.

I long to see that fear erased. ”Please. Trust me. We can do this,” I whisper. But I said it so quietly, I'm not sure she's heard until she flushes beet red and gives me an almost imperceptible nod. I smile and draw her hands closer to my heart, never once breaking her gaze, which causes her to blush even more.

”Aww. So sweet.” Mich.e.l.le's voice hits me from thousands of miles away.

”Dude. This is like a bad Disney Channel movie.” Corey pretends to gag-vomit. ”Make out already or cut us loose. If you drop down on your knees right now and whip out some jewelry-we are so done hanging out. Seriously...yuck.”

Corey's sarcasm cuts through some of the fog between me and Jess and the rest of the world, but not much. I can't gather my swirling thoughts to play it off. Nor can I joke back at Corey's comments. This has all become extremely important to me.

”Shh. Both of you,” I say over my shoulder, not once taking my gaze off Jess's. I put slight pressure on her hands and my heart flips, h.e.l.l-it actually stops-when she allows me to intertwine my fingers with hers.

Jess smiles then, finally. And I know she's going to be okay because she says, ”G.o.d. Corey's right. You're embarra.s.sing all of us. Did you guys know Gray's such a romantic weirdo? He loves Jane Austen too.”

”He is? He does? I never knew,” gushes Mich.e.l.le.

”And again: YUCK,” groans Corey.

I let go of Jess's hands and turn so Corey and Mich.e.l.le have a better view of her face while I try to shoot for my goal. ”In case you two hadn't noticed, I'm still trying to get this amazing girl to take me seriously. Will you, Jess? Be my girlfriend this summer?” Jess swallows. I know her shuttered, closed off expression is her way of giving me one last chance to back out. Without a blink, I continue, ”Please. Say yes. That we're going out. That you're my girlfriend. Officially, and right now. If you agree, I promise to tone it down.”

”Man. Jess, agree or end my boy's pain before we all puke,” Corey adds.

I'm the only one who catches her obvious slip.

The girl has been shaking her head with a definitive *no' this whole time. Luckily, she answers, ”Yes. Okay fine. Yes. Now, please. Make us some nachos.”

Chapter Sixteen.

Jess Tap. Tap. Tap.

I try to ignore the sound and pull my car-blanket over my head so I can go back to sleep, only I can't. It's not one of the usual sounds: not wind, not the soft patter of rain, nor the loud smacks that come with hail. It's...

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It's definitely not the scratchy sound branches make, either. Could it be a bird?

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. TAP.

The sound moves to the gla.s.s nearest my head. No bird could be responsible for that unless a spastic hummingbird is trying to make its way in to attack. I pull off the blanket.

Gray. Of course.

He looks all goofy. Smiling that heart-wrenching half-smile I can't get used to. A smile that has actually served me well the past few nights. When I'm about to drift off to sleep, just thinking about that smile attached to him gives me a huge adrenaline rush and saves me from falling all the way asleep.

Unfortunately, in daylight, and in person-the effect is double. Now, all thoughts of napping are erased by the usual b.u.t.terfly monsoon that takes over my body when he's near. And he seems so happy to see me, I can't be mad that he's stolen precious minutes of morning sleep from me. Why does he have to be so...perfectly made? It's annoying.

Acting as though I'd known he was there the whole time, I open my side door to force him to step back as I launch one of my bored sighs. ”There's no need for you to stalk me. I said I'd be your girlfriend days ago. You're here early, what gives?”

He leans on the edge of my open door and smiles down right into my eyes.

Into my heart. Where I don't want him to be.

”FYI, s.p.a.cey. We're actually a bit late. Besides, it's typical boyfriend activity for me to track my GF's car.”

”It is?”

”Yep, got to be aware if you're playing me. If I didn't know you better, I'd a.s.sume you partied a lot and hid your hangover moments from your parents in your vehicle. Do you always nap before work?”

”I was meditating.”

”Lie. No one drools like that when they meditate.”

I turn back to get my bag along with two double-caffeinated Red Bulls and hop out. We fall into step, heading toward the employee entrance of Geekstuff.com.

”I hope that's not your breakfast.” He points to my drinks.

”It's a snack. I ate cereal at 4 AM. Thanks for-um-stopping to walk in with me.” I wipe the corners of my mouth. ”Was I really drooling?”

”You're avoiding my first question. The one about you sleeping in your car before work-why? And why were you eating cereal at 4 AM?”

I contemplate lying, and then see no point. He'd already caught me snoozing like a dork twice. Could make things easier if he knew some of the truth. ”I...I nap during the day. Dawn till dusk. Whenever I can.”

”Why? Are you some sort of all night bounty hunting vampire/zombie slayer? If so...I'm still in, because that's s.e.xy.” He grins.

I stop one step above him and turn to halt his progress while I delete all the things I don't want him to know about me from my answer. ”I don't sleep very well when it's dark because I sometimes have-like-night terrors. If I'm lucky, I manage to not sleep at all. So, I'm tired a lot. I use my car to catch up during the day. Any other questions, nosy?” I end it with a flippant smile.

”Wow. That sucks.” He's frowning.

”It is what it is. Just part of being me.” I tap my temple. ”I handle it just fine.” I look away from his too intense gaze and take in how cute his curls are when they're damp. I'm pretty certain the lime and freshness smell comes from his shampoo. One day, I'm going to be brave enough to ask him about it. Maybe.

”You'll let me know if you-you know-need help or whatever?” he says softly.

”Help sleeping? What gives you the idea I would need help with anything?” I snap, annoyed that this guy has the power to turn me into an idiot girl that contemplates boy shampoo.

”Nothing. But for the duration...if you need to talk...or...”

”Please. I've been napping in my car years before you came along. It is not a freaking *cry for help' so back off, Sir Lancelot. Park your white horse at some other girl's life. I only told you so you'd stop bugging me to go hiking with you at lunch. I need that hour to sleep.”

”Oh. Right.” He looks away, and I feel kind of bad because I think I've hurt his feelings.

”Look, I do appreciate that you care.” I soften my tone. ”I'm very used to this situation. I'm fine. Great actually. This job, hanging at the rink...things couldn't be better. My first round of college applications is almost filled out. And, because your-I mean-Corey Nash's daily text messages bring a constant bloom to my cheeks, my parents are thrilled. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's enough. No need to volunteer where you aren't needed, that's all.”