Part 46 (1/2)

”He looks younger.”

”By two years. He was five there.”

”Where is he now?”

”In rehab. Booze, crack, heroin. You name it.” He shook his head. ”Our fault, not his.”

”Why do you say that?”

”Jimmy was six-and-a-half when Tara disappeared. We forgot about him when that happened. Everything was Tara, Tara, Tara.”

”That's understandable.”

”Not when you're six. And then seven. And then eight-nine-ten, and your family life is an ongoing wake for your sister. Then at eleven he loses his mother. I'm sure he heard the suicide talk. And to him that meant his mother had abandoned him, that her grief over her dead daughter was greater than her love for her living son. He was too young to understand that maybe she hadn't thought it through, that maybe it was the worst day of her life and some crazy impulse took control.”

Gia saw his throat working as he looked away. She couldn't think of anything to say except, You poor man, that poor boy. But that sounded condescending, so she waited in the leaden silence.

Finally Joe Portman sniffed and said, ”You know, you can keep hope alive for only so long. When we hit the five-year mark and no Tara, we had to... we had to accept the worst. Maybe if I'd been with her more that fifth anniversary day, Dot might have got past it, and she'd still be up and about today. But everything must have looked too black to go on-maybe just for a few minutes or an hour, but that was enough. So now Jimmy was motherless and his father still still wasn't paying attention to him, what with all that Dot needed.” Portman rubbed his face, as if ma.s.saging his jowls. ”Jimmy's first bust-the first of many-was at age thirteen for selling marijuana and it was all downhill from there.” wasn't paying attention to him, what with all that Dot needed.” Portman rubbed his face, as if ma.s.saging his jowls. ”Jimmy's first bust-the first of many-was at age thirteen for selling marijuana and it was all downhill from there.”

Gia felt a growing knot in her chest. The pain this man, this family had been through... no wonder he was on medication.

”Then I learned I had to divorce Dot.”

”Had to?”

”To save the house and-so I hoped at the time-to save Jimmy, I had to divorce her. That way she'd be without support and could qualify for welfare and be covered by Medicaid. The irony of it is, if I'd waited a couple of years it wouldn't have been necessary.”

”You mean they changed the law?”

”No.” He smiled, but it was a painful grimace. ”I stopped going to work. Jimmy was in a juvenile detention center at the time and I was alone in the house, and I just couldn't get myself out of bed. And if by some miracle I did, I couldn't leave the house. I kept the shades down and the lights off and just sat in the dark, afraid to move. Finally the bank let me go. And then I lost the house, and wound up on welfare and on Medicaid, just like Dot.”

Almost numb from the torrent of pain, Gia placed the photos back in the trunk and looked around for something that might elicit happier memories. She picked up a short stack of vinyl record alb.u.ms. The cover of the first featured a close-up of a cute red-haired girl with a wistful stare.

Gia heard Joe Portman let out a short laugh, not much more than a ”Heh.”

”Tiffany. Tara's favorite. She played those records endlessly, from the moment she got home.”

Gia flipped the top one over. She remembered Tiffany, how she toured shopping malls at the start of her career. What were her hits? She did new versions of old songs. Hadn't she redone an early Beatles tune? Gia scanned through the song list...

She gasped.

”What's wrong?” Portman said.

”Oh, nothing.” Gia swallowed, trying to moisten her dry tongue. ”It's just that I'd forgotten that Tiffany remade 'I Think We're Alone Now.'”

”Oh, that song!” Portman groaned. ”Tara would sing it day and night. She had a great voice, never missed a note, but how many times can you listen to the same song? Drove us crazy! But you know what?” His voice thickened. ”I'd give anything in the world-my life-to hear her sing it again. Just once.”

If Gia had harbored any subconscious doubts that the ent.i.ty in Menelaus Manor was Tara Portman, they'd vanished now.

She dug deeper into the trunk and came up with a plush doll she immediately recognized.

”Roger Rabbit!”

Portman reached past her and took the doll, He turned it over in his hands, staring at it with br.i.m.m.i.n.g eyes.

”Roger,” he whispered. ”I almost forgot about you.” He gave Gia a quick glance. ”I haven't been in here in a while.” He sighed. ”The movie came out the summer she disappeared. She made me take her three times, and I swear every time she laughed harder than before. Probably would have had to take her a fourth time if...”

He handed back the doll.

Gia stared at its wide blue eyes and felt tears begin to slip down her cheeks. She quickly wiped her eyes, but not quickly enough.

”I'll be d.a.m.ned,” Portman said.

”What?”

”A reporter with feelings. I can't tell you how many reporters I've talked to since 1988, and you're the first who's ever shown any real emotion.”

”Maybe they were more experienced. And maybe this. .h.i.ts a little too close to home for me.”

”You've got a daughter?”

Gia nodded. ”She's eight... and she just discovered Roger Rabbit on video. She loves him.”

The tears again. Gia willed them back but they kept flowing. What happened to Tara Portman-plucked out of a happy life and killed or worse. It was too cruel, just... too cruel.

”Don't you let her out of your sight,” Portman was saying. ”Stay on top of her every minute, because you never know... you never know.”

Terror spiked her. Vicky was far away, at camp. Why on earth had she let her go?

But she couldn't raise Vicky in a bubble. Part of her wanted to, but it wouldn't be fair.

Gia replaced Roger in the trunk and rose to her feet. She felt lightheaded. ”I... I think I've got enough now.”

”You'll send me a copy?” Portman said.

”Sure. If I sell it.”

”You'll sell it. You've got heart. I can tell. I want it published. I want Tara's name out there again. I know she's gone. I know she'll never come back. But I don't want her forgotten. She's just a statistic now. I want her to be a name again.”

”I'll do my best,” Gia said.

She felt terrible about lying to him. There'd never be an article. Scalding guilt propelled her toward the door to escape this hot smelly box where the walls seemed to be closing in.

Portman followed her. ”Do you know what Tara might have been, where she could have gone? She could sing, she could play piano, she could ride, she was smart as a whip and she loved life, every moment of it. She had two parents who loved her and a great life ahead of her. But it was all snuffed out.” He snapped his fingers. ”Just like that. And not by some freak accident, but on purpose. On purpose! And what about Jimmy? Who knows what he could have been? Better than the junkie he is now. And what about me and Dot? We could have grown old together, had grandkids. But that's never going to happen.” His voice broke. ”You let people know that whoever took my Tara didn't kill just a little girl. He killed a whole family!”

Gia only nodded as she stepped into the hall, unable to push a word past the invisible band that had a death grip on her throat.