Part 22 (1/2)

”I'm well. Busy as usual.” Susan twisted the bag of apricots closed, set it in her cart, and prepared to move on.

”I hate to admit it, but I'm almost glad the AmTex contract fell through. It's been awfully nice having Jerry home for dinner these past couple of weeks, and Tommy's had him out throwing the football every single night.”

Susan's foot stopped moving midstep. The AmTex deal had fallen through? The same deal that had kept James working late, even on weekends? She gripped her cart a little tighter and looked at Annamarie. ”Yes, it's always nice having them home, isn't it?”

That single moment, eating a slice of peach sample, had started the slow demolition of the perfect little life Susan had always imagined she was living. But at least then she'd still had herself to depend on, as well as the deep-rooted belief that she was strong enough to make it through this and come out the other end better and stronger. Now there was a different truth staring her in the face.

Little by little, the realization began to creep in.

Everything Susan had been so confident about, all those things she'd done so much better than other people, were all illusions. All it had accomplished was building a bigger platform for her failure.

They would need to put the house on the market right away after returning home. In spite of the sluggish economy and real estate market, she felt sure it'd sell. Their neighborhood was in the best school district. Young parents paid extra to live in that area so their kids could start getting ahead early. It was the same reason she and James had chosen it all those years ago filled with dreams of what a wonderful life they would all have. How had it all fallen apart?

”h.e.l.lo, there. Okay if I join you?”

Susan barely glanced over her shoulder to see Gary walking toward her. He was wearing his usual jeans and dark T-s.h.i.+rt. He came to sit beside her on the gra.s.s. ”I saw Julie. She didn't tell me much, but she told me you were up here and that you are very upset. What can I do to help you?”

Susan shook her head. ”There's nothing. At this point, it's all over.” She turned to look at him now, realizing what she must look like-very little sleep, no makeup; she hadn't even brushed her hair. Not that it mattered anyway. ”I want to ask you a question, and I want the absolute truth.”

”You got it.”

”Did you say or do anything so that Kendra, or any of the crew, would know what happened last night?”

”Of course not.”

”Kendra said someone saw the lights on. I just wanted to make sure. . . . ”

”All I can tell you is that after I drove you two back to my cabin, I didn't see or talk with anyone until I spoke to Julie a few minutes ago.” He reached down and plucked a blade of gra.s.s, twirling it between his thumb and middle finger with enough speed to make the end whip out helicopter style. ”Well, that's not technically true, I suppose.” He dropped the gra.s.s blade, then turned his full gaze directly on Susan. ”I saw you and Angie after, because I followed you.”

”Followed us?”

”I walked far enough behind the two of you that you could talk without me overhearing, but close enough that I could see you reach the farmhouse safely. I know there are security guards around, but I thought it was better to play it safe.”

Wow. Whatever Susan had expected to hear, that was not it. She couldn't take the intensity of his gaze any longer and turned away.

Down at the water's edge a couple of birds sang greetings back and forth to each other, perhaps commenting on the pleasant sound of the water gurgling past, or the nice flavor of this morning's breakfast, or maybe planning an outing later in the afternoon. Life was so simple for animals. ”I'm leaving today.”

”I see.” He plucked another blade of gra.s.s. ”What happened?”

She told him the story, the part of it he didn't already know. She shrugged. ”I thought coming here was going to make everything okay, but instead it's ruined everything.”

”I don't know that I'd say that. Sounds to me like you might have found the thing that is most important. Maybe that is all the success you needed here.” He looked out toward the creek and nodded. ”I'd like to come visit you sometime, if that's all right with you.”

”I'd like that.” She knew it was just talk, would likely never come to pa.s.s, but it frightened her just how much she meant those words. ”I've . . . got to go.” She stood up and started back toward the house.

Chapter 35.

Julie sat at the kitchen table, daydreaming about moving here, or at least to a little farm somewhere. No phone, no Internet. How much nicer would life be then? But if Susan decided to stand up to Kendra, it could vanish at any second.

The sound of the kids pounding down the stairs interrupted her thoughts and turned her attention back to reality. Whitney led the charge as they walked through the kitchen on their way to the barn, apparently oblivious to Julie even sitting there. Whitney called back toward her brother, ”You are crazy. I did the chickens yesterday. It's my turn to feed the goats.”

Brian grabbed his boots and started hopping into one. ”You did do the chickens yesterday, but I had to feed them two days in a row last week because you were running late, remember? I'm taking my repayment today. You're on chicken duty.”

”Come on, I never said I would pay you back for that.”

”All right, then. Let's just pretend I'm running late today. You can do both jobs.”

”Yeah, yeah. I'll feed your stinking chickens.” She stood up and bounded out the door, her blond ringlets bouncing behind her. Julie watched them go, thinking how happy they seemed here, too. The argument over feeding chickens had all been in good humor. At home, the kids were so busy running their different directions that their interactions were usually shorter and much terser.

Julie walked over to the stove and stirred the oatmeal, then sliced some of yesterday's bread and put it in the oven for toast. She poured milk in all the gla.s.ses and set the table. Before long, the kids came clamoring back. Whitney took a big gulp of milk. ”So, Mom, today is mid-terms, then we've got a week off school. I'm thinking, maybe we drive into town for ice cream to celebrate. What do you think?”

”Well, I'm not really sure.”

”What's there not to be sure about? It's supposed to be rumspringa, right? How about just the kids go into town? That should work, right?”

”Whitney, we'll talk about it when you get back from school.”

Angie sat at the table, stirring her oatmeal without taking a bite. ”Where's Mom?”

”She went for a walk.”

Angie nodded and turned her attention back to her bowl. She looked up at Julie, then back down.

Julie didn't think it was her place to tell Angie about the recording, so she remained quiet during breakfast. When they'd finished, she said, ”Okay, kids, time to take off for school.”

They each carried bowls and cups over to the sink. On the way out the door, Angie turned. ”Will you tell Mom . . .” She paused, then stood with her hand on the doorframe. ”Tell her I said, *Thank you.' ”

Julie nodded. ”Don't worry. I'll tell her.”

”Good.” Angie turned and hurried out to catch up with the other kids.

As Susan approached the door of the shack, she considered opening it and saying, ”Knock, knock”-see how Kendra liked it. But she wouldn't do that. Neither would she bother to knock. She opened the door and walked in.

The room was empty.

So much for her grand showdown. She turned and started to the farmhouse when she noticed Julie doing a load of laundry, so she changed course.

Julie didn't miss a beat as she pulled the lever back and forth, but she did look up and smile. ”I'm going to miss this place.”

”Why is it you like it so much?” Even without the current looming disaster, conditions here were primitive enough that Susan had been counting the days back to the real world.

”It's like everything I do here is for a reason. Was.h.i.+ng the clothes is hard, but I understand the necessity for it. Cooking in the wood stove is hard, and hot, but my family needs to eat.” The water made swoos.h.i.+ng sounds, as if saying, has a reason, has a reason. ”When I get to the real world, there are so many things that consume my time, and most of them I just don't think are necessary.”

Susan nodded, supposing that she understood to some degree. ”I think most of the things you do are for a reason.”