Part 35 (1/2)

Gray dives at me and crushes me against his chest, breathing fast. ”I've got you. Oh my G.o.d. I've got you! What are you doing here?”

My nose is pressed flat into his s.h.i.+rt. My Kika-arranged hair has fallen in a ma.s.s cl.u.s.ter over my face. His arms suddenly tighten around me to the point I can hardly breathe. I cling to him harder than I should, but I can't help it.

Is the wild thumping in my head from my heart or his heart?

”Uh...” I say, finally, when after a long moment he still hasn't moved to let me go. ”This is not at all how I'd imagined this conversation. And believe me, I'd actually planned for a few scenarios. Practiced them in front of a mirror too,” I add, breathing in his warmth.

”Ditto. I also wrote a script.”

”Please.” I laugh and look up. He's smiling down at me through my tangled hair. ”Gray. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me for what I said?”

He pulls me closer. ”You've got it backwards. If only I could replay the whole thing. Please, accept my apology. Forever. I'll be sorry.”

”I do. I do. Okay? That's why I'm here. And I want to apologize right back for not understanding. For not listening.”

”Well, you're going to listen now.” He takes in a huge breath. ”How is it you manage to always smell so good? Is that the peach pie stuff again?”

”To be exact, it's cobbler. And well...you smell like limes and...happiness to me.” I feel suddenly shy and my voice wavers even more. ”I came for one of those-those. Um. You know. Make up kisses? I heard that's what you do when you have a fight with your boyfriend. If, you are....actually...still my boyfriend?” I hold my breath.

He breathes into the top of my head. ”h.e.l.l yes. Yes!”

”h.e.l.l yes you'll kiss me? Or h.e.l.l yes you're my boyfriend?”

”Both. G.o.d...Jess...both.” He hugs me tighter.

I try to pull free, wanting desperately to see his face, and I realize my hair has become so tangled into the b.u.t.tons of his s.h.i.+rt that I can't move my head more than two inches away from his chest.

Of course I can't.

”I'm stuck...my hair is caught on your b.u.t.tons,” I say into his s.h.i.+rt. ”Are you wearing a suit?”

He pulls back. ”Wow. It is stuck. And-I'm wearing a blazer...yeah.”

”Ouch. Easy...” I grumble as I feel hairs pulling out.

”It's bad. Hold still.” I can hear the laughter in his voice. His fingers move into my hair. I'm actually glad he can't see my face because I'm still processing the fact that Gray Porter's said he's my boyfriend! Which means I'm Gray Porter's girlfriend!

His fingers move to the b.u.t.ton near my nose. ”I kind of like you stuck to me like this.”

I quip back, ”Good. Then get used to my moves. I have hundreds of ways to keep you tethered. I take the words *old ball and chain' very seriously because from here on it gets ugly.”

He breaks the last strands of my hair free and, for the first time, I'm able to look at his beautiful green eyes. He smiles down at me and caresses my face. ”I was hoping you'd say that.”

I reach up to loop my index finger gently through the curl on his forehead that's always out of place and move it up high with the others. I let my hand fall softly against his cheek, feeling the roughness of his morning beard against my palm, while my thumb explores the divot in his chin and my eyes travel to the strong curve of his lips. ”I need you to kiss me. Right now. Please.” I know I sound desperate, but I don't even care. All I want is some a.s.surance that this moment-that we are real.

My heart races when he leans in. Faster and faster. Our gazes tangle and I read his expression. It matches what I'm feeling: longing, mixed with happiness.

My heart soars and I lean toward him too.

”Not yet,” he pleads with a long, shaky breath and places his hands on my shoulders. ”You got to kiss first yesterday, and it caused only chaos and confusion. I can't have you melting my mind with those lips and then expecting me to have any sort of coherent conversation. You're going to have to stop looking at me like that until I say what needs to be said.”

”Are you serious? I'm not going to beg you twice...” I blush and look away.

Gray laughs. ”Buck up. I'm still under contract and according to that doc.u.ment I'm not allowed to kiss you at all.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope flas.h.i.+ng the contents to me. It's full of hundred dollar bills and a copy of our contract! ”No more checks for you to destroy. Take this cash. It's yours, and then tear up the contract.”

I make no move to touch the envelope. ”I don't want that money. You-you need that for college. You are not changing any goals just because me.”

”It's important. I want the contract ended. Taking your half of the money from the interns.h.i.+p is the only way to make it fair in my mind.”

”Yeah, but you earned it fairly. You don't even really know what this-what we are. And we sure don't know how things will work out. So...maybe I like the contract as is. We could re-write it? Add that we're dating on a trial basis, and then you could continue getting paid. Because we are both going to finish working the interns.h.i.+p, right?”

He raises his brows. ”I'm calling your bluffs from now on. We both know exactly what is between us, and how it will work out. We don't need a paper to bind us together. You love me, Jess Jordan, and I've been head over heels in love with you since freshman year. Let's at least come clean about that. Our contract is over, and you have to take back this money.”

A lump has lodged into the back of my throat. My heart has swarmed with two billion b.u.t.terflies. I pull out the contract and look at our names scrawled on the bottom of it.

”Waiting.” He sounds annoyed.

”Okay. But this is really hard for me to say,” I snap. ”I'm afraid.”

”Don't be. I want to hear that you agree.” His eyes burn into mine.

”The contract is over,” I say in a rush, feeling my face go hot all over again. ”But...it seems sad to tear it up. I want to save this. It's so cute. Now...how about that kiss?”

He shakes his head and shoots me a warning glower. ”Don't try to distract me. Finish saying what I need to hear.”

I cross my arms over my chest. ”I love you. Okay. I love you, and I get it. That you love me back. Happy?”

He grins so wide the sunlight seems to sparkle off every inch of him. ”Almost. I can't move one more inch,” he says, holding up the envelope. ”Not off this porch, not on with my life, and I will not kiss you ever again if this money is between us. Take it back.”

I manage an expression that matches the seriousness in his voice even though inside I'm having a mini-scream-for-joy-party. ”I'll take the money if you agree to play on Coach Williams' team and shoot for a scholars.h.i.+p.”

Gray's eyes flash first with what looks like surprise, then anger. Then it changes to what appears to be hope. He nods once. ”It's a fair arrangement. Provided he'll have me back.”

”He will. He told me so.”

”But you dump me, then I'm quitting again.”

I take the envelope full of cash and shove it into my pocket. ”There. Deal complete. Pucker up, boyfriend.”

He sighs, and looks deeper into my eyes and I can sense something's still wrong.

”What?”

”What I did, freshman year...it's haunted me. Now that you've remembered, can you honestly say that nothing's changed about your feelings toward me? What if you can never forget me-what I did-what I didn't do...”

”Stop. I don't ever want to forget you being there. Never. You were afraid, just like me. And I shouldn't be mad at you for that. You stepped up. You were my hero that night, and I see that now. You stopped him. Gray...you stopped him from hurting me.” My voice breaks and my eyes well with tears. ”I can't imagine who or what I'd be if you hadn't come in that room. You saved everything. And I was wrong to say I hated you for any part of that....”